the wedding weekend, saturday pt IV

-we did a receiving line with just the 2 of us then and there at the bottom of the steps going into the dining hall, worked great.
-we had some people who could only come for the ceremony
-we greeted everyone who wanted to be greeted
-apparently the cool IKEA candles we bought are faulty, most won’t stay lit, bummer.
-played salsa and other upbeat latin music during cocktail hour, HN did all digital music
-my attendants stood behind us with drinks [water and cider] available, and we needed them with all the talking-appetizers are yummy, we visited tables separately during this time.
-we both remember to thank the servers for their hard work when we see them
-I should have reminded attendants to get guests to sign guest pages.
-I basically stuck to water, I think I had barely one glass of champagne the whole night
-numerous hair compliments, people seemed to really like it, made my own hair vine in desperation.
-I change into comfortable un-bridal shoes. My sister scolds me I hope teasingly, 'you’re suppose to be beautiful not comfortable'
-the cookie table looks great and everyone seems to be munching to this transplanted Pittsburgh custom
-corner of room with ‘guestbook’ scrapbook pages is very dark, expensive church supervisor did not know how to turn the lights on in that area.
-we go and admire the cake, it looks beautiful.
-the cake toppers of a fish and pony generate a lot of useful chit chat.
-my favorite, I think from one of my sisters, was “why do you have a shark and an a$$ on your cake”
-dinner starts at 6:00, European lounge music played
-disposable cameras never got opened & put on tables [I am hoping I can return them]
- the pork is great, the polenta, which I usually dislike, is amazing, salad and sides yummy
-I actually remember eating and the food, and I ate slowly so that we are not jumping up done when other tables are still being waited on.
-the moh and HN toast us, it is lovely.
-sweetie had said she would prepare our thank you but she either froze or forgot…so we just stood and said thanks, I hope all knew it was heartfelt
-the band and singer have shown up and are getting ready in the library, I ask singer to point out guest book location and to invite others to dance with us during our first dance and fathers dance per spouse's urgent request
-it’s getting close to 7, we visit more tables, band starts about 7:15, I change back into dance shoes
-we dance to “At Last”, my sweetie hates dancing when so many are watching but people do join us as we asked
-we dance with our dads to “what a wonderful world”
-people are dancing and chatting and eating and its all very nice.
-we get so many compliments on the band and they were wonderful. They played a lot of classic nightclub jazz and big band. [piano, sax/clarinet, bass, drums and vocalist]
-a couple of ill or elderly people come up to say good bye they need to leave early.
-about 7:30 my now MIL comes up in panic. ‘when are you cutting the cake’
-I tell her during the first band break in about 20 minutes, she is very agitated ‘people are leaving’
-I guess I am heartless because I am thinking ‘then they don’t get cake… more cake for us’
-‘we want to leave now but we want cake’ she says ‘wtf?’ I think
-my fog is still hovering, so I just smile and say we’ll do it as soon as we can, I just want her to go away
-I try to think and talk with sweetie. I suggest we wait until the band plays another instrumental then we cut the cake, she agrees.
-I go inform the catering staff and photographer of the change
-we do the cake cutting while the band is playing, it’s a shame, I had people exclaiming in disappointment “we didn’t get to see you cut they cake” so I tell them why….sigh
-The servers forget to serve us cake, and when we go up to get some one flavor is already gone. Totally bums me out but I hear it was yummy.
-singer of band announces about guest book, more talking and dancing and fun is had.
-break music is fun electronic dance stuff
-at about 8:30 my one sister starts to make noises about leaving, which confuses me since it is so early, she knows the reception is going to be done by 10:30, we had planned an early night
-I still don’t know what was going on except one of my bil was ill, but basically my whole side of the family all leave in a mass exodus by 9…it was so strange
-except our parents are very elderly, we aren’t too surprised that they needed to leave
-all I have left is a nephew, one nephew returns later, I don’t realize it at the time but my niece is still in building with her husband
-they say they’ll name the baby after us if it happens
-we are down to about 3 tables and having a nice little unplanned “after party” with a live band
-we end about 10:20, clean up starts, a close friend is supervising the room being reset.
-we cart home gifts, nephews and niece cart home other stuff
-we get home at 10:45 and it is still 85 degrees outside, unreal for October.
-we change and chill, open all the lovely cards to help us come down…and get to bed
-still not packed for honeymoon, but we are married! And it was a great wedding.
-off for Canada in 12 hours.

the wedding weekend: saturday pt III

-thoughts of ‘why did I think this was such a good idea’ and ‘I’m going to get up in front of all these people and do what?’ race at alarming speed through my head
-I want to get married certainly but the way we chose to do it, eek!!
-I somehow make it through the crushing stage fright
-DF is unaffected herself and is supportive.
-HU lets us know she going to give the nod for the prelude solo “for the beauty of the earth” aka ‘kickoff song’
-It's silly but I hadn’t realized when you are the one that is getting married you don’t get to hear the prelude music [DF picked ceremony music] or see the candle-lighting DF’s brothers did.
-DF’s old friend who is a pianist sounds wonderful!
-girls set off to “prelude in C major” they all looked awesome
-we peek a bit through windows into sanctuary, can’t really see, no center aisle
-then to “Jesu, Joy of man’s desiring” DF goes off with parents, then I go with mine down the other aisle.
-now I am feeling happy and just a bit nervous
-we are standing there with minister who look motherly and calm, and I think ‘oh yeah, people need to see this, this is why we are doing it’
-after welcome stuff we all sit down at back of stage for readings, homily and first solo
-DF whispers that she is scared and is sweating a lot, we hold hands
-someone forgot to put tissues on the pews for us.
-after readings DF tries to signal wedding party to stand and tries to stand herself.
-I’m holding her fast, she is a bit irritated then relieved when she remembers there is still homily and song to go
-DF’s father who is a retired Baptist minister gives great homily
-my niece also FG sings beautifully “Never-ending Road”
-now we get up, with HN behind me to hand it off I get DF a tissue
-we get married, vows, ring and all go well.
-second solo starts “Northern Sky”, we do sand ritual to side.
-there is a lot of giggling because the sand is not pouring due to the humidity it is very clumping and is like trying to pour old fashioned ketchup
-pianist & soloist are delighted everyone is laughing at us because they were never happy with how they did the song [everyone thinks they sounded wonderful]
-closing blessings and all, moh moves to piano to play recessional
-She plays wonderfully and after 20 seconds of “ode to joy” she slides musically into “I feel the earth move”
-everyone in the right age group laughs and wedding party leaves
-HU’s highly trained team [our nephews] move into action
-we run downstairs to dining hall to greet our guests and requests DF’s nephew to keep everyone out so that I can pee
-we are so happy, we did it and now can party! And I get to pee.
-everything was great and the hall looks wonderful.

the wedding weekend, saturday part II

Part II

-I do my best to pass out corsages and gifts and thank yous. [why on earth I didn’t give that job to someone else I can’t think now]
-photographer is taking pictures of dressing and decorations etc…
-FG delivers food from coop, she is late [and not dressed] because coop had given away part of our sandwhich order.
-although I don’t realize it until the next day that my mother is the only one who didn’t get her flowers, I’m amazed that no one else noticed. [I’m still bummed about that]

-DF arrives 1:30 or so to finish getting ready, very upset she is so late, poor sweetie
-her make up artist totally flaked out on her
-I am so relieved HN and I did makeup appt. on Wednesday and recreated it ourselves
-DF’s moh and mom arrive, they aren’t dressed, the flakey make up artist affected them as well.
-I explain to sweetie that her family cannot dress in the brides room due to lack of space + soaring heat suggest alternatives none of which are really any better
-me and my HN exit brides room so that moh can help DF dress
-since most of us are ready, my ‘side’ starts taking pictures
-it’s way too hot in room for moh, she leaves room to try to find a cool place in the church
–the steamer I brought comes in handy, moh dress is horribly creased
-I help my sweetie dress, she looks wonderful

-HU has found her true calling and is organizing her ushers into a well oiled machine
-some kind of Mexican stand off is going on between relatives on both sides over the lack of space to dress in, my sweetie feels badly, I realize there is nothing I can do and my fog is still holding
-no blood was spilt by anyone in said standoff, eventually everyone is dressed.
-sweetie asks me to fix her moh’s hair. The blood of several generations of barbers runs in my veins so I go for it and it looks nice.
-group shoe picture taken…
-more and more pictues are being taken, snacks being eaten by those who need it and I am putting down large amounts of water.
-we get lots of couple pictures taken [I can’t wait to see them!]
-DF’s ‘side’ does pictures
-HU tells me not to panic, cake has not arrived. my fog is holding, I ask the time 3:10
-I explain the cake is only 10 minutes late and give the baker’s phone number.

-everything gets pictured and done, cake arrives, I eat half a sandwich and drink water
-we skip taking couple pictures outside in garden in soaring heat
-I apologize to photographer, who is also a friend, for all the lateness and confusion, she assures me it is usually much worse
-alone in room, about 10 minutes to go major stage fright kicks in, I am exploring windows for more air while almost in a panic attack

the wedding weekend - saturday, part I

Different format…paragraphs are confusing me right now…

-I wake up at 8 am with sweetie[maybe got 6 hours of sleep]
-breakfast promised to me by houseguests not happening, they are sleeping in
-I grab some yogurt or something
-DF and I go to chiropractor who surprises us with a lovely gift.

-When back home I realize the cake vendor never sent me final amount for payment as promised
-it pours and pours down rain
-I call cake vendor and get amount
-I make out several last minute checks for people who need to get paid that day
-head ninja [=HN] comes to be a help and is as always
-HN takes a picture of each bride in kitchen before we are off
-I make several mistakes on checks, should not try to do this day of wedding.
-DF leaves for her hair appt.

-I spend time I don’t have giving houseguests directions to various places, I am totally spacey, feel fortunate I didn’t accidentally direct them to St Louis.
-gather stuff for church, HN is a goddess-send, nothing forgotten
-rain has stopped, it’s incredibly humid and heating up
-leave door unlocked for Head usher and other ninja so that they can use house to dress in if they want.

-I am 10 minutes late for hairdresser, I apologize profusely
-HN paints her nails while my hair gets done
-HU calls and says house is locked. [DF locked it between her hair and makeup appts]
-flower girl’s [she is 26] hair is done, so she goes to unlock house and do her thing, see her at church at 2.
-hair is fabulous, and given to me as a gift by my stylist, he assures me that it will stand up to the soaring heat and humidity which is totally freakish for Minneapolis in October.

-arrive at church at 12:30, only half hour later than my planned schedule
-met by church person I am paying 25.00 an hour for 10+ hours to ‘oversee’ the building aka play computer games in the office.
-the church is fairly cool at least in the dining hall and in the sanctuary, the ‘brides room’ and the rest of building is hot and stuffy, I think to myself ‘good thing I warned people [except DF] to dress elsewhere’.
-my sister who promised to be the ‘day of coordinator’ and who has tons of experience is not there even though she was due to arrive at noon.

-church person tells me my ‘flower lady’ is up in sanctuary. I stare blankly probably with mouth open.
-then I realize it’s my florist making her delivery--duh
-I go into see florist who greets me with ‘do you have any leaves?’ more blank staring on my part, before I answer that unfortunately I do not.
-florist nods at pew bows my sister made ‘these are much too blue, they need leaves. I’ll get some’ and she strides decisively out to the street to collect leaves to insert in pew arrangements.
-I enjoy a refreshing giggle fit about leaves and the flowers all look wonderful

-photographer arrives and starts setting up
-My HN and I do our make up and get dressed, yep we are gorgeous.
-we request a fan for extremely hot bride’s room, the expensive church building supervisor cannot find one anywhere
-HU and ninja arrive not dressed and get dressed up on third floor, I’m surprised they didn’t melt

-yes it is 87 degrees and not raining.

- I realize that people being crabby or worried or late is just not bothering me, I let go
-My sisters arrive hour+ late and apologize, I'm in daze, neither one is dressed.
-it’s 1:00, df has not arrived so we can't start taking pictures
-I’m in a pleasant fog and nothing is bothering me much.

the wedding weekend - Friday

My sweetie had to work this day as well. I got up early, picked my sister up from her hotel and we went to the florist to pick up the green garland for decorating. I got to see my bouquet and it was beautiful. Picked up my other ninja who is car-less. A quick run to the store to pick up a few things and umbrellas for out of town people because it is still raining. These umbrellas were forgotten in the trunk by sister who was going to deliver them. Oh well. Her car was loaded up with stuff to take to church at 2 pm for decorating, I dropped her back at hotel.

Later that morning I picked up at airport 2 of my oldest friends from Pennsylvania. Planes are running late. We all grabbed some lunch and I tried to get organized and loaded all the rest of the stuff and 7 people into 2 cars to go to church. We were crammed to the gills. Luckily the church is only 2.5 miles away, I started laughing when I realized that the flowers from the farmer’s market were cooling on the garage floor, but even if we had remembered them we wouldn’t have had the room. We met the head ninja and usher at church, everyone unloaded and I made a quick trip with HU to transport the flowers.

Eventually everyone including my sisters arrived at church and we started decorating. We were starting hours late because the church changed the time I was allowed in at the last minute, instead of starting at 11 am we couldn’t get in until 2 pm.. After lots of work, the place is looking lovely. Everyone has an opinion but people are getting along quite well. I find out way after the fact that my sweetie was freaked out and had stopped at her parents place first because her father had been having arm pains for a couple of days and she was afraid he was having an attack [but he wouldn't get checked out]. She is relieved when her father arrives feeling fine for rehearsal. Her mother doesn’t make it, and neither does one of the bridesmaids.

By a bit after 5pm everyone not in the wedding had left, and we went up to rehearse. One of my dear nephews stayed down in the hall cleaning silverware. We were at our grubbiest. The rehearsal goes fine. I got a bit testy when people tried to mess with the processional order which was decided weeks ago and I so didn’t want to discuss it over again.

Rehearsal over we all scattered to change for dinner at sil’s house. We arrived late ourselves after changing and picking up people. Many planes arrived late, my family waited for planes to land and so arrived to rehearsal very late. My parents [both in their 80’s] were exhausted from decorating and skipped the dinner entirely.

It was a very nice dinner but we realized coming home that after the church messed up all the timing of everything we should have just canceled the rehearsal dinner, it would have been so much easier on everyone. Oh well, next time we get married we’ll know better. We realized then and there we wouldn’t be meeting anyone for brunch on Sunday morning since that was the only time we had to pack for our honeymoon. We stayed up writing notes to all the special helpers to go with the gifts we bought them.

the wedding weekend -thursday

Here is the first post on the last days of my engagement.

I was extremely short on sleep this day 10/4 because late Wednesday night that I found a huge error on the program [I left out a major wedding party name] and ended up having to reprint 80 pages. This went slowly, since I was printing at high quality on a photo printer. Some there thought I was wacko for correcting the error at all, I could see their point, I calmly listened to their advice but explained that it was very important to me that those who were putting themselves out for us that day be in the program [or what is the point of programs]. I’m glad I caught the error then not Friday night, but I feel bad about the paper wastage. I did my best to not feel jealous of houseguests who were getting way more sleep than I was. It rained quite a bit that week. My mum assured me on 10/2 that it would not rain during the wedding 10/6, I am not sure why I cared so much about the weather. We were not getting married outside. My sweetie had to work all wedding week until about 3:30 on Friday. She did her best to help and run errands in the little time she had that week.

I got up early Thursday to pick up flowers for centerpieces and other decorations from the farmer’s market. Mum [florist in residence] came along to inspect, Dad to help carry. Daisy/mums, snaps, ivy, alstromeria and hypericum berries. We were only getting the 6 bouquets, the corsages for family and one big vase from the florist.
I ran over to the paper depot to get another pen for my chief ninja who wanted plum for the printing on the table designators. I did some work from home [paid work]

My eldest sister flew in late that morning to help. My super niece had already been in town for over a week helping and visiting, the head ninja showed up to help as well. My sister dived right in to updating the pew bows with berries and copper ribbon. My mom makes all the boutonnières using copper mums from the plant we bought weeks ago.

There was a lot of stamping that I think was continuing on that day, not by me. There were many leaves stamped on programs, cookie bags, escort cards etc, and the table designators were all leaves. “aspen table, birch table, beech table”. The afternoon is kind of a blur, but I did make it to yoga early that evening which was just what I needed. Then the evening is kind of a blur too, I know I was doing a lot of printing of menus, maps and so forth. And decided gift bags = nice idea that wasn’t going to happen. Let it go…

I know that evening I stamped the 20 drink/appetizer/menu cards myself. It was something I really wanted to do since everyone else had fun stamping while I was minding the printer and I wanted to give it a whirl. They did turn out lovely. Basically all crafty stuff was done by Thursday bed. No honeymoon packing got done. I got to bed late, no one could understand why I wasn’t getting more sleep and really I don’t get it either. Everyone else got more. It was like I wasn’t able to articulate the help I needed due to… stress or something.

Flowery Conditions

My fiancée and I love flowers! And today we picked up the flowers we ordered for the centerpieces. My mother who worked as a florist for years is doing the arrangements. It should be lovely and simple and fun. They are all coppery yellow, and red and creams with plum specks. There is ivy and garland. Tomorrow, I’ll see the bouquets, and I can’t wait. The boutonnières are wonderful copper mums.

All the family is coming in, everyone is talking and everything seems very loud. Most stuff is done and the few things that aren’t probably aren’t that important.. I know what I am wearing to get married in Canada.

The forecast for the weather on Saturday is improving. My mom said days ago, don't worry it won't rain. I hope she is right, I scan the weather sites anxiously at least once a day like that will somehow change things.

There is such an outpouring of love with a tiny bit of crankiness and bossiness all around. It’s a fabulous experience. There are all kinds of secret surprises hovering in the background. I just need to try to get more sleep to enjoy it. My yoga and chi gong do help. So I am off to do just that!