unexpected gifts

Today I received the gift of "Strength to Transform in the Midst of Full Catastrophe". Now I am no where near a full catastrophe but it's nice to know it's there if needed.

warm wishes for smooth times.

My favorite won

So there was an election last week, did you all know?

Of course you knew, I wonder if there was anyway to live in this country and not know? I did my best to hold to my new years resolution of 'view no political tv ads' but one slipped by me, it was so pleasant and non-strident I didn't realize what it was until it was almost over. Oh and one slipped by online as well. [does that count?]

Still it's a good resolution which I will keep striving towards. I pity anyone living in Ohio, I hear the ad wars were hell there.

So if you have been reading me these past years you know that politics is not my thing. You may make some guesses about the causes that interest me and you would probably be right... and of course I am pleased about what happened in Maryland, Maine, Minnesota and Washington. I believe that all [tax paying] adults should have the same rights. Ok even if you don't pay taxes.

Even without the ad watching I still had to witness people freaking out and it was painful. I may get teary-eyed over the possibility of my third wedding [to the same woman] but the real highlight for me was this

 --- Math won.   xkcd says it best  

So happy about the Math I forgot to report on my word count => 14780 words.  I always seem to fall behind when I go out of town, not too worried.

happy, happy April [so far]

I have noticed that March was light on the blogging. Not sure what to attribute that to --travel perhaps. I do know that I miss it when I am not here. [Here at home and here on the blog!]

It is April and I am in a fabulous mood. Everywhere I turn my attention I notice happy stuff. I want to list some of it here. Actually I want to list it, then print it then eat the list, I love so much right now. Which sounds even crazier now I see it in print. *shrug*

Today I ate lunch outside, by my waterfall which was turned on and it was blissful. Lunch was a tuna and sprout sandwich with sorrel from my herb garden. It wintered over fine. Yummy. I was gifted some raw milk, which is one of my favorite things and have been delighted with every glass. Loving treats.

The pear trees are blooming as are the strawberries. The delphiniums are eight inches high. I can sit on my bench in the herb garden again. The city changed how we recycle garden waste. They now allow containers and I am so glad about that. The friends plant sale listing is out. Yay plants!

My house guests were here for most of the week. All last week I was braced for something to 'go wrong' with travel plans but it didn't! They came, they were awesome and it was wonderful. Of course they couldn't stay forever but I am not dwelling on the leaving part.

The knitting group I envisioned for Ascension Place got started by someone else. Now I can take joyful part in it and not have to organize it. I have been finding the space for my knitting and enjoying it a lot. 

I was feeling some stress again about finding light-weight pants for this summer but I have found someone to make them for me out of linen. It will be so awesome and I am so relieved. I will be able to deal with the heat if it comes.

I could just babble on and on today -- friends, family, spring, plants, animals are all so enjoyable. It's amazing to have this period of delight. Wishing delight to all. Share if you want about something fabulous. xo

I love trees

I love being near trees, leaning on them, listening to them drip. Being surrounded. Even when caterpillars drop down, still I feel deep tree love.

They are great models for deep listening.

I love paintings and photos of trees as well. There is a treehouse inside each one.

xox

Baby #5 is born

Today I got the best news. A new baby in the family was born in the most joyful, ease-filled way at noon.

Babies! So sweet and tiny and amazingly loud. The only downside is that this one lives too far away for me to be able to rush over and hug it right now. That part leaves me feeling a bit sad. It won't be brand new by the time I see it. sigh

I also finished some knitting for a different baby and spent all day petting it, the sweater, as baby has not yet appeared. Babies!

These past 3 years have been wonderfully baby-filled. Here's hoping something wonderful drops into your life.

so if it's not an iPad

Wonder no more. It's a MacBook Air 11.

Although it's been a long time the only computers that I have ever owned, not given to me by work, have been Apples.

First impressions in the first 24 hours: I like it. Easy to use, my fingers only took about 15 minutes to get used to the Mac OS again.

Nice keyboard, nice screen. Freakishly light. Dainty even. I am rather afraid I could accidentally harm it. I need a nice padded sleeve. I look forward to traveling with it.

I wonder how I'll do without the optical drive, probably fine... or else a super drive is in my future.

It's rather freeing after 7+ years to have my own computer again. I'll have to check in after a month or so. I am certainly ready for nanowrimo this year.

poetry chide?

On Monday I shared what I consider a beautiful joyful poem. One that really touched my heart. I was really surprised later when someone asked me if I was sending them a hidden message.

It is a message in a way, but not hidden. The message was kind of 'hey, this is it, our lives and they are wonderful'. But that's not what the questioner got from it. They felt scolded, chided even though they also thought the poem was beautiful.

And I felt sad. So please everyone if you wondered, I am not scolding anyone, not even myself. I am just trying to wake up and remember. If the poem can help you take a few deep breaths and have a few moments of peaceful appreciation great. If not then I respect where you are right now, seriously.

endings can be fabulous

So many times I dread an ending. When something horrible ends I find that I frequently forget to celebrate the ending of it. Even if I have comforted myself with the thought 'that everything changes' while in the midst of it.

Yesterday I was reminded that endings can be really lovely happy things. I can't help but rejoice for our country and I am so grateful to hear this good news. In fact, like everything right now, it moves me to tears-happy ones.

I find myself wanting to acknowledge this moment but not having many words. Existence is not fair we all know, but it is nice to rejoice in justice.
I wish you all a happy, peaceful week if that is what you would enjoy.

change of season

Yesterday, the first day of autumn, was a day of near constant rain, windy and oddly mild in temperature. Today the wind is roaring, it's cooler and things are drying out a bit even with the heavy clouds. This is a good thing because I was distracted and let the interior of my car get soaked yesterday.

The rain reminded me of how much I enjoy a warm rain in the woods. The pattering of rain on the many leaves of the trees is sublime. Moving through the cottage listening to that sound casts a special magic of it's own. Cozy and refreshing.

I could certainly use some cozy warmth right now. It's been a stressful month in many ways. And there is just a week left, I can't believe it's almost October. My wish for you all; some coziness and comfort. Perhaps a big pot of soup of your choice?

Austrian plum blazers

Being a big fan of the Winter Olympics [Summer not so much] I am delighted when they start. although I end up seeing very little. This year I may have some time to watch some events. I plan on doing my de-cluttering this month to an Olympic background which should be fun. I love that 'high' I get when I throw stuff away. A huge pile got sorted this afternoon. Olympics are also the perfect background for taxes I think. If I had been organized I might have signed up for the knitting olympics and knitted something for myself [a real challenge for me]. Oh well something to keep in mind for 2014.

I saw some of the opening ceremonies, those guys in suits giving speeches made me feel like I was in a meeting at work. One of my favorite parts, the plum blazers the Austrian team women wore. [can't find a better picture] I would love one. Now I am totally laughing at myself that the clothing stuck in my mind of all things. It looked like a really nice blazer.

Still feeling happy and resilient, totally rocks.

missing apartment living?

I wouldn't have guessed that anything could make me miss living in an apartment building. I haven't lived in one for a very long time but I remember that not having a basement bothered me [didn't matter if the building itself had a basement] I think that is because I grew up with one.
I digress, I think this in which Susanne Gilsing took pictures of her own and 12 of her neighbors living rooms is so cool. I am not even sure why I love this so much, but I do. It actually makes me miss living in an apartment! It makes me want to pick up my camera. It fills that women&art void that the museum left in me a bit.

I hope you enjoy it as well.

in the mourning

One thing I think we are lacking in our culture is space for mourning. Perhaps because it is sad and not fun and quiet and lasts awhile. It is linked with discomfort.  So it is brushed under the rug. Or it comes out sideways as anger or something else. I am not saying that mourning is lovely and I enjoy doing it but I want to acknowledge that mourning comes with changes and is inescapable like change itself.

Most people will at least accept that mourning is part of a 'negative' change like death or divorce, but few seem to think of the mourning that goes along with anything ending. You buy your first house, you love it and you can't wait to live there. You are probably going to mourn something about your last home. Even if it's the color of paint on the walls.

I am so happy to be marrying my sweetie but I still mourn things. I mourn my much cleaner apartment. I mourn looking around my home and just seeing me, my stuff. I mourn the mental space that I had that is now given to compromising, connecting and communicating. I don't want things to be any different, they'll change soon enough, but still I miss stuff from my past.

These are not pleasant feelings and it would be so easy to just shove them away under planning and details and duties. But that makes me feel sadder. I loved my last apartment, I loved not seeing anyone else's mess. I notice that committing to someone full time does take time. Certainly my 'me time' has changed in quantity. I miss casualness. I appreciate that time and place in my past. and I am not going to just walk away without saying good bye and it might take me a while.