presence--deep listening

It seems fitting I am wrapping up this week with some thoughts on presence. Presence can be viewed as both the start and the foundation of all listening. If you aren't here then you can't take in what you or another are saying.

So presence became a thread running through the entire week. I would pause and remember -- presence. I'm listening and I want my heart to be open. Over and over again a gentle pause followed by remembering. Fortunately I remembered well this week but I could see that during a high stress time this could be more challenging.

I used birds as reminders to be present. The birds are very active in our mild weather so I have been watching and whistling at them. This led to enjoying natural beauty which is a doorway to presence for me. From there I opened to listening.

I enjoyed this week more than I suspected I would, perhaps this was a natural fit for me at this time. I hope you enjoyed something this week as well. xo

allowing -- deep listening

Thursdays was another day with almost no interaction with others. I never left the house due to a cough-y cold. I felt quite wretched at times both physically and emotionally-- I did not want to be sick.

So there was nothing for it but to practice allowing and listening with myself. Allowing my body to speak about it's discomfort without trying to change the subject. Allowing for the blankness of mind. Allowing for the lack of clarity as I tried to attend a work meeting from home.

Around the edges of the sickness I did feel a safety knowing that I could be with it and some ease. Which was quite nice for me but makes rather boring blogging. ah well, this too.

silence -- deep listening

If you celebrated Imbolc on Wednesday I hope it was a lovely one. We have unusually warm temps here with melting snow. It really does feel like we are halfway to spring.

Many of my imbolc hopes and plans got derailed by not feeling well. I had waves of feeling semi-normal but those usually occurred when I wasn't doing much. :) I also spent quite a bit of time with other people and I had guessed previously that my practice on Wednesday was going to centered around presence but when I reviewed my day I realized the main thread had been silence.

It may be that my sore throat made it a bit easier to be silent, to ease into that space. But I was very aware of it. Letting the silence be it's own thing that does not need to be filled. Enjoying the room that gave for the listening. Even when no one was speaking. I think I have a fever so I may not be very coherent so back to silence.

seeing goodness -- deep listening

Tuesday I woke up with a sore throat and a disinclination to talk. By the end of the day I had a killer headache. So while there were plenty of people to talk to over the course of the day it felt uncomfortable to open my mouth and my energy was low.

Once I realized this I knew my practice for the day would be seeing goodness. Sometimes in the beginning of the conversation, sometimes like a light being turned on in the middle of one, I paused and pictured the other person as a whole complete being walking their path. All the answers within them that they would ever need.

When I remembered to see others like this I felt relaxed. I dropped an artificial sense of responsibility. I did not need to tell them something, I could just remember their goodness. The side effect was that I liked people much more, even in the casual encounters in the office.

seeing innocence -- deep listening

I spent most of the day Monday working alone and at first I was at a loss as to how to practice listening on my own.

By lunchtime I noticed my large volume of internal chatter so I started listening to myself. I was judgmental and self-critical about how the past weekend had gone. It was loud. Most of the chatter was a critique of my failures over the weekend.

Once I heard what was happening I was able to turn my attention to remembering. I remembered I am doing the best that I can at any given moment and that all humans act unskillfully at times. It changed nothing to verbally beat myself up for being human. I didn't have to add harm to myself on top of my unskillful behavior. I could extend caring towards myself as I listened.

With this in my awareness there was a sense of relief and release. The rest of the day was much quieter and peaceful. Thankfully.

wonder-deep listening

As I practiced my deep listening on Sunday the quality of wonder moved forward.

I was in several gatherings with very talkative people. Sometimes when that happens I find myself responding by talking a lot as well.

This time I listened and when possible responses came up I brought my attention back to the speaker until the end of the sentence or story. If my response or question was still something I wanted to say at that time I did so. I felt free to not chatter in return.

Something about waiting to speak about things I was really wondering about made the conversation more spacious. I felt more relaxed afterwards as well. It seemed to bypass the conversation headache that I sometimes get after that type of gathering.

It's a tiny practice but interesting stuff is popping up.

awareness-deep listening

Meetings and family doings today gave me plenty of opportunities to listen to others and the quality that came forward was Awareness.

As I listened to many people relate stories and information I gently returned my awareness to what they were saying when it wandered off.

Where did wander? Sometimes I found myself lost in thought about what I should say when my turn came. Sometimes I was arranging my remarks in my head, trying to remember details I wanted to communicate. Each time I noticed, I let my inner dialogue fade and focused on what the other person was saying.

After the meeting I felt I had really absorbed what people were saying. Also I noticed when my time came for speaking I spoke with ease and clarity. There was comfort.

Later when I spent time with my family it was difficult to keep my focus. It was dinner time and I was hungry. I found it challenging to keep my attention on the speaker when my mind was trying to plan out dinner. Apparently my empty tummy is pretty loud.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow and dinner was delicious.