whirlwind day

Well -- it's March today. February ended with slushy, soggy, messy snow so it's lovely to have it be March and remember Spring is less that 3 weeks away.

It was a busy full day today, including the dentist, and in the evening I volunteered to teach a few women knitting. This was fun and a challenge. One woman has been practicing for 2 weeks and wanted to learn how to perl and the other two had never picked up needles. It was a bit hard to try to show it all.

When the self talk of the two beginners got really negative I felt at a loss. I didn't want to contradict their feelings. But I also wanted to remind them of reality -- when you are trying to learn a new thing it is hard. That's how new things are, there is no fault. I want to say more about this but I realize I'm too tired. I have been noticing my tiredness pattern lately.

Sigh. Hand on heart and deep bow to all the teachers in my life. And off to bed. xo

sleep is missing

Before I forget, go grill some veggies. Don't wait, you'll love it. They are to die for that way. The kohlrabi was exquisite grilled. I found myself munching on a piece while I was getting ready for work even.

We have mostly eaten our way through the huge amount of veggies we had in the fridge. Which is good because our roommate is coming home from France and she needs to be able to get her food in there.

This is the tiredest I have been in a long time. Is tiredest even a word? I can't even tell at this point. I am doing some preparatory training for work remotely with the people in India. Since they are 10.5 hours ahead of us I was waking myself up at 4 am, so that I could start my class at 5:30. Now I am a zombie. Friday I get to wake up even earlier.

It is very strange training long distance, especially when you can't actually see the people who you are training. I just realized it's a little bit like blogging. hmm, I would think about that if I was able. As it is I think I'll just go sit in a heap until bedtime, maybe stare at the garden.

the wedding weekend - Friday

My sweetie had to work this day as well. I got up early, picked my sister up from her hotel and we went to the florist to pick up the green garland for decorating. I got to see my bouquet and it was beautiful. Picked up my other ninja who is car-less. A quick run to the store to pick up a few things and umbrellas for out of town people because it is still raining. These umbrellas were forgotten in the trunk by sister who was going to deliver them. Oh well. Her car was loaded up with stuff to take to church at 2 pm for decorating, I dropped her back at hotel.

Later that morning I picked up at airport 2 of my oldest friends from Pennsylvania. Planes are running late. We all grabbed some lunch and I tried to get organized and loaded all the rest of the stuff and 7 people into 2 cars to go to church. We were crammed to the gills. Luckily the church is only 2.5 miles away, I started laughing when I realized that the flowers from the farmer’s market were cooling on the garage floor, but even if we had remembered them we wouldn’t have had the room. We met the head ninja and usher at church, everyone unloaded and I made a quick trip with HU to transport the flowers.

Eventually everyone including my sisters arrived at church and we started decorating. We were starting hours late because the church changed the time I was allowed in at the last minute, instead of starting at 11 am we couldn’t get in until 2 pm.. After lots of work, the place is looking lovely. Everyone has an opinion but people are getting along quite well. I find out way after the fact that my sweetie was freaked out and had stopped at her parents place first because her father had been having arm pains for a couple of days and she was afraid he was having an attack [but he wouldn't get checked out]. She is relieved when her father arrives feeling fine for rehearsal. Her mother doesn’t make it, and neither does one of the bridesmaids.

By a bit after 5pm everyone not in the wedding had left, and we went up to rehearse. One of my dear nephews stayed down in the hall cleaning silverware. We were at our grubbiest. The rehearsal goes fine. I got a bit testy when people tried to mess with the processional order which was decided weeks ago and I so didn’t want to discuss it over again.

Rehearsal over we all scattered to change for dinner at sil’s house. We arrived late ourselves after changing and picking up people. Many planes arrived late, my family waited for planes to land and so arrived to rehearsal very late. My parents [both in their 80’s] were exhausted from decorating and skipped the dinner entirely.

It was a very nice dinner but we realized coming home that after the church messed up all the timing of everything we should have just canceled the rehearsal dinner, it would have been so much easier on everyone. Oh well, next time we get married we’ll know better. We realized then and there we wouldn’t be meeting anyone for brunch on Sunday morning since that was the only time we had to pack for our honeymoon. We stayed up writing notes to all the special helpers to go with the gifts we bought them.

the wedding weekend -thursday

Here is the first post on the last days of my engagement.

I was extremely short on sleep this day 10/4 because late Wednesday night that I found a huge error on the program [I left out a major wedding party name] and ended up having to reprint 80 pages. This went slowly, since I was printing at high quality on a photo printer. Some there thought I was wacko for correcting the error at all, I could see their point, I calmly listened to their advice but explained that it was very important to me that those who were putting themselves out for us that day be in the program [or what is the point of programs]. I’m glad I caught the error then not Friday night, but I feel bad about the paper wastage. I did my best to not feel jealous of houseguests who were getting way more sleep than I was. It rained quite a bit that week. My mum assured me on 10/2 that it would not rain during the wedding 10/6, I am not sure why I cared so much about the weather. We were not getting married outside. My sweetie had to work all wedding week until about 3:30 on Friday. She did her best to help and run errands in the little time she had that week.

I got up early Thursday to pick up flowers for centerpieces and other decorations from the farmer’s market. Mum [florist in residence] came along to inspect, Dad to help carry. Daisy/mums, snaps, ivy, alstromeria and hypericum berries. We were only getting the 6 bouquets, the corsages for family and one big vase from the florist.
I ran over to the paper depot to get another pen for my chief ninja who wanted plum for the printing on the table designators. I did some work from home [paid work]

My eldest sister flew in late that morning to help. My super niece had already been in town for over a week helping and visiting, the head ninja showed up to help as well. My sister dived right in to updating the pew bows with berries and copper ribbon. My mom makes all the boutonnières using copper mums from the plant we bought weeks ago.

There was a lot of stamping that I think was continuing on that day, not by me. There were many leaves stamped on programs, cookie bags, escort cards etc, and the table designators were all leaves. “aspen table, birch table, beech table”. The afternoon is kind of a blur, but I did make it to yoga early that evening which was just what I needed. Then the evening is kind of a blur too, I know I was doing a lot of printing of menus, maps and so forth. And decided gift bags = nice idea that wasn’t going to happen. Let it go…

I know that evening I stamped the 20 drink/appetizer/menu cards myself. It was something I really wanted to do since everyone else had fun stamping while I was minding the printer and I wanted to give it a whirl. They did turn out lovely. Basically all crafty stuff was done by Thursday bed. No honeymoon packing got done. I got to bed late, no one could understand why I wasn’t getting more sleep and really I don’t get it either. Everyone else got more. It was like I wasn’t able to articulate the help I needed due to… stress or something.

Flowery Conditions

My fiancée and I love flowers! And today we picked up the flowers we ordered for the centerpieces. My mother who worked as a florist for years is doing the arrangements. It should be lovely and simple and fun. They are all coppery yellow, and red and creams with plum specks. There is ivy and garland. Tomorrow, I’ll see the bouquets, and I can’t wait. The boutonnières are wonderful copper mums.

All the family is coming in, everyone is talking and everything seems very loud. Most stuff is done and the few things that aren’t probably aren’t that important.. I know what I am wearing to get married in Canada.

The forecast for the weather on Saturday is improving. My mom said days ago, don't worry it won't rain. I hope she is right, I scan the weather sites anxiously at least once a day like that will somehow change things.

There is such an outpouring of love with a tiny bit of crankiness and bossiness all around. It’s a fabulous experience. There are all kinds of secret surprises hovering in the background. I just need to try to get more sleep to enjoy it. My yoga and chi gong do help. So I am off to do just that!

wedding planning weariness

my tiredness with thinking about this wedding has reached new sleepy heights. To be fair, it's not so much the wedding planning but the planning along with everything else in 'life'. I realized a few weeks ago that if I just didn't have that pesky 'working for a living' thing to do I could handle the stress and lists quite well :)

our reception combo cancelled last week. 'something more important came up' and they were gone with nary an apology. this lack of apology sucked but I think we'll be able to find another jazz combo and if not that's why the goddess invented mp3 players.

it's given me a bit of paranoia though..."the caterer hasn't answered my last email in a week, oh no maybe something more important came up for her..." so not rational of me but oh so human.

I am so looking forward to our vacation later this summer. I realize how lucky I am to get a paid vacation and to be able to enjoy it with my sweetie. Even better we'll be camping far from civilization, my to do list will shrink to 'eat breakfast, attend workshop, nap, walk labyrinth, and save seat for concert. Sounds lovely.

my mother has stopped asking me when my shower will be, thank goodness, because I have no idea what date in August or July will be picked. [are they planning on surprising me?] I have a list of tasks to do and none are too overwhelming, it's more the number of them. things are just swirling around. shoes that are comfortable to wear for hours [not found yet], our private ceremony in canada, our honeymoon, unpacking stuff, trying to make deadlines at work, mulch the new flower beds, considering whether to invite born again relatives...

I am finding my engagement requires a lot of energy for processing. even if I don't share it with those around me. now that I think on it that's probably why I am so sleepy. that may also be why there is not much point to this post. my dad would probably ask me if I am getting enough iron. Here I am in my second engagement trimester, and it's like being pregnant in some ways. For sure you need extra sleep!