Autumn Anniversaries

This week is an important one to me. My church wedding anniversary is on October 6th and my Canadian wedding anniversary is today on the 12th.

Most years I remember our anniversaries on the blog by celebrating some aspect of my relationship or memories but this year it feels as if over half of the country is helping us celebrate.

In fact the article I linked to above is not up to date, Idaho and North Carolina started marriages yesterday. In total ten states. Ten! Ten more states where same sex couples can get married and it all happened this week. 

When my wife asked me if I wanted anything for our anniversary this year I told her not to bother. It's been a wonderful week and I feel so blessed. I hope the joy keeps going out in ever-widening circles.

running report week 7 and Argentina

Week 7 was interesting.

Two of my 25 minute runs were fine. But the middle run showed me how little my mind and body communicate.

When I did my first 25 minute run in week 6, my brain was amazed that my body could do it. So for week 7 mentally I was comfortable, it was more 25 minute runs. So I was surprised that during my second run of the week that I dropped into a walk without any conscious thought after 15 minutes. My body just took the break. I went back into my jog after a minute or so but soon I dropped into another walk, this time I walked 3 minutes or so until my body really felt like moving again.

In spite of feeling fine in my head, my body only ran 21 minutes or so. It showed me again how different my head space can be from my physical space.

My end run for week 7 which I did this morning was nice. Body and head space were aligned. Weather at 7 am pretty pleasant. Bugs not too bad. I do miss the autumn breezes though, we have had a lot of calm, buggy weather this summer.

My ankle was feeling much better than earlier in the month. All my runs were outside so I am still not sure how far I am going. 2+ miles for sure. Hopefully I'll make it to the track for my Wednesday lunch break and get a good idea how far I am running.

Here's to a great week 8, and my attempt at a 5K in less than 2 weeks. I guess it will depend on the weather and my body how far I make it running that day. It will be something new. Best wishes to everyone's summer projects.

Not running related-- I noticed this blog had it's first visitor from Argentina, and that reminded me to express my pleasure and delight at the July 22 legalization of marriage for all adults in that country. Good to have wonderful news to celebrate. Did you see the ad?

the second second one

Last week I went on a bit about my sweetie, which I feel is all but expected when celebrating an anniversary. Today is the second anniversary of our second wedding. On October 12, in Victoria BC, Canada we were married in a lovely garden by a public officiant who just happened to be a Unitarian minister.

It's hard for me to describe what a big deal this was. If you currently live in a country where you have always had the right to marry the person you love you may not get it. We went to the government 'stat' building and bought a license, we have a wedding license from the province of British Columbia, we are just plain old married up in Canada. It is just amazing to be treated normally sometimes. I remember it so lovingly. How the B&B owners attended. How our amazing witnesses, 'friends of friends', came with flowers and gifts to celebrate with 2 strangers getting married in their country. How the sun shown in the garden. How simple it was. How my wife looked signing the doument. How we had the most basic ceremony words at this wedding:

"In the presence of these witnesses I now take you to be my wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse,for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, in sorrow or in joy, to love and to cherish as long as we both shall live."

I still cry thinking about it. It does make a difference.

I am full of gratitude that I got to experience this and I pray that in my lifetime I will have a third wedding in my own country where I am a tax paying citizen. *sigh*

Run away

My fiancée turned to me and said ‘we could elope’. I smiled. My niece warned ‘you won’t get your deposits back.’ Ah, now there is a reason not to elope… the money loss.

Wedding planning is both stressful and a big job. At times I have felt completely overwhelmed, disconnected from the rest of my life and cranky. My therapist said months ago that weddings bring out both the best and worst in people, and that is certainly true. It is definitely bringing out the best in me, and probably the worst as well when it comes to fears and internalized homophobia and taking some things way too personally and needing to take good care of myself.

It is something I think I will only do once in my life. I listen wonderingly to people who plan multiple weddings and nod in agreement with people who say ‘never again, once is enough’.

All in all though, here I am almost done and amazed with the whole process. It unfolded in some ways just as I thought. Some things came together with amazing synchronicity. Some people who I never thought of helped us in amazing ways, some people who I was counting on totally melted down to puddles. My fiancée and I went through a gamut of emotions and still are. But we are almost there and we are getting married. Sometimes it is like riding a runaway horse. It is awesome!

pork is for...guests?

Pork. yep that is what we are planning on serving at our dinner-dance.

It has gotten a few quirked eyebrows. We are planning a vegetarian entree for those who don't eat meat or perhaps don't eat pork for religious reasons.

How did we arrive at pork? We so didn't want to serve chicken, especially since our favorite Indian chicken dish will probably be the food highlight of the rehearsal dinner. [for us at least] We didn't want to do seafood, too many people seem to dislike it. We seriously considered Beef Bourguignonne but our caterer's pork recipes have us salivating when we read them. So I think we are going for it, we are serving pork at our wedding. Look at this description and tell me if you could have resisted...

Pork Tenderloin Medallions with Dried Cherry-Port Sauce and Blue Cheese-Pine Nut Topping

Mmmmm. Should be tasty and different. Because if there is one thing a wedding with 2 brides needs is something to make it stand out. LOL

Hopefully in my lifetime a wedding with 2 brides won't make a wedding alternative at all.

Telling friends and family--looking back

A fun part of being engaged was telling people. Although it wasn't all easy sometimes I felt very shy and sometimes vulnerable telling people. It is such a personal special thing, and of course you can't control how other people will react. You have to open to the possibility of pain.

Some people very close to us seemed to need time to get adjusted just to the idea. I did my best to let go and give them space. To not take things personally. The results have been wonderful.

I took my best friend out to dinner the next day to tell her and ask her to be my attendant. I was so happy to share that with her. She is the most wonderful friend. She is the most detailed, organized person I know and she has never been a bridesmaid before. She takes it quite seriously.

My sisters I had to phone as they live across the country. One didn't get my voice mail for 3 days while she was traveling for work and I started to worry that she disapproved for some reason. I love how happy my sisters are for me. I also laughed over their different personalities which their responses demonstrate.

My eldest sister after exclamations and congratulations asked 'will there be a shower?' My other older sister exclaimed in delight for me, apologized for calling from an airport and asked 'how did she propose?' There in a nutshell are my sisters. They are wonderful and different from each other. One more practical, she wants to get any parties on her calendar. The other more interested in the emotional part. They are such fun. I am very lucky.

I told other friends personally if I saw them and also sent out a lot of emails announcing it. It was so touching to receive so much heartfelt love and approval.

I bet I am forgetting details of the first few weeks. Too bad I didn't think of blogging earlier.
I talked with my therapist about feeling shy. Shy about announcing it to people, shy of the attention now and in the future. He laughed and told me to get used to it. He's right. It does take a bit of time to get used to it though.

We also drafted an announcement for the church newsletter. I checked the schedule and got it in to the correct person. That was an exciting bit of making it feel real. Even more exciting seeing it in the newsletter in mid-February. I was surprised a few times when I got congratulations unexpectedly -they had seen the announcement.