away with shoulds

My steady avoiding of a 'should' kept me from blogging for over a year. You know those shoulds I bet, even though yours are probably different from mine.

"you should really offer to help wrap presents" "you really should let that feeling go" and so on.

My blog should: 'you can't stop in the middle of honeymoon posts! you should finish them'.
Finally I admit publicly I can't write anymore about the past because my memory is not that good.

the briefest recap of what I do remember:

We had a wonderful, wonderful honeymoon in Victoria. We had a fabulous Canadian wedding, where previously unknown friends of friends made our second wedding fabulous, full of heart felt yumminess and were witnesses. Getting married outside, signing the legal document, getting the certificate in the mail, all of it awesome. Butchart gardens are amazing, see them if you can. Fog delays planes. Virginia we wear the hats in the winter, and Dorothy we use and love the pewter spoon for parties.
hey wait I minute I found a partially written post with a few details about honeymoon Friday:
I think this was the morning I actually managed to sleep later than 6 am. It was pretty nice. Breakfast I think was french toast which was good but far too sweet for me since I don't eat sugar. Luckily we had cheese and nuts in the fridge in our kitchen.
We left after breakfast to hit the local shopping center. I wanted to pick up a few things for the wedding and my sweetie did a load or two of laundry. Those bikes were so great for using around Victoria. I bought some red roses and tied myself up a bouquet and we got dressed. The weather was fabulous, sunny and warm, we were so happy we would be able to get married outside in the garden right near our patio.
In some ways this was the wedding we wanted. We didn't need to take guests into consideration. I can certainly see the attraction of eloping or having tiny weddings with just a few people. We filled out the paperwork on the license ahead of time. That was pretty cool too. I wore a simple dress it was ivory [again] which really surprised me. My sweetie decided to wear just black pants, white shirt and her black silk blazer, a totally different look from the wedding at home.

If you are wondering about getting married I say go for it!
anyway back to 2009.

I guess really I don't miss being engaged. I actually had to stop typing and think about it.
I love, love, love being married. Now we have 2 anniversaries to celebrate, heck 3 since we also celebrate the day we met. I still love my rings though occasionally I forget to wear them.

In the upcoming days I hope to blog about [though not all in one day I hope]
--what I am currently knitting
--learning to spin with a spindle instead of wheel
--becoming a great aunt in 2008
--letting go of fear
--how happy I am the Obama will be president soon
--elderly parents and loving them
--enjoying your crazy family
--yoga and qi gong
--how not to avoid journalling
--extreme self care
--making art
--traditional whole food cooking
and who knows what else

the honeymoon-Friday

I think this was the morning I actually managed to sleep later than 6 am. It was pretty nice. Breakfast I think was french toast which was good but far to sweet for me since I don't eat sugar. Luckily we had cheese and nuts in the fridge in our kitchen.

We left after breakfast to hit the local shopping center. I wanted to pick up a few things for the wedding and my sweetie did a load or two of laundry. Those bikes were so great for using around Victoria. I bought some red roses and tied myself up a bouquet and we got dressed. The weather was fabulous, sunny and warm, we were so happy we would be able to get married outside in the garden right near our patio.

It was a lovely simple wedding. I wore a simple dress it was ivory [again] which really surprised me. My sweetie decided to wear just black pants, white shirt and her black silk blazer, a totally different look from the wedding at home. There were two witnesses, new victorian friends who brought gifts and our two hosts present. It was short and sweet. We all toasted everything we could think of as we stood on the patio and signed the paperwork. The we went out for a late lunch.

Our Canadian wedding was totally different from the one with family and a big party but still very meaningful for us.

the Honeymoon-Thursday

So we arrive to the Thursday report of our honeymoon. I was up at what feels like dawn. My dress still hadn't arrived but the tracking number was now working but unhelpful. My dress went to New Brunswick?! then to Seattle, then to Vancouver then finally it says it's on its way to Victoria.

We ate our breakfast quickly because we had an appointment with Whales that day. Breakfast = some kind of fritata which didn't do that much for me, I ate it though for the protein. My DW can't eat it at all because it had broccoli in it.

Our arrival time and place was too early and away from the harbor. I understand that they don't want people to miss the boat but what a waste. And why we didn't just meet at the dock I don't know. it's a very cool and gloomy day. After we get going on the boat, I was still cold even with all my gear on so I gratefully took an extra coat from the boat's supply. We picked the boat with a cabin and bathroom so there is a way to get out of the cold when needed.

The trip was fun. I love being out on the water no matter what. My sweetie was radiant with joy, she loves the water too, and animals. We saw 5 humpbacks and sea lions galore. And really had a great though chilly 3 hours on the water.

We got back in time for a late lunch, we took our bikes to China town and had lunch at the place that had been closed the day before. It was great, and we had a leisurely time eating and drinking hot tea. We then walked our bikes down Government street looking at all the stuff we had been missing when we biked by.

We got home and my dress had arrived safely though so wrinkled. I hung it up to steam. I now have my cord for my laptop and can catch up on computer stuff easily. Though not in the room, because for some reason the wifi would not work in our room. My sweetie takes a nap and I wander around taking tons of pictures on the B&B. I spoke to our host about a dilemma, is it really worth it to visit Buchart gardens? I explain that we can't bike quite that far, and renting a scooter or taking a coach bus is very pricey. He looks at me quizzically, 'why not just take a city bus?' The man is brilliant. The city bus route takes you right there! For $3 round trip. What a deal. We make plans to do that on Saturday.

Then we set off for a bike ride on the coast to work up appetites for dinner. I keep thinking oak bay is just around the next outcropping but wasn't. After about half an hour we have done a lot of hills and are ready for the trip home. Especially since we don't have lights on the bikes.

We wander down to the fisherman's wharf to eat at Barb's Place, I had been resisting going there because I thought it would all be fried fish and chips. But you do not have to get your fish fried there. We had some great fish and salads and fries and it was all yummy. Barb's is an outside eatery, but there was 3 sided pavilion to eat in so we were cozy. We got there just before they closed and enjoyed a peak of sun with the sunset.

Walked home hand and hand. Really looking forward to the wedding the next day.

the honeymoon-Wednesday

Up early again. I don't think I ever really got on Victoria time. But I loved hanging out in our kitchen and our patio drinking tea and doing qi gong.

Eventually it's 8:30 and breakfast time. It is ricotta pancakes this morning which are seriously yummy. We laze around a bit in the morning and get stuff together. I visited a fabulous yarn store the afternoon before because I came to Canada without my knitting. So I had a perfect excuse to buy something like hand painted silk yarn. So I do a bit of casting on... It's a lovely, sunny day.

We bike to the harbor and lock the bikes up. We have forgotten our helmets again. We take a long walk all along the north side of the harbor and cross the seriously funky blue bridge, we walk back through town and poke around a bit. We visit the old established Roger's chocolate store. We ponder buy presents for people at home, but then we decide it will be best if we take some home to test before buying gifts.

Next we had reservations for tea at the Empress, we figured you have to do it once. This a seriously beautiful, old hotel. We have a great table at the window overlooking the harbor. The tea is yummy, the service wonderful, the food just ok. Really not worth the price but fun to do for once. Afterwards we tour the public rooms of the hotel, they are truly beautiful. Then we take lots of pictures in the neighboring rose garden. Victoria is still full of flowers in the first week of October. We seriously thought about going to the museum but the weather is so great we can't bear to go inside no matter how many fabulous things we hear about it.

Then we took a harbor ferry on a gorge tour. It was beautiful out on the water. Afterwards we poke around Chinatown, we wanted to have dinner at the Chinese cafe we found on Monday but they were closed on Wednesdays. So we end up at Nautical Nellie's. My sweetie indulges her oyster love. I had scallops, my serious sea food favorite. They are the tiny ones and so yummy. Not having much luck with my wine choices though.

There was quite an exciting ride home in the dark. Luckily it is not far, the bikes do not come with lights. We have a great cozy evening. Wednesday was another lovely honeymoon day.

the Honeymoon-Tuesday

I am waking up early as far as Victoria time is concerned but that it all to the good. I make myself tea, commune with kitties in the garden and do qi gong. This day was gloomy, one of the 2 gloomy days we had.

After breakfast, scrambled eggs with salmon I think...we gather information and head off on our bikes. We head first to the Canada stat building [not sure what that is short for] and buy a marriage license. It is an incredible thing to be able to do. The woman also printed us out a list of marriage commissioners just in case one of our officiants didn't work out. It was a great experience. and makes me so ashamed of my country. Things need to change. Since change is inevitable, I have hope.

Then we are off to the library. They happily issue us a temporary card so that we can use the computers while we are there. The other thing we forgot at home was the cord for my computer. We get our first few pictures of our wedding in email that day. They are so sweet. My dress is on my way, but we realize there is no way we can count on getting the dress on Wednesday, so we plan the wedding for Friday afternoon.

We then hit the thrift stores for sunglasses, hats and gloves, and other stuff that just got left behind. We have great luck. Then it's off to Government street, we look at the shops, have lunch at Murchie's, an establishment over 100 years old. We visit the equally old tobacco shop and bookstore on either side of it. Then we head for home and unload.

Off to take a bike ride along the coast. it is still beautiful even with the gloom. We take pictures and just really enjoy. Not to mention we get tons of exercise and get an appetites ready for dinner. Change into nice clothes and we head off for a local french restaurant. I love to eat french food in Canada. We didn't call ahead though, and they are having a special event, the owner comes out and explains it is a special wine/dinner event, 9 courses with matching wines. He had a few no shows so he would be delighted to have us join for only $75! This is an incredible deal, but we decline since my sweetie doesn't drink. We never do get back there, which is really a shame.

We go down the street to the Superior, a tapas restaurant. It's a great place with interesting food but we don't have a very good meal due to pure bad luck. One of the items we ordered is the risotto balls. This has a very strong musty cheese in it. I am a bit a of cheese wimp but it was even too strong for my sweetie. That taste overpowered the rest of the meal and all we could taste was mould. Ah well. The adventures of eating out. We head off for home very satisfied with our honeymoon Tuesday.

the Honeymoon-Monday

Sunday evening we went for a short walk to Fisherman's wharf. Just to stretch our legs and be in Canada. Victoria is wonderful. It is cool and blustery.

We wake up on Monday, on our honeymoon in Canada. We have a fabulous breakfast of individual cranberry apple souffles and try to plan our day. Everyone in the B&B is super nice. It was kind of fun seeing the different people come and go, we were there 7 days. This is the day Canadians celebrate thanksgiving so it's a holiday for everyone. We have been looking at maps and talking. We want to look at the town, get some Canadian money. After an abortive start due to a forgotten wallet we go downtown and rent bikes so that we can get around more easily. We find the Internet cafe and check emails. DW send emails about a mutual Victorian friend, and I email officiants. We look poke into stores looking for a replacement dress and just looking. We find several downtown thrift stores, but they are all closed for the holiday.

I am frustrated and unsure what to do about the dress but other than that it is fun. There is sunshine and the harbor. We have some fabulous Chinese food for lunch and try to learn about the layout of the town and decide on the kind of things we want to do.

Find a grocery store and buy some staples like cheese and crackers and tea. We hang out in our digs, our Victorian friend has tried to call. I'll call my HN and tell her I don't have my dress. She assures me it is in my suitcase, somewhere between laughing and crying I assure her it's not. She was equally sure I had packed it. I give her the house sitter's number and ask her to go over to the house to see if she can find the dress. I'll call the house-sitter to give warning and apologize for any inconvenience. Roaming charges in Canada are pretty high I find out later. Luckily we have a phone in our room for all local calls.

I wonder around the public parts of the house a bit, it is all fabulous. DW had her first talk with our Victorian friend, hereby called VF. She gives us a long list of stuff to check out and things to do in Victoria. [we would need a month to do it all] We leave getting dinner until kind of too late and we are starving at 8:30. Because of the holiday we really should have been more organized. We eat fish in a hotel restaurant and it's not bad. We are just happy to be getting fed at that point. We walk home happy and fed and have a great night.

so the engagement's over...wedding weekend sunday

So that's it right, here we are married and the engagement is completed [successfully] so no more blog. right?


well not exactly, because we still had our wedding in Canada. I'm still in mid story and I really want to finish.


So last post the reception was over and all things were great. And stuff kept happening.


I wake up early that morning, we had house guests the night before and they need to get to the airport. The twin cities marathon is being run that morning and it's route closes all the quickest routes to the airport. But I get them there is a timely fashion and get home to try to make sense of the chaos that is our home and pack for the honeymoon.


While trying to unearth and sort needed stuff, I look through a big box that came from the church the night before. This is the box with which the florist delivered the 6 bouquets and 8 corsages. There is still a corsage in there, yep my one sil never rsvp'd and never showed, but wait, there is a corsage in the clear bag marked "mothers".

The room and my head spins.

My mother never got her corsage. The flowers that I thought about so much, the flowers that she really enjoys. All those pictures, everyone else had their flowers but MY MOTHER. Why didn't anyone else notice??! I can barely understand why I was in no state to be organized, but how could my sisters, my chief ninja, the attendants, the head usher, my MOTHER herself not notice? Or did my mother notice and just not bring it up!! I feel like crying, all those pictures [that I still haven't seen 10/24] everyone else will have flowers but not her. I still feel badly about it. Everything else was small or I can let go of...even the cake I didn't get to taste. We can buy cake from that baker in that flavor...but my 81 year old mom and my wedding pictures. No flowers.

I knew things are never perfect but it hurts. So we proceed to get things ready for the house sitter. My sweetie's parents and 2 siblings come over to drop off sweetie's wallet that they took home by accident. DW's mom can barely be dragged away, she would have loved watching us open gifts. She even opens one of our wedding cards herself, I almost die from trying not to laugh. Finally they leave and we are still not packed.

Our ride to the airport, HN and HU, comes early, and they help us pack and try to keep our heads on. The first thing I do is wrap my Canadian wedding dress in a plastic bag for protection. Everything I am taking is going on the office bed along with the suitcase to get packed. It goes fairly well. We figure we'll buy stuff we end up needing. They say they will drop off my mum's flowers at hotel after they take us to airport. They get us to airport in plenty of time.

The plane to Seattle is full and our seats are 20 aisles apart. There is nothing we can do but feel sad and try to sleep. We find edible food in the C terminal and get on our short airhop to Victoria. That goes well and customs into Canada goes quickly. There is a shuttle bus that goes into downtown Victoria that will take us to our B&B.

We get to the B&B at about 8pm. The hosts have gone out to eat but have left us keys. Our suite is fantastic and everything is great. We are on our honeymoon and very happy. We unpack and I realize that the dress that I had bought special to wear to get married in Canada is not in the suitcase. It is not in Canada with us. I cry from disappointment combined with exhaustion.

This is the moment for our hosts to knock on the door, I explain to them the room is great and we are fine. I'm just crying because my dress is AWOL. They are sympathetic. I have to laugh when I think of the spectacle I probably made of myself. We go to bed, breakfast is at 8:30.