before turning

I haven't made it to the Y in what feels like forever and wow can I tell. True it's only been a week or so, but I really miss it.

I'm frustrated that I can't seem to get trips to the Y into my schedule before Saturday, but that doesn't quite explain why I am almost craving it.

Then for the past 3 days I have been also been craving veggies. Last night I actually had salad instead of the fabulous fries I usually get with my sandwich at Sun Street.

Suddenly I want to revise my fiction writing. Did I 'sit' on it long enough to hatch it or what?

This is all fine and at the same time a bit strange.

I feel like I should buckle up for the next turn of the wheel.

even more sporadic

As soon as I gave myself permission for 'snippet summer' my home computer died an ugly death.

It was like it knew.

July continues to be muggy and full and wonderful and buggy.

Late last night my goddaughter and her dear mother arrived and already the house is a different place. My goddaughter is 2.5 now and every time I see her she is a different child in a different stage. She is very articulate now but can still be surprised by a nectarine pit.

It's fun seeing the world through her eyes again. I wonder what her first memory will be.

talking to the max

So back from a weekend up north. Ah the quiet north woods but it was different this time. I was up there with some of my family and my family are talkers.

I define talkers as people who can just effortlessly chatter away, about pretty near anything and it doesn't really seem to cost them any energy. This wears me out so quickly. Also I usually can tune things out when I am reading but the volume didn't really allow for that this time.

The talk is interesting, mostly and they really aren't expecting a lot back from me. I think they realize that I am not a big talker. [you there, quit sniggering]

Ok, yes at times I am extremely talkative but it is a continuum and after I talk I get all tired out. I also try to listen and give the people I am with my attention. This also takes tons of energy. I think I know this about myself but still it surprises me. I found myself Saturday afternoon in a heap on the bed listening to the rain with the door closed 'taking a nap'. I am a horrible napper but I was like an overstimulated toddler who just needed downtime.

I am not exactly sure why I am writing about this except that it was a big deal for me this weekend and I feel the need to acknowledge that in some way. Also, perhaps, I am noticing my burnout level sooner than before and self care is kicking in quicker, so that is a very good thing.
I am also becoming aware that it may take several days, up to a week, for me to really recover. Do I bounce back slower nowadays?

I don't want to imply there is any right or wrong about this, some people are more talkative than
others and that really is ok. but for now, Quiet to all who need it .

metphors work!

So back here I talked about my needing a metaphor that enabled me to interact with the changes at work that would keep me sane. One that that felt comfortable.

I did find my metaphor during the following week but I wasn't sure if I was going to blog about it. It seemed that it was so specific for me that it couldn't be of any use to anyone else. A couple of friends convinced me otherwise.

So here it goes, my work = an active drunk.
As soon as I made that connection so many things improved for me. For one thing I stopped thinking I was in some way responsible for their erratic behavior and choices. Then I realized I needed to take care of me and not try to take care of them or make things better for them. I needed to act responsibly and ethically but I didn't need to expend energy on trying to save them. I didn't cause their crazy behavior, I certainly can't change or cure it.

In other words I expanded the 12th step in Al-Anon in a new empowering way that works for me. By seeing my work as an active drunk I can let go of a lot of unrealistic expectations. For instance I no longer expect them to behave rationally, that would just be silly. I also realize their view of reality is warped and that I do not need to buy into it. I just let go.

This isn't to say work doesn't still annoy me at times but now I know how to respond in a way that eases stress for me. As always in letting go you get free. I have peace back, even if some days I get through one hour at a time.
I can maintain a sense of compassion as well. Especially for my coworkers trying to deal with the same drinker.

Seriously, it has been quite fabulous. I don't know how meaningful this will be for someone who is not used to 12 step programs though. [or really anyone] but then I guess you never know. I am so grateful though. peace out.

It's a pretty fabulous world.

weather whining

You know the one that goes 'grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change'? Sometimes it is not all that clear what we can change and what we can't but one thing I am absolutely sure that I cannot change is this crappy weather.

*sigh*

So I know this but still I just dislike this weather so much. I feel silly complaining about typical July weather in Minnesota. It's hot, humid, muggy, sticky, buggy and occasionally rainy. The rain drops the temperature a bit but it just keeps on being hot and muggy. Although this year the rain isn't giving a few hours of relief still it's typical summer weather in MN. Which I dislike more than I can say [although I could go on] and I grew up in Pittsburgh which has plenty of muggy weather so it's not like this is new to me. Why did this weather not bother me as a child?

I have a love-hate relationship with my air conditioners and fans. On one hand they so make my life bearable I love them dearly for the comfort and semi-dryness they bring, on the other hand I feel like I am living in a wind tunnel and I am getting so tired of the constant noise. Then back to the first paragraph of this post.

What if anything can I do to increase my acceptance of this weather that I hate so much? I don't have to suddenly love it but I would like to soften a bit and not be in a constant state of 'ick, ick, ick'. It so stressful but, perhaps because it's primarily a physical reaction, I have problems really connecting to it?

We haven't had a long stretch of weather like this for quite a few summers. Perhaps I will acclimate? Seems like I will have a while to work on it.

some shoe success

So now a break from all this navel gazing intensity.

Don't speak too loudly, you may scare off the luck I am having with shoe shopping this late spring. As I reported awhile ago my shoes last summer sucked. As the weather heated up I knew I had to face the shopping and at least try to find some summer shoes/sandals.

Well it didn't go horribly wrong. I found some fun slip on heels. Wedges, not skinny, cork heels and brown cloth uppers. They are comfortable and fun for wearing at work or out. They are Italian and are so lightweight it is remarkable.

I also got some tan leather sling back flat sandals. These are fairly comfortable, though not as comfortable as they look, which is odd. The heels are actually more comfortable.

Then I found another pair of my preferred tennis shoes on sale, so I can alternate all summer with the running and other exercising and my shoes really have a chance to air out.

In another fit of shoe stubbornness I tried once again to wear my keens, and they just do not work for me. Again my 'heels' are more comfortable which bums me out I need some slip on sporty shoes, that I can wear while camping and tromping around with cush. Wish me luck, I so need it.

I also need to remember the definition of insanity. Attempting over and over to wear those keens is insane, I need to just admit it, recycle them and move on. [but I so want them to work, I need them] How do you break up with your shoes?

Feel free to make any recommendations.

the end of the week

So glad this week is ending because it has not been all that fun.
My bike was stolen Thursday between 5 -6:30 pm. I reacted in the typical way; feeling confused and wondering if I perhaps just misplaced it somewhere. There was feeling of unreality all around. I felt just more confusion then sad then vulnerable, violated, bummed and just plain old weird.

That was the first bike I ever picked out and bought. It was partly a gift from my 2 closest friends, I am going to miss that bike. hmmmm

Then Friday morning I woke up with a migraine. Which still seems totally weird to me. I was fine when I went to bed but somehow while I was sleeping I got sick. It basically wrung me out all Friday and Saturday, which coincided with my wife getting some nasty virus with a temp of 102 and white blood cell count of 2000. This coincided with rain, humidity and more rain, we were quite the dank and unhappy pair who canceled all plans for visiting the lake this weekend.

Now it is Sunday. Things are looking a bit brighter. I tried to run at the Y and semi-succeeded, although the humidity and fumes from the redone floor made me less effective. My wife no longer has a fever, it is still rainy and humid and three people have offered to loan me bikes. So slowly the clouds are lifting at least metaphorically and our health induced breaks seem to be winding down.

I know there are people out there who had wonderful bright and sunshiny weekends. I love to think of that and live vicariously. Here's to a happy next week for all.

running report week 4

We all hear that time is relative and my running certainly proves that. Here I am with 'week' 4 finished and I have been running for 2 months. Most of my weeks last 8 days minimum

My own pace is enough though.

Week 4 was a nice gentle increase of over my week 3a. I was doing the full 3 minute and 5 minute intervals, my running distance increased over the week from 1 mile to 1 and 1/8.

I ran outside here in the city for only the second time. I was only on the sidewalk for a couple of blocks. Concrete is really nasty on the hips. But the sky and flowers were all lovely. For the first time the podcast had a musical choice that I found odd, but is certainly distracted me from the effort of running while I tried to figure out if the song was suppose to sound like that.

I have really missed my heart rate monitor which snapped and broke in a spin class almost 2 weeks ago. I am still waiting to hear if it will be replaced by the maker, it's less than a year old and was not cheap.

Week 5, has 3 different types of running going on, supposedly culminating in one 20 minute run, no walking, at the end of the week. I understand the purpose of this but I think it's going to take more than 2 running sessions for me to build up to 20 minutes. So I will be doing weeks 5a and 5b then trying 20 minute run sometime around the summer solstice before moving on to 'week' 6. I am feeling fine but still waiting for that increase of energy that regular exercise is suppose to bring. I hope it's coming.

Running report week 3a

Well that was a waste of a good rant. But it certainly set up a good laugh for me.

Full of glowing self care I did running week 3A of my own devising. Since I didn't have the podcast to give me timed cues, I did it by distance.

So the good [great] news is I have been running a whole mile [not continuously], a modest increase of a quarter of a mile [or so] from the week before. But something changed when I started paying attention to distance...or perhaps it was just a super tiring week so I ran slower?
Imagine my wonder, chagrin, then amusement when I looked at how long it took me to run my 1/6 and 1/3 mile intervals. About 2+ and 4+ minutes, which gave me an estimated total of 14 minutes total. That was quite the surprise

Those of you who are into numbers and have good memories are probably thinking; hmm, 9 to 14 minutes is in itself a pretty big jump and also 14 is really not that much less than 16. You are right. This was the source of my laughter. Fueled with righteous indignation at C25K asking too much of me, I made up my own week and then it ended up not being all that different.

It also made me realize that I am going way slower than the average C25k runner. My pace certainly not up to 1.5 miles in 16 minutes yet.

I do think week 3A was a good thing. Those 14 minutes [1 mile] pushed me a lot and I don't think I could have done more. It ended up being a good increment for me. Perhaps I can do more than I realized. It's so hard to know when to push and when to take care of yourself, especially when you are doing an activity where you could injure yourself.

We spent some time up at the cottage the past week [one of the reasons for lack of blogging] and I ran outside for only the second time. The packed dirt/sand, barely traveled roads were comfortable for running. The humidity was not though. I need to be much more aware of the weather if I am going to run outside, do it earlier. So onto week 4. I am still a bit nervous about it [not sure why] but I'm going to see what happens.

Delightful Dallas

We rolled into Dallas Tuesday evening around 6:00 pm. We had driven south to find the spring and by the time we were in Texas I was no longer feeling disappointed. There were flowering trees everywhere.

We pulled into the parking lot of Poor David's Pub and immediately got a great surprise. The back door was open and the musicians were jamming before the shows. It sounded awesome. That area, being right across from the police station, feels very calm and safe.
I talked to one of the doorman to get the low down on places to eat nearby and when the doors would open for the second show. Less than a block away was an gorgeous restored warehouse with shops on the ground level. We got cleaned up/changed from spending the past 12 hours in the car, food from the deli and sat outside enjoying some of the music during open mic night at the Opening Bell. The coffees we got were good, although they took forever, with the thickest creamiest foam I have ever had. It was like dessert.

Then we went to get in line. The doors opened at typical pub time only 20 minutes late and we got our 'will call' tickets with no problems. People were great. I have seen Melissa Ferrick many times, she is one of my favorite performers but this was by far the smallest crowd I have ever seen at one of her shows. It was nice for us to have such an intimate show although I am sure it is a drag for the musician. We had great seats and her fantastic playing staved off my extreme sleepiness. We enjoyed chatting with people about Austin and sxsw. Then by midnight we were back in the car and headed to our friends in Austin playing the loudest music we had in order to stay awake.

A great start to our vacation.

a gift from the universe

I was given a huge gift last week from the universe. I have been babbling about it in email to virtually everyone I know.
A random comment on a blog I read gave me some new information. Tara Brach has an online presence. Who is Tara Brach? She is an awesome woman, who wrote an awesome book, who I whole-heartily adore. She also has tons on meditation/dharma talks online. Seriously I would marry the woman if it wasn't for the whole fact of us being married to other people who we love and... oh you know what I mean. Did I mention she is awesome in every way?

Well I could go on gushing about it. I could tell you how every other day I have been taking time for myself doing restorative yoga and listening to a download. I could spend time talking about how even though work is hellish I feel like I am feeling more spacious and at home instead of contracted and hard of heart and how it's a pretty wonderful and remarkable thing. But seriously, do yourself a favor and just go over there and check her out. That's where I will be this weekend when I am not working, dancing or packing. I am so grateful. namaste

Full Tank

Such a better week. I feel like I had one full week of being ill. Then another week of recovery. Finally this past Monday I started to feel like myself again. Then the catching up began. Then joy.

There is an idea in the Chemistry of Joy. That we all have a reservoir of resiliency which we can draw upon to deal with the stresses that occur in life. Some of us have huge tanks and it takes a lot to deplete us, some are born with smaller tanks and get depleted much more quickly.

I was sitting in my Resilience Training after group last night. We were doing our beginning meditation and checking in with ourselves. I suddenly realized that I was happy, seriously happy verging on giddy. As the evening went on I just got happier seeing people from last autumn's RT group and experiencing the great tea ceremony/ritual/mindfulness exercise that one of our group leaders prepared for us. My negative mind pointed out that it wouldn't last forever [of course nothing does] but I just smiled and told myself I was going to enjoy it anyway.

Later when I was home I realized that my tank [whatever size it is] felt full. Even with all the stress of work I am dealing with it better. Even though one day I had an afternoon migraine and had to cancel a dinner with a friend. The good parts of this week, well I really gave them my attention. I had a great writing afternoon and really felt connected to my story again.
Word count=65635

I had 2 'workout dates' with friends and had fun catching up and working out. I had a fab lunch with one friend and a nice dinner with another. Something I had been dreading didn't happen...I hadn't even realized I was dreading it, but I guess I was because I felt a lot of relief when it didn't happen. In between it all I shoveled snow and danced and did my best to let go of the idiocy that is work and appreciated all my co-workers. We are all in this boat together. [is it sinking?] It's been great to feel a lightening up of my grief from the past few months.
I hope I can manage my 'tank' better and keep topping it up so that I can operate on a much more even keel in the upcoming weeks. Qi gong tonight.

So my wish for all to have a stellar weekend, be nice to your sweetie, your pets and you!

wrapping up a week and blech goodbyes

Word count=62,022
Today I am not going to say 'where did the week go?' I am aware this week of the major suckitude that happened and why I missed my blog.
To sum up:

Work = big stress + funeral type atmosphere
This is partially caused by the fact that we are losing team members to a lay off at the end of the month. And everyone is fairly sure more layoffs are coming in April. Such a cheerful vibe at work.
Computer=nasty virus and death
My main laptop [work] caught big bad virus Tuesday. I do express my gratitude to the awesome guys who already had my new laptop on order and got it configured in record time this week. But now everything I do is slooooow, because I am redoing all my settings that were lost on the old one. Of course plus side new much needed laptop!
Surprise = big gulpy shock that I am processing
I got a big surprise from a friend this week. It's not really a bad surprise [not like November] but still. I am great in an emergency, but with other kinds of surprises the processing is pretty slow or awkward or something. I sit down now and my brain goes 'huh, what do I think about that surprise and what if anything should be done?'
Goodbyes = letting go?
I started thinking about how I dislike goodbyes when I had to take down the tree. We got an eastern balsam this year and it was a very dry fire hazard. It had to move on. I didn't want it to leave, I love it. That reminded me of all the times when goodbyes make me anxious. Not always, sometimes I feel the space of 'yes, it's time for this thing to end and me to move on' and life is full of ease. But sometimes goodbyes stress me out. And I can't find the pattern to it. Is it because I am not feeling finished? Is it because I don't want the fun to end? Is it because I am dreading the next thing coming up? Does some of this relate to childhood abandonment issues?

Just writing this though reminds me of the great things about the week. Like cheering on a friend who just started a new job, taking my first cycle class and loving it, having an awesome dinner and breakfast with friends, taking Friday off, new cheerful haircut, first monthly Resiliency follow up, January thaws, being in bed by 8pm Friday night and having a writing buddy [mini nanowrimo].

So I will gently commit [no shoulds] to getting some painting and writing done, to getting my new camera out of the box, to enjoy ECD tomorrow night and just be patient with surprises and goodbyes. All of us doing the best we can here. Here's hoping this next week has more space for fun.

skipping encouraged

word count 41,205 very busy at work yesterday hardly any writing.

Also I was feeling a bit stuck, I felt like I was in a blah place in the story and not really sure how to get from the middle to the next place. Inspiration was sorely lacking until I saw nanowrimo creator Chris' latest video. He suggested that you skip to the middle, the end, where ever, if you get bogged down in the story and I realized oh yeah, I'm a bit bogged down here, but I can just keep moving and go somewhere else and keep on writing.

In other news had my last resiliency training meeting this morning. Resiliency Training has been awesome. I truly credit the stuff I am doing in RT as the reason I am doing nanowrimo this year and not just longing for it. I feel so different from September in all the best ways I have more ease and more hope. Woot!

self care despair

I am having one of those "busy weeks". You know the kind. In fact if you are a mother with several children under 12 you probably have them frequently.

This week we are closing on the lake house and work, well let's just say, they are loading it on. I am exhausted. Too exhausted to do the stuff that will make me feel better. Biking, qi gong, journaling, walking in the sunshine. All ways that have been have been tested, that I know make me feel better. But I am too tired to do them, all the while knowing that if I did at least some of them I would not feel as tired.

I just feel stuck [and tired] I know I am not alone, this web page calls attention to this problem. It' s always nice to know you are not alone with a problem. I think that can tone down the guilt but it seems that this is one of those things we all have to solve in our unique way.

We all have different jobs and family structures and so forth. I hope being present and aware and thoughtful and listening to yourself is the way to go. But again it is so hard to do when you are so tired. It makes things that should be joyful stressful. Like is throwing a dinner party wonderful or stressful? How about a lake house? A trip to India? Stress really sucks the joy out of stuff.

So I wanna take the joy back, maybe after a nap?

An Issue of Knitting

I recently cast on a '5 hour baby sweater' for a workmate whose baby is coming any minute. I knew it would probably take me longer than 5 hours but it would be quick enough. These are done on US 10.5 needles. I was using a double strand of sport weight yarn. [past tense indicating spoiler[

By the 6th row my hands were hurting, left more than right. I switch between continental and english styles of knitting, didn't seem to make a difference what style I was using. I was reminded of the bulky weight simple scarf I cast on last October when we had our weekend away. My hands started hurting then too, but then we came back to all the holiday hoopla and I promptly forgot all about it.

Within a 24 hour period I only did 12 rows and my hands were killing me, in fact my left thumb tingled for hours afterwards after quitting. Sunday I pulled it all out. I am totally bummed. First I have to let go of the idea of getting a sweater done for her. If I can't do it the quick and easy way it's just not going to happen. Second, I bought specific sale yarn in a color I never use [sage green] just for this project. I feel bad about 'wasting' the money. Third, why on earth do my hands hurt so much from trying to knit with bulky yarn?! Fourth, why do I feel bad about waste, when I had pure intentions and heck I cannot know the future. Fifth, I hate it when I am hard on myself, you know for being human.

I wasn't having this knit issue in 2007. I have a charity shawl on 13US needles that I work on occasionally, no problem. Heck I knitted about a dozen bulky novelty yarn scarves as favors for my wedding shower. My body has just changed. *sigh*

What else happened today? I had a 3 Novocaine shot visit to the dentist. Steady decluttering of CDs. Toseed some old make up which may not count as decluttering since I treated myself to some of my new favorite eye shadow. Still can't believe I have not only fallen in love with an eye shadow but I blog about it.

I had a great, yet surreal yoga class this evening [probably due to said novocaine]. I have managed to journal the past 2 days and it feels great. I am feeling a bit hopeful that since change will happen perhaps it will include me creating some patterns I earnestly desire. We'll see.

Is it really only Tuesday?

the wedding weekend - saturday, part I

Different format…paragraphs are confusing me right now…

-I wake up at 8 am with sweetie[maybe got 6 hours of sleep]
-breakfast promised to me by houseguests not happening, they are sleeping in
-I grab some yogurt or something
-DF and I go to chiropractor who surprises us with a lovely gift.

-When back home I realize the cake vendor never sent me final amount for payment as promised
-it pours and pours down rain
-I call cake vendor and get amount
-I make out several last minute checks for people who need to get paid that day
-head ninja [=HN] comes to be a help and is as always
-HN takes a picture of each bride in kitchen before we are off
-I make several mistakes on checks, should not try to do this day of wedding.
-DF leaves for her hair appt.

-I spend time I don’t have giving houseguests directions to various places, I am totally spacey, feel fortunate I didn’t accidentally direct them to St Louis.
-gather stuff for church, HN is a goddess-send, nothing forgotten
-rain has stopped, it’s incredibly humid and heating up
-leave door unlocked for Head usher and other ninja so that they can use house to dress in if they want.

-I am 10 minutes late for hairdresser, I apologize profusely
-HN paints her nails while my hair gets done
-HU calls and says house is locked. [DF locked it between her hair and makeup appts]
-flower girl’s [she is 26] hair is done, so she goes to unlock house and do her thing, see her at church at 2.
-hair is fabulous, and given to me as a gift by my stylist, he assures me that it will stand up to the soaring heat and humidity which is totally freakish for Minneapolis in October.

-arrive at church at 12:30, only half hour later than my planned schedule
-met by church person I am paying 25.00 an hour for 10+ hours to ‘oversee’ the building aka play computer games in the office.
-the church is fairly cool at least in the dining hall and in the sanctuary, the ‘brides room’ and the rest of building is hot and stuffy, I think to myself ‘good thing I warned people [except DF] to dress elsewhere’.
-my sister who promised to be the ‘day of coordinator’ and who has tons of experience is not there even though she was due to arrive at noon.

-church person tells me my ‘flower lady’ is up in sanctuary. I stare blankly probably with mouth open.
-then I realize it’s my florist making her delivery--duh
-I go into see florist who greets me with ‘do you have any leaves?’ more blank staring on my part, before I answer that unfortunately I do not.
-florist nods at pew bows my sister made ‘these are much too blue, they need leaves. I’ll get some’ and she strides decisively out to the street to collect leaves to insert in pew arrangements.
-I enjoy a refreshing giggle fit about leaves and the flowers all look wonderful

-photographer arrives and starts setting up
-My HN and I do our make up and get dressed, yep we are gorgeous.
-we request a fan for extremely hot bride’s room, the expensive church building supervisor cannot find one anywhere
-HU and ninja arrive not dressed and get dressed up on third floor, I’m surprised they didn’t melt

-yes it is 87 degrees and not raining.

- I realize that people being crabby or worried or late is just not bothering me, I let go
-My sisters arrive hour+ late and apologize, I'm in daze, neither one is dressed.
-it’s 1:00, df has not arrived so we can't start taking pictures
-I’m in a pleasant fog and nothing is bothering me much.

the wedding weekend - Friday

My sweetie had to work this day as well. I got up early, picked my sister up from her hotel and we went to the florist to pick up the green garland for decorating. I got to see my bouquet and it was beautiful. Picked up my other ninja who is car-less. A quick run to the store to pick up a few things and umbrellas for out of town people because it is still raining. These umbrellas were forgotten in the trunk by sister who was going to deliver them. Oh well. Her car was loaded up with stuff to take to church at 2 pm for decorating, I dropped her back at hotel.

Later that morning I picked up at airport 2 of my oldest friends from Pennsylvania. Planes are running late. We all grabbed some lunch and I tried to get organized and loaded all the rest of the stuff and 7 people into 2 cars to go to church. We were crammed to the gills. Luckily the church is only 2.5 miles away, I started laughing when I realized that the flowers from the farmer’s market were cooling on the garage floor, but even if we had remembered them we wouldn’t have had the room. We met the head ninja and usher at church, everyone unloaded and I made a quick trip with HU to transport the flowers.

Eventually everyone including my sisters arrived at church and we started decorating. We were starting hours late because the church changed the time I was allowed in at the last minute, instead of starting at 11 am we couldn’t get in until 2 pm.. After lots of work, the place is looking lovely. Everyone has an opinion but people are getting along quite well. I find out way after the fact that my sweetie was freaked out and had stopped at her parents place first because her father had been having arm pains for a couple of days and she was afraid he was having an attack [but he wouldn't get checked out]. She is relieved when her father arrives feeling fine for rehearsal. Her mother doesn’t make it, and neither does one of the bridesmaids.

By a bit after 5pm everyone not in the wedding had left, and we went up to rehearse. One of my dear nephews stayed down in the hall cleaning silverware. We were at our grubbiest. The rehearsal goes fine. I got a bit testy when people tried to mess with the processional order which was decided weeks ago and I so didn’t want to discuss it over again.

Rehearsal over we all scattered to change for dinner at sil’s house. We arrived late ourselves after changing and picking up people. Many planes arrived late, my family waited for planes to land and so arrived to rehearsal very late. My parents [both in their 80’s] were exhausted from decorating and skipped the dinner entirely.

It was a very nice dinner but we realized coming home that after the church messed up all the timing of everything we should have just canceled the rehearsal dinner, it would have been so much easier on everyone. Oh well, next time we get married we’ll know better. We realized then and there we wouldn’t be meeting anyone for brunch on Sunday morning since that was the only time we had to pack for our honeymoon. We stayed up writing notes to all the special helpers to go with the gifts we bought them.