apprehension and routines

I like to think I am a person who isn't routine bound but I guess I depend on them at the same time. Mondays, which I usually have off, are days where I recover, write and recharge.

Today though I needed to spend half the day in the office, it didn't seem like a big deal but now the day is almost over and I have felt off all day. I haven't gotten anything done or at least that is how it seems. But I don't feel badly about it, just vaguely confused. It's like it's a lost day and I am waiting for my normal Monday to come around.

I have also been waiting about news about my friend. I don't know whether I should be concerned that I have not heard an update since last week. I feel fearful and silly at the same time. I dread what I may hear if I call but at the same time it's so silly to dread something that may not have even happened... Hmmmm.

I certainly have that human habit of pain avoidance. Off to be gentle with myself and maybe make a call.

One of my laughs today "Meditation. It's not what you think"