metphors work!

So back here I talked about my needing a metaphor that enabled me to interact with the changes at work that would keep me sane. One that that felt comfortable.

I did find my metaphor during the following week but I wasn't sure if I was going to blog about it. It seemed that it was so specific for me that it couldn't be of any use to anyone else. A couple of friends convinced me otherwise.

So here it goes, my work = an active drunk.
As soon as I made that connection so many things improved for me. For one thing I stopped thinking I was in some way responsible for their erratic behavior and choices. Then I realized I needed to take care of me and not try to take care of them or make things better for them. I needed to act responsibly and ethically but I didn't need to expend energy on trying to save them. I didn't cause their crazy behavior, I certainly can't change or cure it.

In other words I expanded the 12th step in Al-Anon in a new empowering way that works for me. By seeing my work as an active drunk I can let go of a lot of unrealistic expectations. For instance I no longer expect them to behave rationally, that would just be silly. I also realize their view of reality is warped and that I do not need to buy into it. I just let go.

This isn't to say work doesn't still annoy me at times but now I know how to respond in a way that eases stress for me. As always in letting go you get free. I have peace back, even if some days I get through one hour at a time.
I can maintain a sense of compassion as well. Especially for my coworkers trying to deal with the same drinker.

Seriously, it has been quite fabulous. I don't know how meaningful this will be for someone who is not used to 12 step programs though. [or really anyone] but then I guess you never know. I am so grateful though. peace out.

It's a pretty fabulous world.


Timekeeper said...

I like this post.

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