you're wrong, it's a pattern

Sometimes I am critical and I notice things about myself and others that I think are 'wrong'. But that's not what I am talking about here.

This thing happens at work, it happened again this week in fact. I'm working on a project with someone, not a new person, and they are doing things wrong. This isn't an opinion thing it's a real mistake or misinformation. Like someone writing red + yellow = blue, instead of orange. In terms of our business it's incorrect. It will break something or perhaps cause something to not work at all.
So it would be worse to ignore it. And there isn't a question of deliberate sabotage or malice.

The first few times I mention the corrections in passing, no big deal we're all human. By about the 6th time I am getting irritated, mostly because I take it 'reverse personally'. I start thinking that the person in question must be hating me because I am noticing and correcting their errors. I start figuring out which errors are safe to ignore [at least for a time] and which have to be communicated right away to stave off bigger errors [hopefully].

Some people make the same errors over and over again, and I start to feel like I am doing all their work and that I must suck at communication because why didn't they understand the process the first 11 times? It causes delays and problems for projects.

But you know I don't want to 'narc' on them. [am I twelve years old?] Sometimes I feel guilty when I don't say anything, I feel guilty for with-holding knowledge.

Mostly I feel all weird about it. *sigh* I have the toughest time negotiating it. I get stressed about it. It takes up time and energy that I keep telling myself I would like to use elsewhere.

I was venting about this to my wife and asking advice 'should I say something this time...' when suddenly I realized this is a freaking pattern.

It's been going on for about 3+ years, and it keeps on happening with different people. And I have no idea why. [covert psychological experiment?]

I try to coax some sense out of the pattern and it goes fuzzy. I really have no ideas right now. I don't think it's about expectations or fairness or speaking out or being realistic about intelligence...

But I am giggling because it took me this long to see that it was a pattern and I do feel hopeful now that the 'why' of the pattern is coming to me at some point and maybe I'll even get to stop running this pattern even though I don't know how that would happen. But it could.


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