Run away

My fiancée turned to me and said ‘we could elope’. I smiled. My niece warned ‘you won’t get your deposits back.’ Ah, now there is a reason not to elope… the money loss.

Wedding planning is both stressful and a big job. At times I have felt completely overwhelmed, disconnected from the rest of my life and cranky. My therapist said months ago that weddings bring out both the best and worst in people, and that is certainly true. It is definitely bringing out the best in me, and probably the worst as well when it comes to fears and internalized homophobia and taking some things way too personally and needing to take good care of myself.

It is something I think I will only do once in my life. I listen wonderingly to people who plan multiple weddings and nod in agreement with people who say ‘never again, once is enough’.

All in all though, here I am almost done and amazed with the whole process. It unfolded in some ways just as I thought. Some things came together with amazing synchronicity. Some people who I never thought of helped us in amazing ways, some people who I was counting on totally melted down to puddles. My fiancée and I went through a gamut of emotions and still are. But we are almost there and we are getting married. Sometimes it is like riding a runaway horse. It is awesome!


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