Pork. yep that is what we are planning on serving at our dinner-dance.
It has gotten a few quirked eyebrows. We are planning a vegetarian entree for those who don't eat meat or perhaps don't eat pork for religious reasons.
How did we arrive at pork? We so didn't want to serve chicken, especially since our favorite Indian chicken dish will probably be the food highlight of the rehearsal dinner. [for us at least] We didn't want to do seafood, too many people seem to dislike it. We seriously considered Beef Bourguignonne but our caterer's pork recipes have us salivating when we read them. So I think we are going for it, we are serving pork at our wedding. Look at this description and tell me if you could have resisted...
Pork Tenderloin Medallions with Dried Cherry-Port Sauce and Blue Cheese-Pine Nut Topping
Mmmmm. Should be tasty and different. Because if there is one thing a wedding with 2 brides needs is something to make it stand out. LOL
Hopefully in my lifetime a wedding with 2 brides won't make a wedding alternative at all.
dress decisions
I have been doing lots of non wedding stuff and thinking about my dress. I was driving home one day and glanced at my e-ring on my hand and thought "I love my ring" and then suddenly I realized that I would like to feel that way about my dress if at all possible. Since I didn't love my current dress it seemed like madness to put $300+ in to alterations on the off chance it might end up being something I love. I really like the shape and the beading of the dress but that's about it. Basically it was back up dress, but a really expensive one.
I decided to forgive myself for my mistake. After all not only does everyone make mistakes but buying a wedding dress was something I had never done before, not too surprising I made a mistake. I decided I didn't want to wear it and that I would start looking for a dress I loved.
I found a dress that I really, really like for $49.97 at Nordstrom's Rack. It is the perfect back up dress. Now I can consign or donate the first one. And I am leisurely looking for one that I love. I hope I find it. But I don't feel stressed out anymore because I have this perfectly nice one, that needs very little alterations as my back up. It is flowing silk rayon material, with a greek neckline, sheath shape so I had to go up a size so it wouldn't cling in the wrong place. Burn out satin, with some beading on the front and comes with a shrug with long flowing sleeves. The straps need to be shortened by a good 2 inches, in fact I think I'll just get bigger straps put on it, and it may need a little hemming at that point. It is such a relief to have worked that out.
I even found a great pattern for an opera coat, so I have an option of getting one made in a sumptuous fabric if I find a dress that needs it.
We are trying to decide on the menu and I am working through my invitation decisions, but it's not nearly so stressful as the dress angst.
I also realize I am getting used to the idea of ivory and me.
I decided to forgive myself for my mistake. After all not only does everyone make mistakes but buying a wedding dress was something I had never done before, not too surprising I made a mistake. I decided I didn't want to wear it and that I would start looking for a dress I loved.
I found a dress that I really, really like for $49.97 at Nordstrom's Rack. It is the perfect back up dress. Now I can consign or donate the first one. And I am leisurely looking for one that I love. I hope I find it. But I don't feel stressed out anymore because I have this perfectly nice one, that needs very little alterations as my back up. It is flowing silk rayon material, with a greek neckline, sheath shape so I had to go up a size so it wouldn't cling in the wrong place. Burn out satin, with some beading on the front and comes with a shrug with long flowing sleeves. The straps need to be shortened by a good 2 inches, in fact I think I'll just get bigger straps put on it, and it may need a little hemming at that point. It is such a relief to have worked that out.
I even found a great pattern for an opera coat, so I have an option of getting one made in a sumptuous fabric if I find a dress that needs it.
We are trying to decide on the menu and I am working through my invitation decisions, but it's not nearly so stressful as the dress angst.
I also realize I am getting used to the idea of ivory and me.
Mostly about cake and guests
Wow, time is simply flying.
We decided on our baker and the cake this week. One of the nice things about the three bakers we looked at is that the price was basically the same for all, so we could really go with our preference and not take price into consideration.
We are having Patisserie Margo bake our cake. She has a bakery and only does one wedding cake per day [per weekend?]. Her confections are fabulous. Her flour less chocolate cake is the best I have ever eaten. She totally understands that we don't want things to be too sweet, that we like alternative but not artificial sweeteners and since wedding cakes are not her big focus she has the time to customize ours for us.
As it stands now we are planning on a 3 tier cake. 8", 10" and 12". Round layers. One layer Chocolate, with tart cherries and whipped cream filling, one layer almond nut cake with on filling layer of apricot puree/agave nectar cream and then the smallest layer, Guinness ginger cake with lemon/whipped cream filling. It will be frosted with vanilla Italian meringue butter cream frosting and decorated with flowers [pansies and ivy]. I feel a tiny bit fraught that we put down a deposit and didn't actually fill out an order form. We seem to be finding very laid back people to work with -- it will be a drag if it comes back and bites us on the @ss. It sounds so yummy and we should have some leftovers for later.
I also heard through my eldest sister that some a couple who I invited were thrilled to get the S-T-D and can't wait to come in October. This makes me so very happy. I hoped they would be able to make it but they said they were honoured, the sweeties. It was very good news.
My dress angst still continues. I may have a plan though. It involves fabric samples.
We decided on our baker and the cake this week. One of the nice things about the three bakers we looked at is that the price was basically the same for all, so we could really go with our preference and not take price into consideration.
We are having Patisserie Margo bake our cake. She has a bakery and only does one wedding cake per day [per weekend?]. Her confections are fabulous. Her flour less chocolate cake is the best I have ever eaten. She totally understands that we don't want things to be too sweet, that we like alternative but not artificial sweeteners and since wedding cakes are not her big focus she has the time to customize ours for us.
As it stands now we are planning on a 3 tier cake. 8", 10" and 12". Round layers. One layer Chocolate, with tart cherries and whipped cream filling, one layer almond nut cake with on filling layer of apricot puree/agave nectar cream and then the smallest layer, Guinness ginger cake with lemon/whipped cream filling. It will be frosted with vanilla Italian meringue butter cream frosting and decorated with flowers [pansies and ivy]. I feel a tiny bit fraught that we put down a deposit and didn't actually fill out an order form. We seem to be finding very laid back people to work with -- it will be a drag if it comes back and bites us on the @ss. It sounds so yummy and we should have some leftovers for later.
I also heard through my eldest sister that some a couple who I invited were thrilled to get the S-T-D and can't wait to come in October. This makes me so very happy. I hoped they would be able to make it but they said they were honoured, the sweeties. It was very good news.
My dress angst still continues. I may have a plan though. It involves fabric samples.
Fairly quiet week
Many small wedding related things happened this week. I still continue to wonder about that Ivory dress on and off.
We registered a bunch at Bed, Bath and Beyond. And decided that Home Depot for gardening stuff is somewhere DF really wants to register so we did. We ran into some of DF's family at BB&B and she took advantage of the synchronicity and asked her niece to be an attendant. I am so glad that is done. I was not slow in asking her for her dress size because as soon as I saw her again I worried about the dress I had being too big. [even though it could be easily taken in] She said she is a 4 sometimes a 6. Luckily I had no problem finding and getting a 6. I can't wait until she can try it on.
We had some great contact with friends. One of our musician friends said he would be honored to play at our ceremony, so we are delighted about that. One of my oldest friends called me on Tuesday, he is definitely coming out from Oakland. I am so delighted! All in all a great week. I think we are going to have a lovely wedding and a fun reception. 2 bakers to check out in the next 10 days, and in 6 months we'll be at our reception probably getting ready to dance. Wow. 182 days to go!
We registered a bunch at Bed, Bath and Beyond. And decided that Home Depot for gardening stuff is somewhere DF really wants to register so we did. We ran into some of DF's family at BB&B and she took advantage of the synchronicity and asked her niece to be an attendant. I am so glad that is done. I was not slow in asking her for her dress size because as soon as I saw her again I worried about the dress I had being too big. [even though it could be easily taken in] She said she is a 4 sometimes a 6. Luckily I had no problem finding and getting a 6. I can't wait until she can try it on.
We had some great contact with friends. One of our musician friends said he would be honored to play at our ceremony, so we are delighted about that. One of my oldest friends called me on Tuesday, he is definitely coming out from Oakland. I am so delighted! All in all a great week. I think we are going to have a lovely wedding and a fun reception. 2 bakers to check out in the next 10 days, and in 6 months we'll be at our reception probably getting ready to dance. Wow. 182 days to go!
first freak out
I have had time to think over the past few days and had my first official freak out about the wedding. I think it was nudged by my mother's concern that my sleeveless dress won't cover my tattoo which 'won't look very elegant'. I laughed it off but it totally fed into my 'why am I wearing a ivory dress?' thoughts. Then it just blossomed into: it's all too traditional and too weird and no one will have a nice time and why the heck are we doing this; we're gay and maybe my fiancee hates everything we planned and eloping is sounding pretty good and, and, and.
DF reassured me that the reasons we made the plans we made are still valid. We could have planned a romantic woodland ceremony but that would have been iffy in October as well as quite hard on our elderly guests. No this isn't the only type of wedding we would like but it will be nice, and then we'll have a great dinner and party afterwards.
I reassured myself that I do not have to wear the dress I bought if I decide not to. Although I think I'll love it once it is altered to me. I am not stuck with it. I can go buy dark red if I want. I basically feel more rational again so that is good. Wow weddings are something.
I also enjoyed reading Stalling's: 'offbeat Bride' and Wicoff's: 'I do but I don't'. Both quite thought provoking though coming from a straight feminist perspective is not always the same as a gay perspective.
DF reassured me that the reasons we made the plans we made are still valid. We could have planned a romantic woodland ceremony but that would have been iffy in October as well as quite hard on our elderly guests. No this isn't the only type of wedding we would like but it will be nice, and then we'll have a great dinner and party afterwards.
I reassured myself that I do not have to wear the dress I bought if I decide not to. Although I think I'll love it once it is altered to me. I am not stuck with it. I can go buy dark red if I want. I basically feel more rational again so that is good. Wow weddings are something.
I also enjoyed reading Stalling's: 'offbeat Bride' and Wicoff's: 'I do but I don't'. Both quite thought provoking though coming from a straight feminist perspective is not always the same as a gay perspective.
just some small stuff
A much quieter day and not much done, looked at or decided. It has been very nice. I love planning this wedding but I realize I also love not having to think about it at times. Yesterday was one of our 'no wedding talk' days and it was very relaxing. I actually found myself looking forward to our trip to the Michigan Women's Music Festival in August, something totally non-wedding related.
We had dinner with some friends who insisted on treating us in honor of our engagement. Very sweet gesture. I was smiling to myself thinking 'it's like our engagement party' [we didn't have an actual one, so it was very nice] fiancee keeps on adding people to the guest list. I have to really wonder how many people we are really going to end up having... We will probably need to discuss this and how we can be sure to keep our list around 80 like we planned. It seems like if you count on a certain percentages declining that will bite you later and you'll get %100 acceptance. Rather fun really.
I am thinking about asking my nephews to be ushers. Basically pass out the programs and seat people. Perhaps having matching ties and boutonnieres. My nephews are all adults and are coming to the wedding. DF also has 2 nephews in their early teens. We are guessing that they would be appalled to be ushers and would rather stay in the background. I hope this won't hurt any one's feelings on Fiancee's side. Weddings do seem to be loaded with mine fields at times. I'm hoping my niece will sing as well. DF's sister and niece will be her attendants. So I think the families should feel fairly well represented.
I can't wait until my mum and sisters visit this summer and I can share more of the plans and details with them face to face. It is a shame we all live so far apart when there is stuff we would enjoy sharing. All in all though I am still feeling good about it and really enjoying being engaged. I'm also getting plenty of opportunities to let go. And if the last 12 or so save-the-dates don't go out for weeks or ever because DF's hasn't gotten the addresses; well it won't be the end of the world. Now working on letting go over the honeymoon in Victoria that DF is planning that may take a bit more work... but it's doable. Really I have plenty of things I need to get done myself.
We had dinner with some friends who insisted on treating us in honor of our engagement. Very sweet gesture. I was smiling to myself thinking 'it's like our engagement party' [we didn't have an actual one, so it was very nice] fiancee keeps on adding people to the guest list. I have to really wonder how many people we are really going to end up having... We will probably need to discuss this and how we can be sure to keep our list around 80 like we planned. It seems like if you count on a certain percentages declining that will bite you later and you'll get %100 acceptance. Rather fun really.
I am thinking about asking my nephews to be ushers. Basically pass out the programs and seat people. Perhaps having matching ties and boutonnieres. My nephews are all adults and are coming to the wedding. DF also has 2 nephews in their early teens. We are guessing that they would be appalled to be ushers and would rather stay in the background. I hope this won't hurt any one's feelings on Fiancee's side. Weddings do seem to be loaded with mine fields at times. I'm hoping my niece will sing as well. DF's sister and niece will be her attendants. So I think the families should feel fairly well represented.
I can't wait until my mum and sisters visit this summer and I can share more of the plans and details with them face to face. It is a shame we all live so far apart when there is stuff we would enjoy sharing. All in all though I am still feeling good about it and really enjoying being engaged. I'm also getting plenty of opportunities to let go. And if the last 12 or so save-the-dates don't go out for weeks or ever because DF's hasn't gotten the addresses; well it won't be the end of the world. Now working on letting go over the honeymoon in Victoria that DF is planning that may take a bit more work... but it's doable. Really I have plenty of things I need to get done myself.
starting on cakes
We had our first cake tasting yesterday morning. Everything everyone has ever said about Buttercream is true. Their cakes are delicious. Wow. Their prices are reasonable, they deliver and set up. They are always fresh not frozen. We are seriously considering them.
Why didn't we choose them? Well a lot of their flavors like amaretto have actual alcohol in them. While we are not having a dry wedding there will be a lot of people there who don't drink including one of the brides. So no alcohol in the cake. We are planning on having a fabulous cake with more than one flavor but that is the only dessert [maybe ice cream?] so everyone needs to be able to eat it if they want. Also my goal is to have a cake that I can enjoy as well. Although Buttercream's cakes are not too sweet, they are right on that line. If they had been too sweet for me they would have tasted bad to me They are not going to create a sugar-free, no artificial sweetener recipe just for me. They are a very nice, large operation. So basically they are probably our fall back. The other option is to get a lovely cake for everyone from Buttercream and get me a lovely cake from the Wedge that is more to my taste and low sugar needs. We'll see what happens. We have several other bakers to visit.
We had time before our pre-marital counseling so we dashed over to Bed, Bath and Beyond. Our only goal was to decide if we wanted to register there. I was impressed that they were clearly use to dealing with gay couples. We have china and stainless flatware over at Bloomingdale's but we wanted another national option. I love the fact that they sell Dysons there. DF loved the massaging chair pads. She questioned whether we needed to register else where but just wandering through the kitchen department she realized there are actually a lot of things we need. Like pots with lids...towels, sheets for the double bed, blankets to replace those that are dying. So 40 minutes was enough for us to decide to do it. I set it up last night online and next Monday we are going to go to another cake appointment and back to BB&B and put things on our registry.
Today and Thursday are our wedding free days. We do our best to not talk about wedding plans unless an emergency comes up. I am looking forward to the break since this past week+ has been quite wedding heavy. That doesn't mean there will be no blogging though, even though I am not talking about it with my fiancee. I find that for me with a project this big it runs through my mind fairly constantly. This is one of the reasons I want to step up my meditation practice. All in all though with most of the major decisions done I feel like I can kick back a bit. I would really like to get those last dozen save-the-dates in the mail though.
Why didn't we choose them? Well a lot of their flavors like amaretto have actual alcohol in them. While we are not having a dry wedding there will be a lot of people there who don't drink including one of the brides. So no alcohol in the cake. We are planning on having a fabulous cake with more than one flavor but that is the only dessert [maybe ice cream?] so everyone needs to be able to eat it if they want. Also my goal is to have a cake that I can enjoy as well. Although Buttercream's cakes are not too sweet, they are right on that line. If they had been too sweet for me they would have tasted bad to me They are not going to create a sugar-free, no artificial sweetener recipe just for me. They are a very nice, large operation. So basically they are probably our fall back. The other option is to get a lovely cake for everyone from Buttercream and get me a lovely cake from the Wedge that is more to my taste and low sugar needs. We'll see what happens. We have several other bakers to visit.
We had time before our pre-marital counseling so we dashed over to Bed, Bath and Beyond. Our only goal was to decide if we wanted to register there. I was impressed that they were clearly use to dealing with gay couples. We have china and stainless flatware over at Bloomingdale's but we wanted another national option. I love the fact that they sell Dysons there. DF loved the massaging chair pads. She questioned whether we needed to register else where but just wandering through the kitchen department she realized there are actually a lot of things we need. Like pots with lids...towels, sheets for the double bed, blankets to replace those that are dying. So 40 minutes was enough for us to decide to do it. I set it up last night online and next Monday we are going to go to another cake appointment and back to BB&B and put things on our registry.
Today and Thursday are our wedding free days. We do our best to not talk about wedding plans unless an emergency comes up. I am looking forward to the break since this past week+ has been quite wedding heavy. That doesn't mean there will be no blogging though, even though I am not talking about it with my fiancee. I find that for me with a project this big it runs through my mind fairly constantly. This is one of the reasons I want to step up my meditation practice. All in all though with most of the major decisions done I feel like I can kick back a bit. I would really like to get those last dozen save-the-dates in the mail though.
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