I had a story in my head this morning. I was sure one thing or the other was going to happen. The first option I didn't really want to happen, but I thought it probably would. The second I wanted to happen but it seemed unlikely. Then I opened my computer up and surprise! a third option had happened. I was stunned, I reacted and then I laughed out loud. Then for the next hour I giggled every time I thought of how stunned I had been that I did not accurately predict the future.
You know because usually I totally can predict the future...er wait, no I can't. [ I can't read minds either] Yet there I was getting wrapped up in the stories my mind can spin. Forgetting that there are options that I can't even imagine that are just as likely to happen.
The actual story scenario is not important, because the story can be about anything. What your boss will say if you are late. Whether someone will ask you to dance. If someone will remember your birthday. So often I am stuck in a story of my own making, dreading something, or perhaps having huge expectations. Totally unaware, asleep to the world.
Completely forgetting that not buying into my internal stories, not creating a story in the first place is also an option. I could just see what happens, you know, when it actually happens. Then I could decide how I want to respond to what happens. Is it possible to remember the absolute infinity of the world and other people's actions around us? Ah well.
I did get a fabulous laugh out of it.
In other news the piece of fiction I am actually writing; word count: 66,356
A story to continue.
Showing posts with label therapy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label therapy. Show all posts
heart2heart
First my word count: 12627
Next weekend report:
It was an exhausting weekend. The weather was glorious. I found to my sorrow that different people define the word retreat differently.
While the word retreat made me think of some organized activity interspersed with relaxing hours for quiet reflection and dreaming by the lake while eating food I didn't need to cook.
Others may use the word retreat when they mean 'intensive tiring 2 day couple workshop' that will leave you wrung out but will be especially helpful if you have been feeling disconnected from your partner or if you are having couple issues. And the food will be mediocre cafeteria type food but you won't need to cook it.
Don't get me wrong it was not bad in any way. The leaders did a beautiful, loving job crafting the workshop but it was exhausting and I really needed more quiet rejuvenating. My wife and I do couple's therapy and virtually all that was covered in the workshops we have 'imago dialogued' about in therapy so it was affirming but nothing really new came out.
We are also introverts and we just need more down time then a lot of people. So that disconnect was a bit disappointing. But oh well, it was just a misunderstanding, mostly on my part. It pretty much took Monday for us to recover. And now we know. It can be tough being an over worked introvert. I will hope for an easier time for the rest of the month.
Back to writing for me!
Next weekend report:
It was an exhausting weekend. The weather was glorious. I found to my sorrow that different people define the word retreat differently.
While the word retreat made me think of some organized activity interspersed with relaxing hours for quiet reflection and dreaming by the lake while eating food I didn't need to cook.
Others may use the word retreat when they mean 'intensive tiring 2 day couple workshop' that will leave you wrung out but will be especially helpful if you have been feeling disconnected from your partner or if you are having couple issues. And the food will be mediocre cafeteria type food but you won't need to cook it.
Don't get me wrong it was not bad in any way. The leaders did a beautiful, loving job crafting the workshop but it was exhausting and I really needed more quiet rejuvenating. My wife and I do couple's therapy and virtually all that was covered in the workshops we have 'imago dialogued' about in therapy so it was affirming but nothing really new came out.
We are also introverts and we just need more down time then a lot of people. So that disconnect was a bit disappointing. But oh well, it was just a misunderstanding, mostly on my part. It pretty much took Monday for us to recover. And now we know. It can be tough being an over worked introvert. I will hope for an easier time for the rest of the month.
Back to writing for me!
Run away
My fiancée turned to me and said ‘we could elope’. I smiled. My niece warned ‘you won’t get your deposits back.’ Ah, now there is a reason not to elope… the money loss.
Wedding planning is both stressful and a big job. At times I have felt completely overwhelmed, disconnected from the rest of my life and cranky. My therapist said months ago that weddings bring out both the best and worst in people, and that is certainly true. It is definitely bringing out the best in me, and probably the worst as well when it comes to fears and internalized homophobia and taking some things way too personally and needing to take good care of myself.
It is something I think I will only do once in my life. I listen wonderingly to people who plan multiple weddings and nod in agreement with people who say ‘never again, once is enough’.
All in all though, here I am almost done and amazed with the whole process. It unfolded in some ways just as I thought. Some things came together with amazing synchronicity. Some people who I never thought of helped us in amazing ways, some people who I was counting on totally melted down to puddles. My fiancée and I went through a gamut of emotions and still are. But we are almost there and we are getting married. Sometimes it is like riding a runaway horse. It is awesome!
Wedding planning is both stressful and a big job. At times I have felt completely overwhelmed, disconnected from the rest of my life and cranky. My therapist said months ago that weddings bring out both the best and worst in people, and that is certainly true. It is definitely bringing out the best in me, and probably the worst as well when it comes to fears and internalized homophobia and taking some things way too personally and needing to take good care of myself.
It is something I think I will only do once in my life. I listen wonderingly to people who plan multiple weddings and nod in agreement with people who say ‘never again, once is enough’.
All in all though, here I am almost done and amazed with the whole process. It unfolded in some ways just as I thought. Some things came together with amazing synchronicity. Some people who I never thought of helped us in amazing ways, some people who I was counting on totally melted down to puddles. My fiancée and I went through a gamut of emotions and still are. But we are almost there and we are getting married. Sometimes it is like riding a runaway horse. It is awesome!
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