wedding planning weariness

my tiredness with thinking about this wedding has reached new sleepy heights. To be fair, it's not so much the wedding planning but the planning along with everything else in 'life'. I realized a few weeks ago that if I just didn't have that pesky 'working for a living' thing to do I could handle the stress and lists quite well :)

our reception combo cancelled last week. 'something more important came up' and they were gone with nary an apology. this lack of apology sucked but I think we'll be able to find another jazz combo and if not that's why the goddess invented mp3 players.

it's given me a bit of paranoia though..."the caterer hasn't answered my last email in a week, oh no maybe something more important came up for her..." so not rational of me but oh so human.

I am so looking forward to our vacation later this summer. I realize how lucky I am to get a paid vacation and to be able to enjoy it with my sweetie. Even better we'll be camping far from civilization, my to do list will shrink to 'eat breakfast, attend workshop, nap, walk labyrinth, and save seat for concert. Sounds lovely.

my mother has stopped asking me when my shower will be, thank goodness, because I have no idea what date in August or July will be picked. [are they planning on surprising me?] I have a list of tasks to do and none are too overwhelming, it's more the number of them. things are just swirling around. shoes that are comfortable to wear for hours [not found yet], our private ceremony in canada, our honeymoon, unpacking stuff, trying to make deadlines at work, mulch the new flower beds, considering whether to invite born again relatives...

I am finding my engagement requires a lot of energy for processing. even if I don't share it with those around me. now that I think on it that's probably why I am so sleepy. that may also be why there is not much point to this post. my dad would probably ask me if I am getting enough iron. Here I am in my second engagement trimester, and it's like being pregnant in some ways. For sure you need extra sleep!


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