Summer end check in -Autumn is almost here.

Last day of summer here and time for a check in.

The two issues from my last post:
-Leak proof container for on the go dressings and sauces. This has been purchased but I have not had a good chance to use it.  Tomorrow night may be the time as we are eating out for autumnal equinox.
-Food waste. It's going better. I am slowly transitioning to buying less, cooking less, shopping for less -- Still a work in progress but that is ok. One thing I decided was, since I am not cooking Thanksgiving this year I will not be buying my own turkey for those of here at home. It is simply too much food for us. This by itself is a major change. It will be weird to not be ordering my turkey during my birthday week.

Since my last update I have had 4 trips (3 by plane),  one dying dog and completely finished my masters degree. It's been a lot the past 6 weeks.

I have maintained my weight loss but have had no new lows. However I am still very committed and have been keeping up all my new habits. Now that I have room for new projects in my life I am going to be very thoughtful this year about continuing to build on my habits, continue to lose weight and get to goal (no matter how long it takes me). Some of my new projects include an online support group, NANOWRIMO and artsy community classes.

The support group will need a lot of online time from me but I will still be reporting here as I consider this more of a personal journal.

It's been (over) a year!

Well today is a year, plus a few days, of my re-commitment to low carb/carnivore/keto eating. 

My pie in the sky goal was to lose 100# in a year. I am down 63 pounds and feeling great. I knew back in June that I was not going to meet my bigger goal within the year so I did some research on how to handle it. 

This led me to the gap vs. the gain. I choose to focus on how I started 63 pounds heavier a year ago. I have made huge, huge strides. I have even figured out how to eat when I am up at the lake! I am capable of losing weight when I am on vacation and feel great about it.

I also set a July goal of getting below 170# and I made that goal, now I am working on my August goal. It's doable but challenging - we will see.

I have also set my long term goal of losing 100+ and getting into the 120s by the end of the year. This is quite the stretch goal. But no matter where I end up on December 31 I will be better off than where I am today. I will have learned more, problem-solved and be healthier in a hopefully smaller body.

Currently I am working on a couple of things. I need a small leak proof bottle so that I can take a vinaigrette with me when I eat out. I love salads at this time of the year, but restaurants seem to have the nastiest dressings. I am also tired of food waste at home. I am brain-storming how I can get my food purchases to line up with how much food is going to be eaten in my house. I hate wasting food!

Hopefully by the time I check in here next I will have both of these solved! peace out.

Turning down the volume

I have been working on eating the correct amount of food for a person who weighs 58 pounds less. I have been somewhat successful.

I have noticed that I tend to cook too much.
I tend to put too much on my plate.
It was harder up at the lake as I was out of my routines.
I tend to want to finish off what it on my plate because I am lazy about putting food away.
I am noticing that my brain still thinks I need to eat more when my body feels full, stuffed even.
I can tell I need to keep doing thought work and stop blunting my feelings with food.
I am still trying to re-define the parts of my life that revolved around food.
I have been peering at naturally thin people's serving sizes to get used to new amounts I am shooting for.
I don't expect everyday to be the same.

Headed back for the lake and determined to make this weekend more successful than my last trip. I will figure this out! For sure.

A bit over 4 months

Within a week of my previously complaining post I got a new low on the scale. Only a half a pound but I still celebrated. My measurements never seem to actually change much even when my clothing gets looser. I need me some scale love. It's really helpful to my mental outlook.

So yay. Now I am ready to head up north on a working vacation and do my best to get a new low while there. This is a step on the path to my monthly goal.

I would really like to move into a lower range of weight this month. That range is 3.5 pounds away.

I feel pretty determined to do all that I can do. I am working very hard with the emotional component of eating and trying to adjust the volume of food I take in while paying more attention to how full I am actually feeling. If I am successful I will blog about it afterwards.  Well, I guess I will blog about it either way!

It's been four months

It has been four months since I have had a new low on the scale. At first I was patient because weight loss in never linear.  I have been pleased that I have been maintaining within a ten pound range. 

But the truth is I don't want to maintain, I am not at maintenance weight. I want to keep on losing another 40+ pounds. 

These past 4 months were not wasted. I feel that I have been learning a lot. How to travel both for work and vacation and balance out my eating plan. I have been doing a lot of mental work to accept that I need to change old thoughts that don't serve me and contributed to my weight issues. 

I don't want to be a foodie anymore. I want to find other healthy ways to celebrate and commemorate important events in my life. I don't want to spend much time trying out new recipes or creating new dishes or eating at new places. I do better when my food choices are limited. I don't want to turn to food to buffer discomfort. I want to be okay with the fact that in order for the end result to change what I put into it needs to change also. I want to keep learning and growing and I want to accept things that aren't easy.

It's interesting to me that these are not universal at all. Other people may need to change other stuff in order to lose. There are plenty of thin people who can be foodies or cook a lot or bake or celebrate with lots of feasting. Currently this is not me.

Primed with this insight I am going to start tweaking things with more deliberation if I don't see a new scale low in 2 to 3 weeks.  We'll see what happens. It will be interesting no matter what.

post Europe

Well my vacation is over and the 4+ days of jet-lag have almost cleared out. I was super happy to see that I did not gain weight over my vacation even though there was quite a bit of carbs and wine over the 2+ weeks. 

In fact it seems that my weight range has shifted downwards by about 3#. 

I attribute that to being in a totally different food environment and my overall stress levels being lower and all the food being different on the micro level. Different water and different soils growing the food.  The same thing happened to me the last time I spent a couple of weeks in Europe. Of course my activity levels are also different. I tend to do lots of walking on vacation. Most days I walked until my feet were sore and I almost limped back to the apartment.

I feel so much more confident going forward with my eating and maintaining my weight loss. Although I probably will not make my goal of 100 pounds gone in a year I still feel good about my (slow) downward weight trend and my increasing health and comfort.

Now I am looking forward to the rest of the summer. Doing some fasting. Maybe doing a bit of carnivore for a couple of week or months. Or perhaps I will wait for cool weather to do that...

Europe, Keto and Food

Food on vacation has been going fairly well. 
I cannot find 100% chocolate any where and I really miss it. 
I have figured out bacon and eggs and olives and so much cheese at home in the apartment. 
There is lots of Indonesian and Suriname take-away. Both yummy and easy to avoid rice, bread and potatoes.
My blood glucose and ketone numbers have been good even with the occasional piece of bread, potatoes or spoon of rice or fruit. 
My scale isn't working but clothing feels normal.
Stress is way down.  
Italy next, but I am not fussed about it. I feel confident that I can handle it.
All is all vacation has been going well and I am looking forward to seeing the dogs and getting back to fasting times.