Word count: 60,698
Over 60k and still going. I feel pretty pumped that I got another 10,ooo words written in December considering all the other pressures and duties that the month brings.
2009 was an unhappy year for many people that I know. I certainly found it challenging in many ways mostly related to work and my trip to India. I experienced first hand the kind of patriarchy that I hope doesn't really exist in this country anymore [outside of a cult]. It was only for a month and I hated parts of the experience intensely. And yet I love so many of the people I met in India, and I am grateful for the new forms of compassion the trip helped me to develop.
Because of my India trip I got my first introduction to Amsterdam which is playing a big part in my dreams right now.
My work life showed me another aspect of how important self care is, and I am recommitting myself to another year of increased self care.
There was a lot of grief and fear wrapped up in 2009. I miss my dear dog and I watch my parents moving into their mid 80's and sigh about the cycle of which I am part. My mother has awed me this year and showed me yet again that change can happen no matter how old you are.
Two big gifts of 2009 were resiliency training and nanowrimo. For them I send a sincere thanks and namaste to Henry Emmons and Chris Baty. Not only have they changed my life through their work but I truly believe that they have changed the world. To me they are Bodhisattvas of freedom.
Wrapping up glad to be in 2010 feeling stronger and full of possibilities. Happy 2010 all.
Let's see what happens!
Showing posts with label india. Show all posts
Showing posts with label india. Show all posts
contradictions in India
For me contradictions abound in India.
I am in a fascinating new place, on the other side of the globe, but I hardly have time to see it. Outside the average office building where I work [and work and work] in is an encampment of shacks. 'Temporary' homes for construction workers and their families completely primitive.
I am here in the monsoon season but there is a drought.
When it does rain [heavily] there doesn't seem to be much drainage planned and the water just piles up.
Being in India is an intense experience. To be fair, I would probably find training for 4 solid weeks, noon to 9pm, working 55 hours a week intense no matter where I did it. India though just adds it's own twist on everything.
There seem to be temples and shrines everywhere and all in use, I asked one guide how many temples there were in the city of Hyderabad and he seemed floored. There must be thousands I guess he finally answered. I bet he is right, it reminds me of Rome with a church or a ruin on every street. There is a level of poverty that is stunning along with an amazing level of devout belief. I wonder if these 2 things often coincide?
There are many things to laugh about, usually at myself when I rub up against a cultural difference that just strikes me as funny. One can get so used to security that one is amazed to enter a restaurant and not go through a metal detector first
There is an amazingly expensive hotel. The hotel had a smokey kitchen fire the night of a big storm, when the doors were opened to let smoke out water rushed in flooding the lobby. Now the lobby smells, as far as we can tell the area rugs were never picked up for drying or cleaning. Could it be that smells are just to be expected during the rainy season? I have no idea, it's India and things are just so different from anything I knew previously.
People have a hard time saying no, some people even say yes when they mean no, for the life of me I can't figure out when yes means no and when yes mean yes. Except by results. It can be totally bewhildering.
I am in awe, at how people work, at how they eat but stay so tiny, at how they laugh and share, I am amazed at all the sameness. I have 9 more days in India and I can't even imagine what will happen next. Except I'll be working a lot.
I am in a fascinating new place, on the other side of the globe, but I hardly have time to see it. Outside the average office building where I work [and work and work] in is an encampment of shacks. 'Temporary' homes for construction workers and their families completely primitive.
I am here in the monsoon season but there is a drought.
When it does rain [heavily] there doesn't seem to be much drainage planned and the water just piles up.
Being in India is an intense experience. To be fair, I would probably find training for 4 solid weeks, noon to 9pm, working 55 hours a week intense no matter where I did it. India though just adds it's own twist on everything.
There seem to be temples and shrines everywhere and all in use, I asked one guide how many temples there were in the city of Hyderabad and he seemed floored. There must be thousands I guess he finally answered. I bet he is right, it reminds me of Rome with a church or a ruin on every street. There is a level of poverty that is stunning along with an amazing level of devout belief. I wonder if these 2 things often coincide?
There are many things to laugh about, usually at myself when I rub up against a cultural difference that just strikes me as funny. One can get so used to security that one is amazed to enter a restaurant and not go through a metal detector first
There is an amazingly expensive hotel. The hotel had a smokey kitchen fire the night of a big storm, when the doors were opened to let smoke out water rushed in flooding the lobby. Now the lobby smells, as far as we can tell the area rugs were never picked up for drying or cleaning. Could it be that smells are just to be expected during the rainy season? I have no idea, it's India and things are just so different from anything I knew previously.
People have a hard time saying no, some people even say yes when they mean no, for the life of me I can't figure out when yes means no and when yes mean yes. Except by results. It can be totally bewhildering.
I am in awe, at how people work, at how they eat but stay so tiny, at how they laugh and share, I am amazed at all the sameness. I have 9 more days in India and I can't even imagine what will happen next. Except I'll be working a lot.
India prep
Indirectly my upcoming trip to India is having a huge impact on this blog. If days go by and I haven't posted it's usually because my head is spinning from prepping for India.
Getting ready to go to India for business is a project all on it's own. There is a lot of paperwork to coordinate for the visa, there is a lot of work prep to be done and then it all has to be balanced with personal needs that a month long stay entails. Not to mention trying to schedule tourist trips on the weekends.
When I am in India this blog will be all about India at that time. I am hopeful that I can detail quite a bit about my experiences while they are fresh right here.
For now I will say that I am so excited and dreading it at the same time. The dread is not very serious, it comes from so many unknowns rushing at me in a short time. 'will I hate it? will I be homesick? will I get sick? will training be hard? will it be dangerous? will I have time to myself? how will I arrange my weekends? will there be time to have fun? will I bring the right stuff? will I have suitable clothes? will people realize I am gay? will there be lots of personal questions?' and on and on and on.
I am looking forward to it at the very same time. I believe it will be a mind blowing change in my life, and I cannot believe it is happening! I feel so lucky, and a teeny bit sad about missing mich fest this year. Oh well. August in India will be something all right.
Getting ready to go to India for business is a project all on it's own. There is a lot of paperwork to coordinate for the visa, there is a lot of work prep to be done and then it all has to be balanced with personal needs that a month long stay entails. Not to mention trying to schedule tourist trips on the weekends.
When I am in India this blog will be all about India at that time. I am hopeful that I can detail quite a bit about my experiences while they are fresh right here.
For now I will say that I am so excited and dreading it at the same time. The dread is not very serious, it comes from so many unknowns rushing at me in a short time. 'will I hate it? will I be homesick? will I get sick? will training be hard? will it be dangerous? will I have time to myself? how will I arrange my weekends? will there be time to have fun? will I bring the right stuff? will I have suitable clothes? will people realize I am gay? will there be lots of personal questions?' and on and on and on.
I am looking forward to it at the very same time. I believe it will be a mind blowing change in my life, and I cannot believe it is happening! I feel so lucky, and a teeny bit sad about missing mich fest this year. Oh well. August in India will be something all right.
monday frustrations
It's just been kind of a frustrating Monday. I thank the goddess I got to work from home today so that I could do any eye rolling in private.
Let's see the dates for the India trip are still not finalized. The lead at the meeting didn't seem too concerned still plenty of time [to buy plane tickets] It did not seem to occur to her that perhaps some of us have, well lives and lots of duties and people outside work that we need to plan for and around. I may need to send her a gentle nudge via email.
I got a very strange phone call that turned out to be legitimate but the caller was so overly friendly in a cold sales call [or scammer] way that every alarm went off for me. [kind of funny to be suspicious of friendliness but I hope you know what I mean] I told him I would have to verify who he was and hung up the phone. Going by my cell phone log he had called before but never left a voice mail message which also seems very unbusiness-like to me.
I was able to verify with my insurance who he was, but you know I wouldn't have had to do it if they had told me in the first place that they wanted to inspect the wood stove at the cottage. Still I am glad to know he wasn't some scammer trolling for information on me.
A co-worker got very agitated when I asked her for information. She was very pessimistic and upset, though since none of the decisions were made by me, I bore no blame. But I spent a lot of time and emails trying to soothe her down and find out when she was going to be able to complete the tasks I told her about months ago and which are now due in 2 weeks. Perhaps she was just defensive because she totally forgot what I had said many months ago and it came out kind of sideways. Just another reason to be happy that my lead returns from maternity leave next Monday. I can't wait.
Well the other frustrations are even more petty so I won't immortalize them, instead I am off to the local nursery to find some things to plant! And maybe make some risotto. More reports later.
Let's see the dates for the India trip are still not finalized. The lead at the meeting didn't seem too concerned still plenty of time [to buy plane tickets] It did not seem to occur to her that perhaps some of us have, well lives and lots of duties and people outside work that we need to plan for and around. I may need to send her a gentle nudge via email.
I got a very strange phone call that turned out to be legitimate but the caller was so overly friendly in a cold sales call [or scammer] way that every alarm went off for me. [kind of funny to be suspicious of friendliness but I hope you know what I mean] I told him I would have to verify who he was and hung up the phone. Going by my cell phone log he had called before but never left a voice mail message which also seems very unbusiness-like to me.
I was able to verify with my insurance who he was, but you know I wouldn't have had to do it if they had told me in the first place that they wanted to inspect the wood stove at the cottage. Still I am glad to know he wasn't some scammer trolling for information on me.
A co-worker got very agitated when I asked her for information. She was very pessimistic and upset, though since none of the decisions were made by me, I bore no blame. But I spent a lot of time and emails trying to soothe her down and find out when she was going to be able to complete the tasks I told her about months ago and which are now due in 2 weeks. Perhaps she was just defensive because she totally forgot what I had said many months ago and it came out kind of sideways. Just another reason to be happy that my lead returns from maternity leave next Monday. I can't wait.
Well the other frustrations are even more petty so I won't immortalize them, instead I am off to the local nursery to find some things to plant! And maybe make some risotto. More reports later.
working in India
Did I mention I may be traveling to India?
kidding. I know that I did. It's just such a huge thing that I frequently say the above outloud as I try to adjust to the notion.
Part of me doesn't want to think about it too much since nothing is definite. But it would be such an incredible thing I have to give myself time to get used to it. I have to research it and establish some comfort with the idea.
I may go to India this year. Unbelievable. I have been doing quite a bit of reading and thinking because that is how I normally respond to new possibilities. It has been quite mind blowing.
I love one of the descriptions of first arrival in India, I think it was on the indiaMike forum. Imagine that an international pop star is arriving at the airport, there are 1000s of shouting people there because of this, the place is crammed. And this is what stepping out of an international Indian airport is like at 3 am on just a normal day.
My work will be putting me up in a 5 star hotel, the nightly price is unreal compared to what average indians make. We fly business class. The security dogs will sniff the car before entering the hotel chekcing for gun powder. There will be poverty everywhere. Yet my colleagues in India are in such demand that they can get 30 other job offers the moment they walk out of the building. So many contrasts to the US where most of us don't know what will happen to our jobs. One dollar is worth over 50 rupees right now.
I will not simply be a tourist answerable only to me, but I will have to work for weeks in new challenging conditions. At the same time this should be great, I will be able to meet my coworkers, have people to talk to and ask for advice. The one co-worker that is likely to travel from here with me is a peach. I don't know who else may be going. I can't believe how complicated it is just getting a travel Visa.
Then I need to plan what I will do with the extra time over there, so much to see in such a huge place. How will I get time to myself? Wow, it's just wow all over. I feel giddy and nervouse and enraptured and a bit ill all at once at the thought of it all.
I hope I get the chance. Things look good so far. They had me apply for my travel American Express and I already have a passport. They have sent me the documentation to read.
There is so much to wrap my head around. To feel so lucky at the same time there is all this uncertainty in this country. I guess that's one of the reasons for yoga, to work on the balance I so need.
kidding. I know that I did. It's just such a huge thing that I frequently say the above outloud as I try to adjust to the notion.
Part of me doesn't want to think about it too much since nothing is definite. But it would be such an incredible thing I have to give myself time to get used to it. I have to research it and establish some comfort with the idea.
I may go to India this year. Unbelievable. I have been doing quite a bit of reading and thinking because that is how I normally respond to new possibilities. It has been quite mind blowing.
I love one of the descriptions of first arrival in India, I think it was on the indiaMike forum. Imagine that an international pop star is arriving at the airport, there are 1000s of shouting people there because of this, the place is crammed. And this is what stepping out of an international Indian airport is like at 3 am on just a normal day.
My work will be putting me up in a 5 star hotel, the nightly price is unreal compared to what average indians make. We fly business class. The security dogs will sniff the car before entering the hotel chekcing for gun powder. There will be poverty everywhere. Yet my colleagues in India are in such demand that they can get 30 other job offers the moment they walk out of the building. So many contrasts to the US where most of us don't know what will happen to our jobs. One dollar is worth over 50 rupees right now.
I will not simply be a tourist answerable only to me, but I will have to work for weeks in new challenging conditions. At the same time this should be great, I will be able to meet my coworkers, have people to talk to and ask for advice. The one co-worker that is likely to travel from here with me is a peach. I don't know who else may be going. I can't believe how complicated it is just getting a travel Visa.
Then I need to plan what I will do with the extra time over there, so much to see in such a huge place. How will I get time to myself? Wow, it's just wow all over. I feel giddy and nervouse and enraptured and a bit ill all at once at the thought of it all.
I hope I get the chance. Things look good so far. They had me apply for my travel American Express and I already have a passport. They have sent me the documentation to read.
There is so much to wrap my head around. To feel so lucky at the same time there is all this uncertainty in this country. I guess that's one of the reasons for yoga, to work on the balance I so need.
I never really wanted to go there
If you have been counting you may be wondering 'what is the 4th big thing that came up this past week?' Soon you will wonder no more.
The company I work for uses many vendors overseas in various parts of Asia. We are in the middle of transferring yet another mass of work from the US. It's pretty depressing, even though I guess the one thing you can say about this bad economy is that it is world-wide. We are all hurting. Anyway nothing is definite but I was asked Thursday afternoon if I would be willing to go to India for 4 weeks on business. I am simply blown away
India is not anywhere near the top of my "10 places I want to travel" list in fact my response to others who have gone to India has been horrible heat, rain, and bugs, not for me. But here is a situation where not only would my expenses be paid but I would be making money at the same time. It's unreal, incredible.
I am petrified and overwhelmed and stunned But really, fear is crap on which to base my decisions. I am no fool. My view is only a fool would turn done a chance like this. [Though of course one could have excellent reasons for not going.] India. wow. I 'll miss my wife so much and I hate missing my wife. My friends and my family would be so far. I would be so far away if an emergency came up. 4 weeks plus is quite a long time, because I would do at least a little traveling once I was over there as well.
It sounds like I will go in July, just in time for the monsoon season and it will still be hot. wow again. My head is still kind of whirling when I think about it. One thing I will need to think about is how will I answer the common question 'are you married?' I don't want to lie, but it's probably not a safe idea to tell the truth. Certainly one thing that will have to get thought out, much more later I am sure.
Of course nothing is definite yet but if it happens it probably will be one of the life changing experiences of my life. Right now is just seems like a totally unreal part of a very stressful week.
The company I work for uses many vendors overseas in various parts of Asia. We are in the middle of transferring yet another mass of work from the US. It's pretty depressing, even though I guess the one thing you can say about this bad economy is that it is world-wide. We are all hurting. Anyway nothing is definite but I was asked Thursday afternoon if I would be willing to go to India for 4 weeks on business. I am simply blown away
India is not anywhere near the top of my "10 places I want to travel" list in fact my response to others who have gone to India has been horrible heat, rain, and bugs, not for me. But here is a situation where not only would my expenses be paid but I would be making money at the same time. It's unreal, incredible.
I am petrified and overwhelmed and stunned But really, fear is crap on which to base my decisions. I am no fool. My view is only a fool would turn done a chance like this. [Though of course one could have excellent reasons for not going.] India. wow. I 'll miss my wife so much and I hate missing my wife. My friends and my family would be so far. I would be so far away if an emergency came up. 4 weeks plus is quite a long time, because I would do at least a little traveling once I was over there as well.
It sounds like I will go in July, just in time for the monsoon season and it will still be hot. wow again. My head is still kind of whirling when I think about it. One thing I will need to think about is how will I answer the common question 'are you married?' I don't want to lie, but it's probably not a safe idea to tell the truth. Certainly one thing that will have to get thought out, much more later I am sure.
Of course nothing is definite yet but if it happens it probably will be one of the life changing experiences of my life. Right now is just seems like a totally unreal part of a very stressful week.
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