my Mother and invitations

My mother seems to be really getting into the wedding groove. It's been over 20 years since her other children got married. I know she wishes she wasn't so far and that she could do more. But really just talking to her about it is fun. She was a florist in the 60's and 70's and did a lot of weddings. This was before a lot of places had coordinators so she frequently ended up being the on site ceremony coordinator for a lot of brides.

She is hard of hearing so we can't talk much on the phone. We write. My parents usually can't get their email to work, especially the sending. I know she has typed me out 2 letters in email over the last 10 days but they haven't managed to send them to me. I get a lot of empty messages from them. I know it's frustrating for her and it sure is for me.

Luckily her hearing aids were working fairly well yesterday because she wanted to talk to me about stuff she didn't want to get lost in email. I wish I had the conversations on tape, they were so cute.

'Will you tell me who you are inviting to the wedding?' Mom asks.
My mind went blank, did she want me to start reciting my whole list?
'Do you mean from the family?' I asked. She said 'yes'.
'Well, my sisters, their children....'.
'no, no, I don't mean them, [her children, lol] my family, are you inviting your aunts?'
'well, I was thinking about it, I think I should'

I think I'll give up the quote battle...

Then she went on about how my aunts all love me, they have always loved me.
And naturally they all know I am gay, but they are all very conservative. But they do all love me and they did meet Carolyn almost 2 years ago but they are conservative [many more reps deleted]. I said that of course I am not expecting them to come all this distance and I pointed out that if I was marrying just any guy I would be inviting them, and not inviting them seems a bit like lying. I mentioned I was also planning on inviting my Aunt G and Aunt A [from my Dad's side] she brushed them aside with an 'of course'.

She saw my point... Why don't we think it over for a week and talk about it next Sunday? I agreed because really I am not sure how much of my extended family I want to invite. About an half an hour later I was talking to Dad about his continued email problems and Mom wanted to talk to me.

"I was cleaning the kitchen and thinking about what you said. I think you should invite your aunts. of course I am not trying to tell you what to do, it is your wedding I realize that. but you should invite Aunt J., Aunt M., Aunt B., and Aunt K, all my sisters. Though of course it is up to you. it's your wedding. But don't invite your Uncle H. [who I had basically forgot] there's just no point and Aunt R will just go on and on about it." I agreed meekly and we said good bye for the week.

I can't begin to say how funny and sweet my mom is being. I'm so touched by her thinking about the wedding, dealing with any homophobia she may still have, being willing to share with her family and so on. I just love my mum.

It just scares me sometimes that she is so elderly, she is 80 now. How I hope I have her for a good long time because I really like having my mother around. I'm glad since I am getting married that she is still here .


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