up a wall

word count = 34034

Nanowrimo is going great, I am certainly on pace for the 50K. But I am only averaging 2K words a day and I need to do more if that first draft is going to get done.

Part of writing is sitting or standing still a lot. Too much for my body and I have been getting a lot of leg cramps from it. I thought that I had been vigilant about exercising but no enough to counteract the increased sitting, I'm still having pain.

So the past couple days I have been trying to do my meditation with my feet up the wall, it's helping but it is hard sometimes to stop writing.

Can moderation and a first draft in a month co-exist together?

new yoga thing [for me]

Yesterday I had a yogic revelation.
There is a yoga class I enjoy at 8am at my gym. But yesterday, it was about -20F at 6:45 in the morning, and to be honest I didn't want to get out of bed. But if I wanted to go to the class I needed to get up and attempt to start my car and let it warm up if it started...in fact the chat with myself went like this.

me1: 'I really don't want to go out there.'
me2: 'Understandable, but I really think I need the yoga today.'
me1: 'but it's just too cold, don't make me go. besides the gym will be so crowded by all the new resolution people.'
me2: 'I am not going to use the word 'should' but yoga is good for me. and mostly I like it.'
me1: 'true, but I also need rest and recovery and do you know how cold it is out there....?'

and seriously it is silly how long you can talk to yourself when you are barely awake, then suddenly I had a brainstorm, or maybe a third part of me just woke up from all the chattering.

me3: 'you know you can do yoga at home this morning, you don't need to go anywhere to do it.'
me1: '! yeah, I don't have to go out in the cold right now, and I can snuggle in bed an extra half hour.'
me2: 'right on, I can still do yoga.'

ok quit that sniggering over there, I can hear you over the internet. If you are wonder why it took me so long to remember something as simple as I can do yoga at home well, I don't blame you, I am wondering the same thing. I mean I have occasionally done yoga at home at other times. But seriously at 6:45 am yesterday it seemed like the most brilliant realization ever.

And the yoga was fabulous. Already I am feeling better about exercise and January.

Babies--you can only prepare so much

One of the big changes this week was that my lead's baby was born 2/21. A healthy, happy baby is always a great thing for the world. The second Kat born this year [of which I am aware].

We all knew the baby was coming of course. I believe my lead first mentioned it last August or so. We had plenty of time to prepare. My lead's pregnancy seemed to go normally, we all knew that the baby was due the end of Feb or first week of Mar. We were informed and ready!

Ha. It just goes to show that no matter how much you plan you cannot predict the future. I honestly don't think we could have done more ahead of time. We didn't fail. It just seems that until that person is actually gone you don't realize what is really going to come up when they are gone. The pattern doesn't change until the piece is gone and the pattern...ok you know what I mean.

This became one of the many challenges of the past week. Things came up. A capable person's work was now being divided among many and new questions, new procedures lots of new started. It made me pause.

Why are we so afraid of change? Is it really that bad? Why do we dislike getting out of our comfort zones when it seems to be so good for us to learn new things? More personally, is yoga helping me have a calm mind when stress erupts? Is it any one's job, much less mine, to hold people accountable? Does it take more strength to bend?

Really, what will make me happier with this life? I'm thinking bending not rigidity. The kicker: How can I implement this?

Join me if you like for this social science experiment: More qi gong. Tune in and see how it went. Try and see if you can be less rigid around your own challenge if you want. Peace out

An Issue of Knitting

I recently cast on a '5 hour baby sweater' for a workmate whose baby is coming any minute. I knew it would probably take me longer than 5 hours but it would be quick enough. These are done on US 10.5 needles. I was using a double strand of sport weight yarn. [past tense indicating spoiler[

By the 6th row my hands were hurting, left more than right. I switch between continental and english styles of knitting, didn't seem to make a difference what style I was using. I was reminded of the bulky weight simple scarf I cast on last October when we had our weekend away. My hands started hurting then too, but then we came back to all the holiday hoopla and I promptly forgot all about it.

Within a 24 hour period I only did 12 rows and my hands were killing me, in fact my left thumb tingled for hours afterwards after quitting. Sunday I pulled it all out. I am totally bummed. First I have to let go of the idea of getting a sweater done for her. If I can't do it the quick and easy way it's just not going to happen. Second, I bought specific sale yarn in a color I never use [sage green] just for this project. I feel bad about 'wasting' the money. Third, why on earth do my hands hurt so much from trying to knit with bulky yarn?! Fourth, why do I feel bad about waste, when I had pure intentions and heck I cannot know the future. Fifth, I hate it when I am hard on myself, you know for being human.

I wasn't having this knit issue in 2007. I have a charity shawl on 13US needles that I work on occasionally, no problem. Heck I knitted about a dozen bulky novelty yarn scarves as favors for my wedding shower. My body has just changed. *sigh*

What else happened today? I had a 3 Novocaine shot visit to the dentist. Steady decluttering of CDs. Toseed some old make up which may not count as decluttering since I treated myself to some of my new favorite eye shadow. Still can't believe I have not only fallen in love with an eye shadow but I blog about it.

I had a great, yet surreal yoga class this evening [probably due to said novocaine]. I have managed to journal the past 2 days and it feels great. I am feeling a bit hopeful that since change will happen perhaps it will include me creating some patterns I earnestly desire. We'll see.

Is it really only Tuesday?

what happened to Tuesday?

Really. I mean I wasn't sick or anything. Granted work is fiendishly busy and yoga started up after the holiday break but what happened to the day?

I try to be aware of my life as I am living it. Ok sure this is a huge goal which I fail at all the time, but yesterday just seemed to slip by. huh. I hope this doesn't mean that I am possessed by Voldemort or anything.

Yoga was excellent. [It always seems that way afterwards, funny huh?] Of course when I was trying to sink into warrior II and my one leg was shaking so hard, well it's probably a good thing no one asked me 'should I try yoga' during that time.

It may have something to do with the extreme cold interfering with normal brain function as I know it. Please note I am not whining about the -6 F high we are expecting today. No one is forcing me to live in MN, and I do like winter. Also my trusty volvo is still starting so that's excellent. It is weird though to put on 2 shirts, a sweater, lined wool pants and long underwear to go work in an office. It sounds like 20's are coming this weekend so hopefully the xcountry skiing will happen.

I guess there is stuff on my mind. We are thinking about buying a cabin up north. I am feeling conflicted and it's taking up lots of mental real estate right now.

Pro:
I love spending time on water. I love going someplace quiet and alone to re energize.
I lived on a farm for 4 years and there is stuff I love about the country.
Who was it who said 'buy real estate, they aren't making any more of it'?
This is a buyer's market for sure. I feel confident it is a good investment.
There are lots of good buys within 80 miles.
All weather cabins can be used all year round.

Cons:
What if it is noisy there when I want quiet and peace?
There are frequently concerts and such on the weekends that I love to do in the city.
Can we still garden successfully if we are away a lot in the summer?
I am from Pittsburgh, I did not grow up where weekend lake cabins were the norm, how much would we actually use it?
I'm not clear about all the various monetary costs to cabin life. Could be tons I am not aware of...
I lived on a farm for 4 years and there is stuff I hate about the country.

The few people I know who have a cabin grew up with one. I wish I knew someone who didn't grow up with one but has one now. Surely there must be a forum somewhere for this?

I hope everyone is a toasty as they need to be. Misspelled toasty as 'toady' at first. Feel free to be toady if you want!