picking a pattern and falling for fabric

So the first step on the 'sewing the new dress journey' was finding a pattern. I haven't gone pattern shopping since I was a child with my mother and I was amazed to find the process hasn't really changed. You leaf through these large books of pictures, get the number of a pattern and go to the drawer and see if they have it in stock. It was almost comforting the way it reminded me of excursions with my mum. However it was very much self serve, in my memory there were always at least a half dozen ladies working the pattern counter who could tell you anything and everything about each pattern. Seems like those saleswomen have vanished.

After an overwhelming hour I had found two dress patterns that were billed to be simple and were made to take light summer-weight fabrics. Their regular prices were 16.95 and 15.95, that had certainly changed since I was young. Since they were on sale for .99 each I bought both and left feeling like I had done a lot. I found picking out a pattern exhausting. Still it was done and they both met with my wife's approval as easy, reasonable patterns for a beginner.

A couple of days later I went to a huge warehouse of discounted fabric and started the search. My friend who is also a non-sewing child of a sewer accompanied me for support. This was even more overwhelming than finding a pattern. The huge place was hushed, the fabric absorbing all sound. We yanked out intriguing bolts and fondled many fabrics. Then we stopped by the silks and I fell in love. Naturally with one of the most expensive fabrics on the shelf. An iridescent silk dupioni, [red and olive] with lovely drape and embroidered with red fleur de lis. My brain shut down, I loved the material and I was not going to pay hundreds of dollars for it. There was no way I could sew a dress made out of that even if I could afford it. I decided to retreat for the evening before my head exploded. I was glad to get out of there.

Part of me was ready to not sew anything, ever.

new challenge

I have spent most of the week pondering a new challenge [and not blogging] Now that the decision has been made I am petrified but have the mental space to share about it.

Like so many of life's challenges I am acutely aware this would not be a big deal to many, many people. My eldest sister, mother, wife, mother-in-law included. But for me it is a huge thing, one where all my perfectionism can come and play with every body image issue. Delightful.

For all that I am going to do it. I am sewing my own dress for the next Playford ball. I hasten to add that my wife is guiding me through this process as well as teaching me how to run a sewing machine. I have used a sewing machine about 3 times in my life and it's been over 15 years since the last time. Also my mil has volunteered her vast expertise, luckily she will be up visiting mid February, right in time to help me lay out and cut the silk.

So tomorrow: adventures buying pattern and fabric.

pattern: angst and indecision

*spell check is flaking out on me for this post, good spellers read at your own risk*

As a personal gift from her Godmother I made Kat a sweet cross stitch for her bedroom. This was the first time in years that I have cross stitched and I enjoyed it.

So last week I was packing for four days at the cotttage and I had a brilliant thought. Why not bring up that garden cross stitch pattern that I love but have never started. It's the perfect, rewarding way to celebrate a long weekend up at the cottage.

So I look for it. I have all my craft stuff in 3 boxes in my office closet. It's a bit jumbled together but at least it is fairly well contained. The pattern is not there. I then look in a couple of places where I occasionally stash craft stuff in case it had migrated elsewhere without me remembering. Not there. Then I start tearing my closet apart looking into everything on the off chance I put it in something else but close by...then I start tearing apart my office...by the time my frezied looking spread to the hall closet I was tearing up. It was so frustrating, especially since I am a fairly organized person. Does this mean I get more frustrated with myself than care free types would? It was such a huge dissapointment, ever since I had thought of taking it I really looked forward to it.

I had an angry argument with myself when I couldn't find it. [no one else to blame] then I started panicking, what if it was gone for good? I couldn't even remember the designer off hand, and what if it was no longer available? The glass was not half full that day.

But I remembered enough to find it online [after our weekend] fairly easily. It is still available, and now I faced with the sure knowledge that if I buy it again I will surely find my old copy immediately afterwards. And now I am second guessing myself, do I really want to do this pattern? Perhaps I should buy one of the other ones? Perhaps the reason I didn't start it for all these years is because I didn't really want to do it?

So it has kind of ended happily. The pattern is not gone forever but now that I am removed from the immediate gratification [potential] of the moment I don't know what I want to do. Perhaps after my PMS is over the answer will come to me. I can't seem to make a decision, any decisions, at this moment.