seeing innocence -- deep listening

I spent most of the day Monday working alone and at first I was at a loss as to how to practice listening on my own.

By lunchtime I noticed my large volume of internal chatter so I started listening to myself. I was judgmental and self-critical about how the past weekend had gone. It was loud. Most of the chatter was a critique of my failures over the weekend.

Once I heard what was happening I was able to turn my attention to remembering. I remembered I am doing the best that I can at any given moment and that all humans act unskillfully at times. It changed nothing to verbally beat myself up for being human. I didn't have to add harm to myself on top of my unskillful behavior. I could extend caring towards myself as I listened.

With this in my awareness there was a sense of relief and release. The rest of the day was much quieter and peaceful. Thankfully.