unbelievable -- done

Word count = 50,044

Yes, that means what you think it means. I am finished, as of last night at 11pm. I wanted to call everyone but it was too late.

The feeling of wonder and accomplishment is so sweet. The feeling of mental exhaustion near complete.

I look at my stats, I finished 2 days early and missed 11 days of writing entirely due to outside circumstances. This certainly made things harder, I don't recommend it at all. But it does show me what I can do under a stress and a tight deadline and saying 'no' to some things.

I did not take time off to work on this project. I have enjoyed working on it and fleshing out my imaginary world some more. I am hoping that this year I have built a stronger habit or writing more regularly in smaller amounts now that I have shown myself the incredible goals I can meet.

Mostly I am just happy. A beautiful Monday to all.

still waiting for brain to turn on

Word count = 45,515

It always seems that a big writing day [like Friday was with over 9000 words] turns my brain completely off. I managed to write another 2000 words yesterday but it was not easy going. And my brain has not bounced back yet.

But still I stayed on track and wrote and now look at that total. I am so close. I can feel confident that I will finish this year even if I don't believe anything else. I want to write today, perhaps even finish, get ready for my annual shopping trip with a close friend and perhaps get out a few winter decorations, address a few cards.

This may all be way too ambitious, probably. We'll see how it goes though. Then I may sleep for a week.

finally on track

Yesterday for the first time this entire month I was above where I needed to be for nanowrimo, no longer lagging behind.

word count = 43,581

That means the end is really in sight. It also means I wrote over 9000 words yesterday and my brain is rather numb.

But no matter, I'm sure by December I'll be able to pithily sum up my experience from this year's nano, now all I can do is sit with a blank look on my face.

It's early Saturday morning and I am off to workout. Hopefully that will help me get these last 6K words written this weekend before my next week explodes with work and fun. Although at this moment it doesn't seem very likely... I think I was writing something but I only have the vaguest recollection of it and really no idea what I was going to write next. huh

perhaps more coffee would help?

so how did that stuffing turn out?

Or wait, perhaps you are not here for a stuffing report but this:

Word count = 34, 485

I wasn't able to write at all yesterday but I am feeling good about that word count, I am only about 8K off the pace and it's the long free weekend for me, so I plan to write and write and eat yummy leftovers.

But before I do that, how to sum up Thanksgiving this year. In a word; crock pots. In an attempt to keep food warm before serving, my crock pot and several others were used. One warmed the mashed potatoes [made earlier by my sister in law], likewise the yummy bean/tomato dish. One crock pot kept hot the sweet potatoes with chambord sauce. [all the alcohol burned off first].
A platter of the carved turkey was covered in foil and kept hot in the toaster oven. And I think it helped. The food was hot when served, or at least warm. It was a freezing day of about 15 degrees, more like January than November so it seemed even more important to keep the food above room temp. Ah well, perhaps one day I will have a double oven so that I can keep stuff warm with ease.

The company was wonderful, the food very good I thought, although this year continues to be the year of 'fighting with pastry'. The turkey, which was stuffed, quite moist. The gravy made by my chief ninja fabulous. The pies ok, and the persimmon pudding good. The artichoke dip, seriously the best I have ever made, with just the right amount of kick.

I hope everyone else, whether you are celebrating american Thanksgiving or not, working your fingers to the bone writing or not, is having a great week and is well fed!

at least once

Yes, indeed at least once in every Nano cycle there comes a time when you realize you are writing complete crap. And right now is that time for me my friends.

Seriously this story sucks, it has no plot, no point and except for one occasionally recurring character from a previous story who I happen to be in love with, it is supremely boring. Boring and bad. It upsets my tummy just thinking about it.

Still let's rejoice; I wrote close to 18K words in the past 48 hours of complete and utter crap. I am now only about 6000 words behind the pace and yes it's crap but still it's an accomplishment in crap. Takes some effort to keep going on when it's this bad. I'm not kidding, it's bad.

Word count = 30,071 and ok I admit it, that sex scene turned out rather well, I'll cop to that.

Newsflash=bread does not need sugar

If I had the time I might actually be interested in finding out how we got the idea in this country that bread must have sugar in it. Sure it may help to get your yeast going quickly but you do not need it. But virtually every recipe you see will call for it unless it is subclassified 'european' and the sugar may be suggested any way. le sigh

The most delicious bread I have ever eaten is made of flour, yeast, salt, a bit of fat and water. This is in fact the bread I grew up with and yes it spoiled me. We have been known to travel with it in our carry on luggage. After all my family has been eating it since 1926 when the bakery first opened.

Not only did we use the old bread for breadcrumbs in our home made meatballs, we bought balls of dough for pizza crust and bags of old dried [seasoned if they came from Jenny Lee's] cubes for stuffing. I wonder if they still fire up the old brick wall ovens?

Which brings me to my stuffing issue. I haven't been collecting old bread for the past 6 weeks so I need to buy my bread cubes for my stuffing. This usually is not a problem but for some reason every bag of cubes I look at either has sugar in it or worse corn syrup! Blech.

That means I'll be spending time I don't really have trekking out to Whole Foods on questionable roads to get bread for the stuffing this morning. Oh well. Does this make me a food snob, perhaps? But if you grew up eating the bread that I ate you would be as well. [Hmm I just noticed they actually sell their cubes online now....I had no idea. Perhaps for next year!]

Happy thoughts about this though...Word count = 25, 587

I am over the halfway mark and it's downhill from here folks. Be safe all and I hope you all have good bread to eat!

Stormy icey fun

Word count = 20,539

Look at that my friends. That just shows you that the worse ice storm in 30 years can have it's up side. After work every tentative plan yesterday evening and now today has been modified by the horrible condition of the roads. Although it is disappointing in some ways I have been able to get a monster amount of words done and I have really enjoyed the writing. I am currently about 12K off of last years pace but there is many hours left in the day. It may not be autumnal weather but it's been productive.

Due to the groove I am in I have thought and dreamed story even when I am not actually writing it. It's probably a bit hard on the others in the house,it is rather difficult to get my attention. Thank goodness for their patience.

According to the daily goal total I should be at 35K, I hope to finish at 25K today. Who knows it may be more, already I am enjoying the satisfaction of watching that word total graph creep up. I love that graph! Go Nano.

yep, definitely giddy am I.

breathe, breathe

Word count = 12,700, you can find me under user name cervyn if you want to look yourself.

So little written this week. Paid employment sucked up a huge amount of time and energy this week.

On one hand my total seems so low, I will need to average about 4000 words a day in order to meet my glorious goal.

On the other hand, just the fact I got 500 more words written this week is a triumph with the week I have had. So as I pat myself on the back for that I will also try to coax my shoulders down a little more and not hunch over my computer.

Because the main point is the fun, and you know the writing is still fun. There are 10 days left in the month and it's all about Thanksgiving and Nano from here on out.

patterns, what to do

word count = 12210

so I am fairly good at recognizing my patterns. I am also fairly good at trying new things. I am pretty damn good at letting go, especially of perfectionism. Also I think I have gotten kinder as the years pass.

time out for a yeah me!

Here is something I suck at:
replacing a pattern that no longer serves me with a new pattern that reflects the current me.

For instance it took me years [but no judgment, uh huh] to figure out that one of the reasons I didn't really exercise was that I didn't know that I should. Crazy eh?

Finally it clicked [about 5 years ago] that seriously I need to exercise just like sleeping or breathing. it is necessary. I even understood why I hadn't realized that before and I believed it deep down in my body.

However all these years later I have not been able to change my pattern of not exercising to any great extent. I mean I do exercise, at least some. Certainly more than 10 years ago. And I actually know that I need to, I even desire it. But still I can't seem to break the old pattern of not exercising it seems to be always there, it's like it's still holding on ---on some level. Or perhaps it's more clear [ha] to say the old pattern has never been replaced by a new pattern based on my current bone deep realizations? It's like a pattern.

ow. ok more on this later.

[why yes I realize this is basically incoherent, but what can I say, it's November and snippets are pretty incoherent]

can I have some writing with that soreness?

So I have been writing and it's been good. I mean the act of the writing, cause seriously the story itself is total crap and I have no plan and don't seem to care all that much.

Although at my little write in this morning someone mentioned that if you give your character a name like Bobby Jo your word count will accelerate big time---so brilliant. Will try to remember when I need to name a new character.

word count=10356 and it's not over for the day yet. I need to average 2643 in order to still hit goal and that amount does not look that scary. Of course the more I write today will keep on dragging that down so yeah.

It feels pretty good to be in quintuple digits.
[ok is that actually a word I wonder? too sore to check]

So mostly yeah writing and pain from shoulders. I am pretty sure the sore is from my tiny baby shiva nata practice where I laugh hysterically while windmilling my arms. The perfect accompaniment to nanowrimo, because I so suck at both.

I needed more laughter and this is working.

challenge thinking

word count = 7249 and I am not done writing for the day yet. I am hoping to get to 10K today.

I have been thinking about challenges. Although nano is not new to me this year, it is certainly still a challenge. In fact looking in the archives on November 14 last year I was at ...hmmm I don't have a snippet for this day last year. But on Nov 12th last year I was at about 12000+ words so I am certainly off that pace. Being challenged.

Part of me wants to panic a bit and part of me keeps thinking 'let's see what happens, I think I can do this.' Well, whatever the outcome it feels great writing today and more time is planned for it tomorrow.

You know I haven't run a 5K yet, but I am still running. And even figuring out how to do it on the treadmill. More challenge. Makes me wonder how I can bring a bit of challenge joy to my work. Hmmm

Yummy challenges to all who need them.

Hmm, I kind of suck

Seriously, my word total sucks! 5533

So little writing got done this week! But now my time is opening up a bit more, we had a 9" snowfall which encourages staying home and the writing can now continue.

Will I finish in time? I certainly don't know. Hm I am only about 20,000 words behind

While I didn't have time for writing this week I did have time to struggle with my favorite self criticism. I don't critique my writing attempts but I feel that I failed at self care this week. Why is this still so hard at times?

I have the hardest time setting limits, pushing myself when I am too tired. I would have thought that my friend's stroke would have helped me focus on what is important health-wise...but it's still such a struggle. How to take time to exercise, sleep, be quiet? And not beat myself up when I feel like I fail and fail. sigh.

Although it does encourage me to know that lots of other people have this issue... not being alone is a great comfort.

A tenth of the way

I am trying to stay positive. word count = 5495 That is a tenth of the way!

And really I need to celebrate that and not look at those silly stats that persist on telling me how far behind I am. Although there is a goal for the month, the point is to have fun and meet the end goal. You don't win more if you keep up with the 1667 word total per day...

I am noticing how different this year is already from last year. Since it's not new anymore I don't have that same sense of wonder. Yet it is still fun. and absorbing. and challenging.

I have 4 more great days with family and then hopefully I'll get some writing meet ups with friends. And I am proud to be writing complete crap in the true nanowrimo tradition. I dare to write badly! peace out.

tiny people charm

Word count=4174

My number is slowly moving up but I am still having fun. I did really wonder about nanowrimo this year. I knew I was going to have wonderful visitors for 9 days the beginning of November including my 22 month old goddaughter. Obviously I decided to write anyway, because the truth is most of us don't have a lot of leisure to write. We have to balance it in with work and relationships and laundry. We have to choose over and over again what we are going to spend out time doing.

We are having fun but there are many hours I choose to spend with them instead of writing. That is ok with me. The truth is I don't get to see my family that often and I want to see them when I have the chance. Also I don't want this to turn into a 'should'. I don't need another one of those. Last year I started late and missed a least a week of writing due to travel and other commitments but I still finished. And I had fun.

Of course I don't know what the future holds, I may not finish my 50,000 words this month but I plan on having fun. It's still not too late to join the creative free fall if you want!

writing with birthdayish stuff

I have a conflicted relationship with my birthday, it has been hurtful in the past so I always feel like I am bracing myself. This year I am having another good day.

There is sun and it's not raining or snowing or sleeting.

I was served breakfast in bed, my favorite quiche from Turtle bread and cranberry bread from Mayday..

I got out for a run.

My niece and goddaughter took me to Travail for lunch. It was yummy, I had the chicken, with soup for starters. My niece had the homemade pastrami. Very nice and much more relaxed at lunch time. It amazes me how filling their food is!

My wife baked me a no sugar cake with agave nectar and grain sweetened choc chips. It tastes so good and I feel so lucky to have people to share it with me.

Tonight I am taking out a few friends for dinner. Fingers crossed the 22 month old will be happy. She hasn't napped all afternoon even though she has been up there 3 hours babbling to herself happily. She'll probably doze off in her rice tonight.

Word count = 3047 So lucky today.

a choice was made

Once again I have started Nanowrimo late but I have started.

Word count = 2349

This year I had to make a choice. What was I going to write about this year? Last year I had basically dreamed out the beginning third of my book. I had a course mapped out in front of me. This year I had to make a choice between something completely different and a sort of sequel to my last book.

Since I am currently revising the first story and living in that mental universe I decided to stay there and work on the second story in the same world. I am putting the focus on some minor characters that wanted their chance on the page. I don't think I'll be getting a crush on any of my characters any time soon though. I think I may miss that.

Happy writing, remember it's suppose to be fun!

November and Nanowrimo have started

I hope you all can put up with my bloggy snippets as I once again try to win nanowrimo this month. It is going to be a challenging one.

I have house guests for 10 days. I have a birthday to celebrate. I am once again starting late. But I have to give it a try, it is just so much fun. You can still join the crazy throng.

Samhain was awesome. There was a fabulous ritual in a graveyard. There was warm sunshine and soup eaten outside. There was nano prep and fabulous japanese food. And now it is onto November. Hopefully I'll be updating you on my word count soon.

Remember: 'write like the wind!'