I like to think I am a person who isn't routine bound but I guess I depend on them at the same time. Mondays, which I usually have off, are days where I recover, write and recharge.
Today though I needed to spend half the day in the office, it didn't seem like a big deal but now the day is almost over and I have felt off all day. I haven't gotten anything done or at least that is how it seems. But I don't feel badly about it, just vaguely confused. It's like it's a lost day and I am waiting for my normal Monday to come around.
I have also been waiting about news about my friend. I don't know whether I should be concerned that I have not heard an update since last week. I feel fearful and silly at the same time. I dread what I may hear if I call but at the same time it's so silly to dread something that may not have even happened... Hmmmm.
I certainly have that human habit of pain avoidance. Off to be gentle with myself and maybe make a call.
One of my laughs today "Meditation. It's not what you think"
Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts
depletion
I realized today if I wait for things to return to a more normal state I may not blog again for a month. Hell no. At the same time I don't want this to become a 'should'.
So I think I'll try for the short quick snippets just like it was nanowrimo time. [Only 40 days until nanowrimo, are you ready?]
An old friend had a massive stroke a little over a week ago. It's been a big, painful, tense time period. I am at a loss in many ways. Strokes don't run in my family so I know very little about them. But I am shocked and dismayed at how quickly and completely a health crisis can change a person's life. I knew this intellectually of course, but it's different to be seeing it first hand. Any calm that I retained is solely because of mettā. I hope everyone has someone to hug and feel grateful for this day.
So I think I'll try for the short quick snippets just like it was nanowrimo time. [Only 40 days until nanowrimo, are you ready?]
An old friend had a massive stroke a little over a week ago. It's been a big, painful, tense time period. I am at a loss in many ways. Strokes don't run in my family so I know very little about them. But I am shocked and dismayed at how quickly and completely a health crisis can change a person's life. I knew this intellectually of course, but it's different to be seeing it first hand. Any calm that I retained is solely because of mettā. I hope everyone has someone to hug and feel grateful for this day.
Hair Today
So there seems to big a hair component to weddings. Or I could just speak for myself and say there is certainly a hair component to mine.
One of my attendants who has some of the most beautiful hair in the world is very nervous about how her hair is going to look for the wedding. My other attendant got hers done in a special color on the optimum day before the wedding. . I know that I don’t want to wear a veil but I don’t want to wear my hair the same every day way. This is not a simple option. Veils are the simple option. Even my fiancée is planning something for her naturally wavy locks which she is not sharing. I have no idea.
I had to have ‘test’ hair done since I was so unclear what I wanted to do. I panicked when I realized fresh flowers would not actually look good in my hair. I taught myself how to make my own hair vine. [Heck, I may start offering them online for brides who don’t want to pay an ungodly amount for one] I got a migraine from all the ‘product’ that was put into my hair and had to wash it out an hour later thereby ruining some of the ‘test’.
Perhaps it isn’t really about hair though. Or the fact that dozens of pictures will be taken.. Maybe hair is just the medium in which all of our nervousness can express itself. Because we are nervous and excited. We want to look good, we want to show this is a special day for us. We don’t want to cringe at the pictures afterwards that will help jog our memories.
We can’t quite believe we are doing this. We sometimes wish we were just eloping. We feel honored that so many friends and family are going to so much effort, are supporting and loving us. We are a bit sad the journey is almost over. We are quite tired. We want to have a great time. We are shocked at some of the things people say. We need a vacation.
Basically it’s a lot. And it seems that when we are overloaded we divert ourselves by focusing on hair. I now have a new understanding and attraction to wigs.
One of my attendants who has some of the most beautiful hair in the world is very nervous about how her hair is going to look for the wedding. My other attendant got hers done in a special color on the optimum day before the wedding. . I know that I don’t want to wear a veil but I don’t want to wear my hair the same every day way. This is not a simple option. Veils are the simple option. Even my fiancée is planning something for her naturally wavy locks which she is not sharing. I have no idea.
I had to have ‘test’ hair done since I was so unclear what I wanted to do. I panicked when I realized fresh flowers would not actually look good in my hair. I taught myself how to make my own hair vine. [Heck, I may start offering them online for brides who don’t want to pay an ungodly amount for one] I got a migraine from all the ‘product’ that was put into my hair and had to wash it out an hour later thereby ruining some of the ‘test’.
Perhaps it isn’t really about hair though. Or the fact that dozens of pictures will be taken.. Maybe hair is just the medium in which all of our nervousness can express itself. Because we are nervous and excited. We want to look good, we want to show this is a special day for us. We don’t want to cringe at the pictures afterwards that will help jog our memories.
We can’t quite believe we are doing this. We sometimes wish we were just eloping. We feel honored that so many friends and family are going to so much effort, are supporting and loving us. We are a bit sad the journey is almost over. We are quite tired. We want to have a great time. We are shocked at some of the things people say. We need a vacation.
Basically it’s a lot. And it seems that when we are overloaded we divert ourselves by focusing on hair. I now have a new understanding and attraction to wigs.
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