Barber of Seville

This opera was definitely a cure for my Friday blues. It was so amusing, lovely music, campy, witty, silly--my brain turned off completely.

It is such a happy reminder that humans can create zany entertainment, we can add to the beauty of the world. I once again bought tickets where I didn't really want them. For some reason in this venue I get the seating chart mixed up. We were in the front row center which entailed a teeny bit of neck craning but it was delightful to see the singers' faces as they performed their parts. I was in awe of their ability to produce such beautiful sound while doing a lot of acting and very physical comedy.

We enjoyed the chance to dress up and go to the opera immensely. Thank the goddess for art. It really does heal I think. I think the run closed today which is a shame, everyone should have had the chance to see it.

Yesterday was another fabulous day with a graduation to celebrate, a dear friend just finished 4 years of training to become a homeopath. We went to the ceremony to celebrate then there was lovely after party at the Wilde Roast. It was such a delight to witness the culmination of all that hard work, and when I think that I wrote one of her reference letters 4 years ago I get quite teary eyed. Brava Su.

Sunday seems to be rounding off a nice weekend and there is ECD tonight. We are preparing to go back to the cottage next weekend and there is a dinner party to get ready for on Friday night. Lots to look forward to in life. It's good to remember what is good. I hope everyone else has pleasant thoughts to dwell on this week.

sadness filled heart

What a week, eh? I find it hard to voice my pain over the memos that were released this week. I spent the 8 years W was in office reminding myself that it was not forever, all things change eventually. That is the brilliant part about change, bad things don't last any more than the good ones. But the release of the memos is such a painful reminder for me of just how much damage can be done to [and by] a country in 8 years.

All the fear that is so prevalent due to the global economy woes with more and more layoffs being announced every day and now this heavy sadness on top. I am just trying to accept it. I guess because trying to ignore it or push it away is impossible [and would be unhealthy anyway] it is everywhere in the very air for me.

So I try to hold that in one hand and reach out with my other hand to what I can do. I can do my work, I can be nice to myself, I can do a couple of errands, I can re pot a plant, buy some stuff for my early garden in the south facing, by the house, sheltered part of the yard and I can look forward to the opera with friends tonight. Mostly I can try to be kind to all I meet today because really it's hard for everyone. Not one of us is alone.

Tax Day a holiday?

When I upload national holidays to my electronic calendar it loads up "Tax Day: United States" for today. WTF? I mean did I miss when this day became a holiday?

I wonder if I know the meaning of the word holiday? I didn't think it meant the day that an annoying amount of yearly paperwork is due to the government. [and let me just say that MN's forms are particularly annoying, they don't want you to send in your W2, oh no they want a another form filled out with same information on the W2]

Anyway taxes got sent in very late again this year, deliberately. I do not use tax rebates as a saving plan. [though I did for years] Then I had a mortgage for years and I got money back on because of the interest I paid. Then for a few years since I sold my property my taxes went back to basics and I did my best to balance out my exceptions [or do I mean exemptions?] because I want all my money when I earn it thank you very much. I don't want the government to use it [for free] for months. Though they will charge you big if you owe them "too much" at the end of the year. In MN the limit is $500 I believe. Note though if they owe you a huge amount $500, $1000, $5000 they don't pay you for getting to use your money all that time.

Wow, I had no idea tax day would make me so 'ranty'. I won't even start on the escrow insurance/tax 'scam' that banks do so that they can use your money for free.

Of course all this will change next year with the interest from the cottage mortgage payments. It will probably be several years before I get it all back into balance again but I love a mathy challenge.

oh yeah -- merry tax day all.

Did you notice?

I managed to get a picture to display yesterday?

Here's another one of the cutest border collie in the world, to me at least. She is 14 and deaf but still loves to chase her frisbee. She is not thrilled about water but she will get her feet wet to drink. Our other dog loves water she has already gone up to her chest.

Easter, I had a nice and relaxed morning. I slept so well which was much needed because it was so horribly cold the night before at the cottage. Strange I didn't have any chocolate the whole day. Wasn't a deliberate choice, it just happened. Carolyn's family made the most fabulous brunch, timbales, spinach tart, fruit, sweet rolls. We just brought the bubbly, since we spent the rest of the weekend working at the cottage and other paid projects and had no time for cooking.

I made it to ECD last night. It was one of those weeks where the music all started to sound the same to me, and not in a good way. I had my first bike ride a couple of days ago. I feel like exercise is a good thing again. I'm sore but not too bad. The weather is finally a bit more spring-like around here. It's all looking up.

I read the above and I realize that my attitude must be improving because unhappy things also happened. A close friend lost her dad to cancer this week. This is the third friend in a year to lose a parent. Another friend shared her daughter is really bad with the cancer, they hope that they may be able to use radiation and chemo to put her in remission but, well what a thing to hope.

Yep, time to write my parents. *sigh*

streak over here's why

My 12 days of posting in a row are over. But I had a good reason.

We have closed on the cottage!! It was surreal and exhausting and wonderful. All the snow and ice is gone and I got to see the blue, blue of the lake. It was so beautiful.

I got to see all the old stuff being carried out. And the first bit of our stuff went in. We got to meet the wood stove. We completely froze on the air mattress because we didn't have an insulating layer between the mattress and the freezing foundation.

We sat on the deck and admired the water. The dogs waded and drank it. I was reminded how horrible it is to live with out running water and then felt gratitude when I thought about how few people on the planet have it.

It just mind boggling to think of this cottage on this beautiful lake we now have to cherish. Sure there is a lot to be done, but for now I drank in the quiet.

and the fact that there are no bugs out yet!

self care despair

I am having one of those "busy weeks". You know the kind. In fact if you are a mother with several children under 12 you probably have them frequently.

This week we are closing on the lake house and work, well let's just say, they are loading it on. I am exhausted. Too exhausted to do the stuff that will make me feel better. Biking, qi gong, journaling, walking in the sunshine. All ways that have been have been tested, that I know make me feel better. But I am too tired to do them, all the while knowing that if I did at least some of them I would not feel as tired.

I just feel stuck [and tired] I know I am not alone, this web page calls attention to this problem. It' s always nice to know you are not alone with a problem. I think that can tone down the guilt but it seems that this is one of those things we all have to solve in our unique way.

We all have different jobs and family structures and so forth. I hope being present and aware and thoughtful and listening to yourself is the way to go. But again it is so hard to do when you are so tired. It makes things that should be joyful stressful. Like is throwing a dinner party wonderful or stressful? How about a lake house? A trip to India? Stress really sucks the joy out of stuff.

So I wanna take the joy back, maybe after a nap?

States of Hope

So very, very brain dead but certainly happy.

First Iowa, now Vermont, DC... it's been quite a week and it is only Tuesday.

I am so tired but sitting here so happy with tears in my eyes. I'm thinking about my third wedding. I haven't had my third wedding yet but it has never seemed closer. I can see a time when my country, my entire country will recognize all my rights as a citizen and I will marry the woman I love for the third and final time.

Update: I may be wrong about the third final time bit. When I got home my DW talked a lot about how Iowa is close by, we could do a day trip and they don't have residency requirements and well, I am a sucker for a proposal. So wedding v3.0 may be sooner than expected.

In my own country, legally, with all the benefits and breaks it entails. Anywhere in my own country. I am just overwhelmed with the idea, that it is coming. That I will live to see it.

We probably won't have a big party since we enjoyed that already. We probably won't 'go away' to do it, although that was fabulous.

I know it will be wonderful though. Maybe I'll wear orange.

Happy thought: I may finally get to be a chief bridal ninja as well!!

It feels right. It feels potent. I hope.