It's craptastic

This has been one of those weeks where I really need to chicken, else I'll end up climbing into a black hole of a hormonal well that may take me the rest of the summer from which to escape. [how many people just winced reading that...or maybe ducked and ran for cover..?]

what was hard:
-having to work part of my normal day off.
It was unpleasant but manageable until the week kept getting worse.
-at work, layoffs coming, people in 'my' position by 25%
This had everyone in pain, frustration, anger. It was almost impossible to shield it out. Thanks to my metaphor I can deal with the effect on me personally fairly well. When dealing with work=active addict my expectations are low. But the huge waves of anger and depression from everyone were everywhere. I felt like I was trying to swim in it and almost drowning. And what would be better; being one of those left with a huger amount of work or being one of those trying to find a new job? I can't even tell anymore.
-someone guessed my age at 15 years higher than it is
This just left me flabbergasted. It was the day of the above work announcement which must have also resulted in me looking like death.
-things all felt off
I couldn't get into a flow for anything. I dropped things, forgot things, was tired no matter how much sleep I did or didn't get. Combination of stress universe at work and mercury retrograde?
-Poison ivy
probably from my dog, since I did not tramp around in the woods last weekend like others did. so itchy.
-pms hormones made all of the above feel worse and personal

Wow, I hated typing all that out, it's been a such a week. But this helps me remember there were good nay great parts to the week as well.

What was good:

-3 days of perfect summer weather.
highs in the mid 70's with sun and a breeze. 3 days of weather happy.
-I love virgos!
and the virgo birthday season has started which includes some of my bestest friends. There have been presents and phone calls and chocolate soufflé and dinners out. Celebrations!
-my wife and family and friends
I am so fortunate to have a large network of people who have the time to talk with me, reassure me, and love me even when part of me feels like I'm choking on stress [and apparently look about 87 years old] and really exaggerating.
-in the midst of it all I was able to find space and be nice to me, sometimes.
sure I would love it if I could do it all the time and with ease, but still I could feel compassion and I could laugh and I could read silly adventure stories to distract myself.
-the tomatoes
my garden isn't producing many but they are glorious, and lucky me, others more blessed have been sending some my way, both fresh and salsa.

I hope this ritual wrapper helps me start the next week fresh. New starts to all who need them...share if you want about your week. I'd love to hear it.


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