making space

Since the weather heated up I stopped meditating in my herb garden. It was just too hot.

By the way have I mentioned how much I love that garden and my seat/arbor? I am thinking about throwing a little garden party just to have more people enjoy it.

Anyway, then I wrestled for weeks about where I wanted to meditate and I realized that what I really wanted to do was to change/clean/rearrange and fix up my office* so that I had a designated meditation space.

Granted it took me awhile to realize that even so it's been several weeks and it feels like the project is moving super slowly. I'm not sure why. Some possibilities are:

-it's a bigger job than I realized.
-I'm running into things that need to move on and I am having 'issues' with that
-I'm just tired and I need a break/vacation before.

It's about space. I frequently feel like there is too little of it, feel cramped, crowded...
and that leads right to feeling defended. sometimes anyway.

And I realize that being outdoors is a way of combating this that I do all the time.
Except not recently, I been feeling hateful about the weather which got in the way of spacious enjoyment. It's a big circle really because meditation supports my love of outside space.

so to summarize...it may just be all PMS.

*office is the name I give the room that is my personal space