garden glare

Am I being too sensitive? Surely the garden isn't actually glaring at me?

But today when we got back from the cottage and I pulled the weeds back from my miniature yellow rose, a gift from a dear friend and saw once again that the bugs [or something] had eaten virtually every leaf off of it. Did I mention again?

So frustrating. Also I just realized I don't even remember what gift occasion the wee yellow rose bush was for... hmmmm. I wonder if the giver remembers.

Anyway I don't quite understand how the garden has gotten so out of control. I need more mulch desperately, I couldn't find cocoa shells, my preferred type this year, and I just feel all of these huge shoulds when I look at it nowadays. It's so 'behind' it's not giving me much joy, although I do cheer on the plants making it in these tough conditions.

Let's be fair, it's not the garden glaring at me, it is getting plenty of rain and warmth this year. It could happily run amok all summer. I am glaring at myself.

I want it to be different, weeded for one, and for some reason it feels overwhelming and I feel disinclined to do it. A lot. The heat and humidity we have been having is a big part of it I am sure. I keep thinking 'it should look different'.

Not sure exactly what to do here. Why, when I was much more busy last year, did it seem so much easier? Is a clever metaphor needed here to make it more fun for me? Or perhaps a bug proof screen hat? Perhaps a few hours of gardening help from a willing slave er friend? A gardening epiphany?

In the meantime I am committed to not use my garden as a way to be nasty to myself. I think I can do that much.


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