secret shoes

I started this blog in 2007 and many things have changed since then. One thing has not, I still don't like shopping for shoes.

Another thing that hasn't changed; I must own and wear shoes. 

At times I have been given shoes. That was nice. I got shoes and yet there was no shopping, decision making or paying. I have found retail high end comfortable shoes that I like, but they wear out and have to be replaced like any other shoe. Some [Naot I am looking at you] wear out too fast for the price in my opinion.

So what saves me time and money and aggravation? I buy shoes second-hand. This appalls many people but it works great for me for the reasons below. Feel free to ignore my reasons, especially if we wear the same size shoe!

-Many people won't buy shoes secondhand so there is a good selection.
-Shoes in consignment stores are almost always high quality.
-Many people love to buy shoe then don't wear them then give them away/sell them.
-It is very clear from looking at the shoe how much it has been worn. Flip them over and look at the sole for wear patterns. They shouldn't smell, they should be clean. Usually they look 'new' or at least unworn. 
-Buy leather, it lasts. If you are vegan or don't like leather for some other reason I suggest not buying shoes secondhand. [also "vegan leather" is plastic, do not buy plastic shoes second-hand]
-I can take a chance on shoes without sinking hundreds of dollars into them. If they 'work out' they are a fabulous value, if they are a fail then I haven't lost much.

My most recent shoe find: Dansko wedge sandals in olive for $9.50. Perfect in colour, fit and price. Currently 50% of my footwear was previously used, I am hoping to up the percentage going forward.

Here ends my shoe secret. peace xo

don't scare the shoes

If you have been reading this blog for awhile you know all about my hate-hate relationship with shoes and shoe shopping. For the past 18 months I have had good luck with my asics tennies, I know just what to buy for exercise. But shoes, especially summer shoes, I can't cope.

What you don't know is that perhaps my luck has turned. May be for good?!

Last January a friend mentioned that she had found great shoes on sale at a local chain, so I went shopping at the upscale expensive shop and they did have racks and racks of sale shoes, many in brands that I had never heard of or had deemed too expensive for me.

I remembered that not every shoe/brand fits every person when I tried on numerous dansko shoes all of which hurt me immediately. It was like Keenes all over again. But I did find 2 pairs of clogs on sale and I took a chance. One pair were an incredible win, although I just about passed out over the $80 sale price. These shoes may have changed my relationship with shoes.

They are so comfortable. The heels aren't like heels at all. I feel like I am walking barefoot [but warmer] and the removable cork foot bed = heaven. But still I wasn't convinced. I firmly believed in my bad shoe luck. So I hesitated to mention it.

Then in March while shopping for shoes for the ball, I found another pair of Naots on sale. Amazing. Totally different style and equally wonderful. And now after trying on several styles of summer shoes I am convinced. I can admit it publicly.

It seems that I have found 'my brand' of shoes. True an expensive brand but considering the shoes I have had to break up with over the years, if these last several years the price per wear will work for me. And I may get used to the price tag. Eventually. [probably not]

If these have a down side it is that shoe stores around here carry a limited selection of this brand so I need to do online shopping to find just what I want. Fortunately I don't expect shoe shopping to be easy or quick. I'm just relieved if the end purchase lives up to my expectations.

I don't want to scare the shoe luck away but so far so good.

shoe sense?

Well I really put it off as long as I could because I was dreading it but I went shoe shopping last week. My super strict 18 month old goddaughter made me.

Once again it was horrible. I never seem to see the shoes I want at the time, but the shoes I was looking for 6-10 months earlier are falling on my head. [way too late to do me any good] I walked around DSW, which plays great music by the way and found some nice shoes for work this autumn on sale but no summer sporty slip ons.

I then went to REI willing to spend and use my dividend. I did find a reasonable pair of sporty, cushy, flip flops which will be semi useful for camping and they only ended up costing $8 dollars.

I then realized that both my old Tevas and Keens fit my niece so I broke up with them good and sent them away with her. It feels great to not have those losers from last summer looking at me anymore.

Saturday, still desperate for sturdy, comfy shoes for camping I went to Savers with my wife. I don't know why I don't rely on her superpower more often. It's like I am Darren in Bewitched. Anyway I go to Savers with her, walk over to the shoe rack and there they are are; brown, sturdy, comfortable, sporty clogs, just what I wanted for camping. $7.99 seriously.

Even her super powers couldn't get me the right shorts, but brown yoga pants, $5, in my size, which I never see new anywhere. I just don't know how she does it but I am grateful and it might be months before I need to shoe shop again! [Although I noticed the soles of my black boots are cracking but I am in total denial]

Thankfully she only uses her powers for good.

You know I am much more serene about possibility of shoes not working out when I only spend $8 instead of $80.

some shoe success

So now a break from all this navel gazing intensity.

Don't speak too loudly, you may scare off the luck I am having with shoe shopping this late spring. As I reported awhile ago my shoes last summer sucked. As the weather heated up I knew I had to face the shopping and at least try to find some summer shoes/sandals.

Well it didn't go horribly wrong. I found some fun slip on heels. Wedges, not skinny, cork heels and brown cloth uppers. They are comfortable and fun for wearing at work or out. They are Italian and are so lightweight it is remarkable.

I also got some tan leather sling back flat sandals. These are fairly comfortable, though not as comfortable as they look, which is odd. The heels are actually more comfortable.

Then I found another pair of my preferred tennis shoes on sale, so I can alternate all summer with the running and other exercising and my shoes really have a chance to air out.

In another fit of shoe stubbornness I tried once again to wear my keens, and they just do not work for me. Again my 'heels' are more comfortable which bums me out I need some slip on sporty shoes, that I can wear while camping and tromping around with cush. Wish me luck, I so need it.

I also need to remember the definition of insanity. Attempting over and over to wear those keens is insane, I need to just admit it, recycle them and move on. [but I so want them to work, I need them] How do you break up with your shoes?

Feel free to make any recommendations.

shoe summer

So this summer I have been having shoe/feet problems of the like I have not experienced since I broke my ankle 20 years ago. Those who have read this blog for awhile might remember how I hate shoe shopping. Feel free to think I am weird. [like you need that permission]

I started the summer knowing I needed shoes badly, I especially wanted good shoes for India. Summer shoes are always more of a challenge for me, because I was shooting for sandals styles and most sandals are not suitable for inserts. However I was willing to spend money on good summer shoes, ok not $300 a pair but I was not going to look for sales and settle for less. I was ready to shop for shoes!

Seriously I did my best. And I bought 3 pairs. Merrill clogs, Clark dressy sandals, Teva sandals and Keen sport water sandals. Prices $68, $60, $40 and $98 I believe. See I did not go cheap. I have had good luck with Clarks and Tevas in the past, I have never heard a bad word about Keens [my chiropractor loves hers] and the Merrill clogs felt really good. It was all a big shoe lie.
My feet, especially my right heel, hurt almost constantly. [I have never had problems with my right heel before] And since I basically bought the shoes at the same time I had a hard time narrowing down the culprit. It was especially horrible in India, because guess which shoes I brought? And then I was sitting so much it was making everything worse, and then because I hurt I didn't want to move, and the lack of movement made other stuff worse and my heel ached all the time. You can probably see the vicious cycle.

I got home depressed about my shoes and feet. So I threw the clogs away, and went shoe shopping again. I was going to get something with lots of heel support that I could exercise in and well I just prayed that my shoe luck would turn.

Happily it looks like it has. I just happened to stumble on a sale at Nordstroms and I got a pair of ASICS gel-kinetics for $89 and they are working out pretty well. My heel is not getting any worse, it is certainly supported and I have spent long hours on my feet and still felt pretty good at the end of the day.

I was feeling a bit cocky about my shoe luck even. While I was on vacation, I pondered on what shoes I should get for work. I can't wear my tennies all the time. After mulling it over I came up with what I thought was the perfect solution. Short, brown, low heeled square toe boots with room to put in a good insert that gave me plenty of heel support. A great solution. Then last weekend I took the shoe goddess shopping with me for guidance. HA! The boots in my head do not apparently exist at this time at least not in the zillion of stores we went into, I may turn to Zappos online.

So was I too cocky about shoe luck turning? Are the Asics just a fluke? Do I bring all this bad shoe fortune on myself? Ah well. Wish me happy hunting.

the wedding weekend, saturday pt IV

-we did a receiving line with just the 2 of us then and there at the bottom of the steps going into the dining hall, worked great.
-we had some people who could only come for the ceremony
-we greeted everyone who wanted to be greeted
-apparently the cool IKEA candles we bought are faulty, most won’t stay lit, bummer.
-played salsa and other upbeat latin music during cocktail hour, HN did all digital music
-my attendants stood behind us with drinks [water and cider] available, and we needed them with all the talking-appetizers are yummy, we visited tables separately during this time.
-we both remember to thank the servers for their hard work when we see them
-I should have reminded attendants to get guests to sign guest pages.
-I basically stuck to water, I think I had barely one glass of champagne the whole night
-numerous hair compliments, people seemed to really like it, made my own hair vine in desperation.
-I change into comfortable un-bridal shoes. My sister scolds me I hope teasingly, 'you’re suppose to be beautiful not comfortable'
-the cookie table looks great and everyone seems to be munching to this transplanted Pittsburgh custom
-corner of room with ‘guestbook’ scrapbook pages is very dark, expensive church supervisor did not know how to turn the lights on in that area.
-we go and admire the cake, it looks beautiful.
-the cake toppers of a fish and pony generate a lot of useful chit chat.
-my favorite, I think from one of my sisters, was “why do you have a shark and an a$$ on your cake”
-dinner starts at 6:00, European lounge music played
-disposable cameras never got opened & put on tables [I am hoping I can return them]
- the pork is great, the polenta, which I usually dislike, is amazing, salad and sides yummy
-I actually remember eating and the food, and I ate slowly so that we are not jumping up done when other tables are still being waited on.
-the moh and HN toast us, it is lovely.
-sweetie had said she would prepare our thank you but she either froze or forgot…so we just stood and said thanks, I hope all knew it was heartfelt
-the band and singer have shown up and are getting ready in the library, I ask singer to point out guest book location and to invite others to dance with us during our first dance and fathers dance per spouse's urgent request
-it’s getting close to 7, we visit more tables, band starts about 7:15, I change back into dance shoes
-we dance to “At Last”, my sweetie hates dancing when so many are watching but people do join us as we asked
-we dance with our dads to “what a wonderful world”
-people are dancing and chatting and eating and its all very nice.
-we get so many compliments on the band and they were wonderful. They played a lot of classic nightclub jazz and big band. [piano, sax/clarinet, bass, drums and vocalist]
-a couple of ill or elderly people come up to say good bye they need to leave early.
-about 7:30 my now MIL comes up in panic. ‘when are you cutting the cake’
-I tell her during the first band break in about 20 minutes, she is very agitated ‘people are leaving’
-I guess I am heartless because I am thinking ‘then they don’t get cake… more cake for us’
-‘we want to leave now but we want cake’ she says ‘wtf?’ I think
-my fog is still hovering, so I just smile and say we’ll do it as soon as we can, I just want her to go away
-I try to think and talk with sweetie. I suggest we wait until the band plays another instrumental then we cut the cake, she agrees.
-I go inform the catering staff and photographer of the change
-we do the cake cutting while the band is playing, it’s a shame, I had people exclaiming in disappointment “we didn’t get to see you cut they cake” so I tell them why….sigh
-The servers forget to serve us cake, and when we go up to get some one flavor is already gone. Totally bums me out but I hear it was yummy.
-singer of band announces about guest book, more talking and dancing and fun is had.
-break music is fun electronic dance stuff
-at about 8:30 my one sister starts to make noises about leaving, which confuses me since it is so early, she knows the reception is going to be done by 10:30, we had planned an early night
-I still don’t know what was going on except one of my bil was ill, but basically my whole side of the family all leave in a mass exodus by 9…it was so strange
-except our parents are very elderly, we aren’t too surprised that they needed to leave
-all I have left is a nephew, one nephew returns later, I don’t realize it at the time but my niece is still in building with her husband
-they say they’ll name the baby after us if it happens
-we are down to about 3 tables and having a nice little unplanned “after party” with a live band
-we end about 10:20, clean up starts, a close friend is supervising the room being reset.
-we cart home gifts, nephews and niece cart home other stuff
-we get home at 10:45 and it is still 85 degrees outside, unreal for October.
-we change and chill, open all the lovely cards to help us come down…and get to bed
-still not packed for honeymoon, but we are married! And it was a great wedding.
-off for Canada in 12 hours.

songs and websites

Well now it's 3 months and counting. There is a lot still to do. Some things seem to take a lot longer than I would have guessed, not sure if this is our fault. Could we be more efficient? The 'countdown' clock says 91 days, that isn't much.

My niece understandably wants us to decide on the ceremony music so that she can learn the vocals, so we have been spending a lot of time pondering that. I tried to get suggestions from her, I was thinking maybe something she already knew might be perfect for us but she went mum and insisted we pick out what we wanted. Sweet and stressful all at the same time. We knew we wanted something joyful, loving. We really wanted something that we were familiar with, something that would be meaningful for us.

One thing we quickly realized is that when you are listening to songs for your wedding you judge then in a whole other way. My honey adores Bob Dylan, and he has lots of love songs but after some concentrated effort we couldn't find one that 'fit'. Or something. Other favorite musicians are Ferron http://www.ferrononline.com/ and Melissa Ferrick http://melissaferrick.com/ we love them but for the most part the they do not do happy love songs. And then there was the hunt for sheet music. We adore Kristen Hall's "wish I may" but as far as I can tell there is no sheet music available for it.

So our possible list dwindles. Right now we think it's going to be Nick Drake's "Northern Sky" and Loreena McKinnett's "Never-ending Road". Thanks IB and my master bridal ninja for the suggestions. Drake's songbook is on order and I have to call Quinlan Road to get the LM one. Hopefully it's all decided now.

Another thing I went back and forth on is a wedding website. Finally faced with the idea of mailing information packets to the 40 or so out of town guests we are planning on inviting or putting up one site and sending postcards. Guess which won? Then I proceeded to let go of the idea of lovingly crafting our website from scratch and went with a template. So that is almost done. If anyone has a burning desire to view it let me know and I'll send you the password.

Shoe update: after my tell-all shocking revelation you are probably wondering about my shoes... well I shopped and shopped. I have a witness even. I managed to get one pair of clark springers at DSW, which are both sandal and shoe like. I feel that I can now put off tennis shoe shopping until autumn. I also found a pair of plum strappy sandals with a nice square heel at the consignment shop for 4.50. The price was right but they are so strappy I am not sure I can handle them for the all day at the wedding, so that hunt will continue.

Errands done and the guest list grows

A bunch a little things got done. DF wrote a out a bunch of the save the dates. I was amazed that her printing can be readable if she wants. She thought of several people she wants to invite that weren't on the tentative list. It will be interesting to see how many people we end up with. 30 save-the-dates got mailed and more postcard stamps were bought. Total for the whole project still under $20. At least 10 addresses need to be gathered though.

We stopped in at Bloomingdales to look at flatware. We registered at Bloomingdales online because there are only 2 places to register for Villeroy & Boch Cellini china which we both love. Me especially. We found a stainless flatware that we both like, DF especially so we went for it. It is really pretty. Surprisingly it is also by Villeroy & Boch. Septfontaines Satin. I added it to our registry online tonight. We are also in need of linens, those that we have are on their way out, so we will probably register at Bed, Bath and Beyond for stuff like that. and maybe a Dyson... So that is good. I'll let my family know and if people ask then they'll hear about it. We will not be sending any information about registries in any mailing or invitations. We'll act pleasantly surprised and thrilled with gifts and everyone will get a handwritten thank you, darn it.

We stopped at DSW so that DF could try on the same shoes that I bought in her size. I had to laugh, she was walking around with one copper one and one pale gold [champagne] one too. She ended up buying both to try with her dress. I love the copper too so I understood her pain. When we got home it was obvious that the champagne ones just looked smashing with her dress. I wish I had an outfit that needed those copper ones.

Next we start on cakes. I hope I don't need to do any shopping for awhile now.