some seasonal things

Has my mental landscape resulted in a few dreary posts this week? I believe so. While the gloom is a true thread it is not the entire story so I want to mention the bright spots that were intertwined with the gloom, three leap to mind.

This week contained the anniversary of the day I met one of my oldest and dearest friends. I am so grateful for this amazing woman and I love her dearly. We spent a whole day together shopping, talking, laughing, eating and remembering. I hope I have many more decades with her in my life. A true sister of the heart.

We put our tree up and the lights on it. It smells like a magic forest. We used red and white lights for the first time and it looks like a giant peppermint. The tree shadows on the walls are delicate tracings of shadow lace.

Not all December traditions were canceled, I'm so grateful for that. The annual food shelf concert by Ellis was yesterday. I have been enjoying this performer since 2003, and this concert is a big part of my enjoyment. She tours so check her out the next time she is your backyard.

It's good to remember the shiny stuff that goes on in my life and to sink into the darkness of this month as a friend not as something to push away. After all the light is coming back soon.

no Klingons

Everything changes and sometimes it's great. Like my best friend just bought a new peridot green bike and I foresee many rides together in 2012. Yeah!

But I want this blog to be authentic and some things suck.

Sometimes change is not great at all. Go ahead click on the link, it's a short notice. Did you see the relevant [to me] part?

The 2011 production marks the 6th time the show has been put up, and the 2nd time in the Windy City.

There are no other productions in 2011.

No Klingon Xmas Carol in Minneapolis this year. [you know it's hard to type when you have a fist in your mouth to hold back the sobbing]

Seriously, really I couldn't be happier for you all in Chicago. They are introducing a new score this year and everything. Wonderful. Look at all those showings through the end of the month. You should totally go and tell me about it. I want them to do well, really. I mean it.

Yeah. Enjoy. sniff

why did I order that pizza?

Why do I keep ordering pizza I don't want to eat?

Background facts:

I love the homemade pizza I had as a child.

I love the pizza we had in Rome

I cannot replicate those pizzas here in the Midwest in my home.

No one else can either.

Dissecting what happens:

I start craving pizza. I haven't had it in months.

I start thinking about pizza and how much I enjoyed it in the past.

I start plotting -- I could have pizza soon.

Then I order some pizza .

I feel a glow of happiness-pizza is coming. yea!

Pizza arrives and it's not the like the pizza from my childhood or Rome.

I am disappointed in the pizza and don't enjoy it.

Wait about 4-6 months and it happens again! and again. and again.

I realize that occasionally I am a slow learner.

Grasping at straws I hope that if I write about it perhaps next time I won't order the pizza.

It's worth a shot, we'll see what happens come May.

Feel free to share tips on how you handle this, because it may not be pizza for you, but I bet there is something.

p.s. why yes this pizza may be a metaphor...

I forget, goodbyes are hard

I have a theory.

Sometimes I forget things because a part of me wants to forget them. That's fine but it's never permanent. Eventually the 'thing' will roll back around and then I will remember all, vividly.

This past month I had to say farewell to a friend and it was so painful. As soon as I felt the pain I remembered past farewells like a scent from childhood.

The combination of present pain and remembering is tidal. It brings me to an inescapable present of heavy eyes and heart. There is no leaving it behind since it surrounds me on all sides. I also remember how it softens -- eventually and then fades a bit and then it's gone. Moved through, forgotten.

But right now - I remember.

before turning

I haven't made it to the Y in what feels like forever and wow can I tell. True it's only been a week or so, but I really miss it.

I'm frustrated that I can't seem to get trips to the Y into my schedule before Saturday, but that doesn't quite explain why I am almost craving it.

Then for the past 3 days I have been also been craving veggies. Last night I actually had salad instead of the fabulous fries I usually get with my sandwich at Sun Street.

Suddenly I want to revise my fiction writing. Did I 'sit' on it long enough to hatch it or what?

This is all fine and at the same time a bit strange.

I feel like I should buckle up for the next turn of the wheel.

Only a week Late

Remember that crazy secret goal I had to not just write 50,000 words for nanowrimo but complete my entire first draft in November?

I didn't make it.

But last night, just under a week late, I did!!

I wrote an entire first draft between November 1 and December 6.

I am happy but my head hurts so it's hard to be too happy right now. Still it feels pretty awesome especially since I did it during a very hard and busy month+.

My next goal is not to collapse in a heap for December but to keep my writing momentum going. So I am starting a serious revision of my first novel. The kind of revision that when I am done I have something I could let a friend read.

I have my steps mapped out. I have found my theme. I have written a blurb to help me remember what it should be about. I have printed the entire first draft out.

Using all that paper was guilt inducing but I think it will be worth it. My old revision attempts did not have clear steps, now I have them.

I want to set a 'revision done' goal. I am thinking January 31.

Too soon? Pushed out too much?

hosting a wedding

Yesterday we did a new thing and hosted a wedding in our home. My writing partner and her true love were married in front of our dining room window overlooking the herb garden. Little did I know last spring when I designed the garden that dear friends would want to get married with that as a back drop.

Naturally one thing went wrong, I broke the coffee maker an hour before the guests arrived. Our neighbors, who are dolls, loaned us their coffee maker for the afternoon.

The flowers looked lovely. My one sister-in-law watched our noisy dog, who is very hard to handle at indoor parties. My other sister-in-law helped out in the kitchen during the most crucial two hours. Very few presents were brought, which is great because it can be hard to keep track of such things at a wedding.

I think it went well, everyone seemed happy, the falling snow happened after everyone had arrived. The food was enjoyed. Every scrap of my artichoke dip was eaten, as well as multiple cheeses, pate, smoked salmon, caviar and other yummy stuff.

My writing partner carried the handkerchief carried by my mother [and me and my niece and...] at her wedding over 60 years ago. For good luck.

The mocha wedding cake [not made by me] was truly decadent yet somehow light. It was the right size, most of it was eaten.

The couple getting married were radiant and their jack russell made an adorable ring bearer.

My wife and I were too tired to go to the after party down the street, which was a shame but we took a short stroll through the snow globe that was our neighborhood last night and slept the sleep of the satisfied.

It was truly a delight. I recommend hosting a wedding to anyone. :)