Breaking Through

The Silence of May and June seem necessary now though I was in the middle of it before I realized it. The debate around my marriage on the state level and the decisions on the federal level are made of equal amounts of wordless pain and joy.

I can’t really celebrate although there is much to celebrate. Some times I can stare wide-eyed in wonder at the change. Then at times I see my failures as an ally to others so clearly.

I realize how deeply in different ways the rejection has wounded me. I finally feel strong enough to face how painful parts of the past have been. I see that it crippled me in a way, as I tried to guard myself against more pain, more rejection - I limited myself.  

[I bow to my humanity, my 'normalness']

I feel relief that decisions were in my favor. I feel fear when I read about what is happening in Russia or France. I feel anger when couples don’t know how to respond to marriage because they could never dream in a million years it could happen for them.

It is so painful, we deserved our dreams

Words still falling short.


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